Jail Institutions or Death

bynrm

the black guard dog lay next to me. he smells, he needs a bath. He's got greasy ears. but i can barely shower myself these days. i can stick my hair up into a Mohawk just from the dripping grease in it. I'm a slob with bad hygiene, my teeth in pictures look bright yellow so I never smile. the dog just farted and tried to act like he didn't. It smells terrible. I yelled at him but he just slightly lifted his head from wooden floor and went back to sleep.this morning I ate 100 milligrams of Prozac and five of my klonopins. is it normal to go through 60 klonopins in a few days. there are only about 9 left. I don't remember snorting or eating that many.I met this senile old psychiatrist who by the power of suggestion will seem to give me just about anything, got 30 ambiens too, but don't have money to fill, ambiens are fuking expensive, like 70 bucks for 30 of them with no insurance, i had to scam, pawn and swindle just to get my klonopins filled.I fed all three cats and most of them just licked at the soft food and walked away. what's wrong with them? now later when I try and feed it them they will know it's been open and not think it's fresh enough to eat.a friend of mine told me he heard once cats are apparently tripping on extacy all the time. I laughed telling him that was such bullshit. this kid is only 20 but has a knowledge of every drug possible. even more so than me. we did some 2CI the other day that made me half trip balls if only there was a little more of it. i hear it's still legal as well.I'm just about out of gas, have no money, no job, and I'm sick of being broke, no unemployment anymore, no food stamps. I applied at like 30 places yesterday when I was a little wired on adderal. why wont these ass holes hire me? I mean I am not applying for a senate seat. just give me 2 to 4 days to get any drugs out of my system since most places drug test these days. just a dishwashing job or pizza job or something. i mean yeah, I'm kinda funny looking but it's not like I'm rocky Dennis from the movie mask or anything. the economy really is fuked thanks to that ass hole Bush. so I'm a convicted drug felon, i didn't realize your not aloud to clean toilets because of a 3 year old possession charge with intent.a few weeks ago when I had money and was drunk I went to the bad part of town where black people hang around and hookers. they all stand around outside working on their cars making drug deals on their cell phones. all these streets are named after big cities like Detroit, or phoenix, it really is ghettosville. And white folk should not be coming around here period.I pulled up and said to one..."Hey man, can you help me out?""On what?" he asked, looking angry already."Just a 20 rock." I said, fearful."Sure, no problem, just pull over to that side of the street.I kept watching them in my rear view mirror and they kept staring back at me making cell phone calls, glaring at the stupid white boy.After about 10 minutes I started getting nervous and started my car up to leave, but one of them yelled to chill, it's on it's it's way.5 minutes later a state trooper pulls up with his partner. i just about shit a brick. I had needles in my car and used crack pipes.they came walking up to me, and the black guys started pointing at me narcing on what I was up to. those slimy no good afro motherfukers. why couldn't they have just told me to fuk off and leave!I stepped out of my car."lets see some ID sir," one of them said, looking me over real good. I was drunk too but was chewing on mint gum, always saves my ass.his partner chimed in..."Mind if we ask what you are doing parked here in a known drug area Mr. Martini?"my mind could come up with a million lies quickly if it had to."I was just having car trouble and I saw those guys over their working on cars so I asked them if they could help me with my car for 20 bucks.""Don't try and bullshit us Mr. Martini.""Yeah, we aint rookies," his partner chimed in."What's wrong with your car?" one asked."I don't know, it's old, may have just been over heating or something."I looked back at the Negroes who had framed me, and they were all watching with smiles on their faces. what dick heads, I mean for real, what fuking ass holes."You wouldn't happen to be here trying to buy some crack now would you?""No sir. I quit drugs years ago sir.""We don't belive a dam word your saying Mr. Martini. Will you give us consent to search your vehicle.oh hell no, i thought."No sir I wont, I have rights as well, and you will have to have probable cause or get a warrant. I know my rights.""Why are your hands shaking so much Mr. Martini?""Cause I take Prozac and drink too much coffee sir."I cant believe they didn't run my license and see that i was on felony drug charges.They both kinda looked at each other."We know you are full of shit Mr. Martini, but were giving you a break, now get the hell out of here now," he said, handing my lisence back."Thank you officers, thankyou so much."i would have been looking at a second felony and prison time in the big butt raping cages of some god awful place."Get the hell out of here now!" one yelled.my shaking hands started up the car and i cut down some side roads, contstantly looking in my rear veiw mirror for any more pigs. i grabbed my needles and crack pipe and threw them out the window. oh thank god i kept saying, crossing myself in the name of the father son and holy ghost.i promised that was my final warning and decided to start going back to NA meetings and go to chruch on sundays with mother.3 days later i was racing drunk down the freeway to go meet my normal connection.

the day the clown came
by Nicholas R Morgan


she lost me when she started eating colored crayons claiming her poop would be beautiful with rainbow colors.she had been eating acid everyday like it was candy and I'm no drug counselor but I could see it was really making her already psychotic thoughts become into boiling versions of soon to erupt schizophrenia.her sentences never made sense anymore, it was all babble about the earths water and how to help the animals of the world after she took a boat ride to Egypt on an underwater spaceship, to save the dieing iguanas, who had now became gods. blabbering crazy girl talk, she thought she had these 2 monkeys around her all the time who were her spiritual guardians, one's name was Fedget, he was the male, and the female monkeys name was Elizabeth the third.i tried at times to coach her into not eating acid everyday but her parents were gone on a vacation for a month and she had no brothers or sisters, just me staying with her in this huge rich doctors house for a month. sometimes she would take steak knives and cut her hands and up her wrists, and when i tried to stop her once she called me a sissy and stuck the knife to my throat while chewing on acid and crayons. she would always be singing to. like some little kid songs only in an evil voice, jumping up and down saying... "lets do something fun today My beautiful Roscoe!"i had stopped taking the acid after she freaked me out one too many times. i need a mellow trip, not some paranoid worried trip about what she might do next. one time she came out in her dads business suit and his shoes and everything and came out with a pad and pen and she had written some long speech, and she stood at this podium statue like thing they had and she began.."Ladies and Gentleman, I'd like to thank you for all coming to this gathering to save the planet through telepathic thought patterns which we can all do through one conscious universe once we realize it can be done. the iguanas know we are coming through the underground tunnels and everything is being prepared for are arrival. These are my grad students who are helping me, this is Mr.Fedget, she pointed to her right telling him to take a bow, and here we have Elizabeth the third, please take a bow mam."i was sitting on her couch thinking about calling 911, but i decided to just keep sucking on this giant bottle of Swedish vodka her dad had in his liquor cabinet, and light one joint after another and watch her."MMMHHHMMMMM, excuse me, i didn't mean to be rude, this is the love of my life named Roscoe, lets all give him a big round of applause." there was just silence till she took out some crayons and started munching away on them.she went on..."this society is a brainwashed group of clowns and we all know clowns are not as funny as they think they are. Soon we will be having a clown come here to prove my point. I too can change into different versions of any animal I choose, especially colorful ones cause look how colorful my shit is. " she pulled down her underwear and began shitting all these crayolas out into her hand, her dog running up to lap some of it up. she held piece of it up for her invisible monkeys to eat as well, then threw a big chunk at me. I dodged it and freaked out a little.Look girl, you gotta get your head back on straight, you cant be eating crayons and talking about clowns and underwater vessels in Egypt to some iguana gods. she looked down at the ground sad, underwear still around her ankles."But I thought you said you loved me?" she sighed."I do, but just slow down on all the acid and get a grip on things for a little while, just smoke some of this weed for a while."Chicken shit back stabber. goat fuking Elvis imposter!" she yelled at me.That's when there was a knock on the door. She collapsed on the floor sucking her thumb and spitting up crayons."I'll get it honey, just wait right there on the floor."I peeked through the peek hole and sure enough it was a real live fuking clown face smiling back at me holding a bunch of balloons.made me panic, what had she done, really gone and called a clown to come to the house?I think she had already eaten three tabs this morning as she had that crazed acid look on her sweaty face."Sir, please go away, you got the wrong house, huge misunderstanding."I told him through the door."No. wrong house Mr.!"" a lady ordered me. PUFFY THE CLOWN CLOWN! FOR A CELBRATION!"that's when she sort of came out of her daze and puked up crayons and acid all over the pad she had been writing on and came running to the door."Is he here! oh Roscoe baby! let Mr. puffy the clown in! LET HIM IN I SAID" she said, getting evil and pushing past me and the door.she swung the door open and this 4foot 5 dwarf of a chubby little man all dressed as a clown with make up on said....."You must be the lady I talked to on the phone! I'm here to entertain you!""Oh thank god, Roscoe here was boring me to death, come in come in."he started doing these stupid magic tricks with a hat and rabbit and all these other dumb ass silly balloon shaping things and making third grader jokes while my girl rolled around on the couch laughing her ass off.I slugged some more Swedish vodka down and could not believe that this girl I had met over a month who I thought I was falling in love with, maybe just cause she was so good looking, like an exotic Russian model, maybe she had lost her mind this quickly, or maybe there was something in her past I didn't know about. like she was bonkers to begin with.I did see some strange pictures of her and her father in S & M outfits on a red silk bed. but I tried to tell myself it must have just have been Halloween or something. but I knew there was something wrong. very wrong with this girl. no woman can be that beautiful and not be some kind of nutcase, plus she liked me, and I looked like an ugly toad.I saw that dam clown swallow a hit of acid and began to laugh. He was a dirty old pervert for sure. must have been around 68 under that make up, some old crazy hippy in clown make up had come and ruined everything. now those two were having more fun and leaving me out."Time for you to go now scruffy the clown or whatever your name is!"i said, getting angry."No , No honey i want to show Puffy my outline for the final days before i go to Egypt. just wait here, I'm taking him to my room to show him.I sat there with my face full of anger and booze, having all these horrible thoughts that she was going to take him back there and fuk his clowny brains out.After 15 minutes i couldn't take it anymore. I slammed open the room to her door and there it was. One of the sickest sights i could ever see. I almost barfed my vodka up right away.she had his clowny pants down around his ankles and was sucking him like a vacuum cleaner. he had this big grin under his clown make up grin.for a second i didn't know what to do. the thought of homicide came to mind, but i just started shaking..."Fuking Slut! i hope you choke on his cock and all those crayons you eat!"i yelled at her.she didn't even turn around.I grabbed all her dads booze i could carry and raced home in a fit of rage and anger. drank till i puked for hours, and then she starts calling me non stop at 3 in the morning leaving these weeping messages that she;'s gonna kill herself or something. I just turned my phone off and passed out.

cake sounds good
broken nails & screams come
from a mans upstairs window
he bangs away on an old sears guitar
where he has snorted 10 benzos
& all it brings on is wanting to sleep
klonopins are shit compared to xanax
got a script for 30 ambiens too
but no way to swindle up money
for them
if feel sluggish all the time
maybe that's a sign my body is giving out
people have heart attacks at 39, sometimes earlier
we can only hope and pray someday
made a vanilla cake
with graham cracker crumbs on top
along with this chocolate syrup
it wasn't even cooked and i took it out of oven
& i ate the entire thing
vanilla all over the dogs and cats
& floor when i put the spin things on to high
next day i had all this dried vanilla and chocolate
all crusted around my goatee
& i panicked for a second not knowing what it was
maybe it was that flesh eating disease.
but then i remember what i had done
all wobbling round on benzos
falling on my face, animals staring at me
no wonder i'm a fat fuk these days
　
Maximum Glorification
By nrm

Max looked down at his huge gut in disgust. He didn’t want that gut. It seemed to just keep getting bigger and bigger. He couldn’t stop eating. He use to be thin and in shape but ever since he started taking his new meds it felt like he was always hungry no matter how much he ate.He would rather stare at his weight bench and treadmill than actually use them. Max didn’t even have a job and he was 38 years old. He had no friends in the town he lived in. He lived with his grandmother. Max had a cat named Felix who was his best friend. Max wasn’t even sure half the time if the anti depressants were making him better or worse. When he got his bi weekly unemployment check he’d just waste it on hard booze and drugs. His grandmother still treated him like he was 12. Always asking where he went if he happened to go out for the night. Always accusing him of being on drugs.Max had many pipe dreams and plans that he never followed through with his entire life. It wasn’t long before he hardly left his grandmothers house at all. He started getting more and more paranoid about the outside world.He stopped taking showers. He’d just sit in his room staring at the useless TV. Max use to write short stories and paint with acrylics. It was his passion. Art and literature. But for some reason the last few years or so his mind had sort of run out of creative fuel for some reason.The only time he felt half way inspired to write anything was when he was drunk or on some good uppers or opiates. The meds he was on had killed his sexual drive, which was fine with him. He didn’t have enough self-esteem left to try and meet a woman. He really didn’t have much to offer a female. He had no money and no plan for his future. His dick didn’t really work anymore either.Sometimes he even thought his cat Felix didn’t really care for him. Max tried meditation, bouts of sobriety, religion; anything that he thought might help him feel better about things. Nothing seemed to work. He felt like there was something missing from his life. But he just didn’t know what.His Grandma came knocking on his door."Max? What are you doing in there all day long?" she asked, trying to open his locked door."Trying to figure out why I exist Grandma.""Max, I want you to take Bubbles on a walk today."Bubbles was his grandmothers annoying dog.Max didn’t respond. He despised taking that dog on walks. There were always other people out walking around all happy in the sunlight. Sometimes they would try and talk to Max, and Max was not a sociable person at all these days."Max! Max! Did you hear me?""Yes grandma, can I wait till tonight when it’s not so hot out?""Ok Max, but don’t forget. Bubbles will be waiting."Max nodded his head in despair and curled back up into his mattress."Fuking bubbles troubles doubles snuggles, gobbles, fuggles," he muttered, in some angry voice. A massive wave of depression shot through his entire being and he shivered. His mind kept trying to come up with some kind of plan. Some sort of job he could handle without wanting to blow his brains out after every shift. Something that would get him motivated again. Something to give him some sort of joy in his life.He contemplated suicide all the time but realized he would really hurt his family members by doing such an act. Plus he always thought, what if it’s even worse when you die?Where does ones soul go? What if all that heaven and hell stuff is the real deal? Max was raised catholic and he always wondered about death and religion.Max looked down at his gut again and poked it with a finger. He wished he had some money to get drunk or buy some cigarettes.Felix hardly even hung out with him anymore. Felix would just chill in another room and ignore Max most of the time.Max would try and pet him sometimes and Felix would just look annoyed and swat at him.Max’s only real comfort was stuffing his chubby face with food all day long. But that was turning him into a blob of human fat. He waited every month for those dam food stamps to come through. He’d go on a massive drunken spending spree at the grocery store each month when he first got them."Are you eating again?" his grandma would ask every time he opened the fridge."Yes Grandma, am I not aloud to eat now?""Well I’m just saying, that’s all you do is eat, I don’t understand it is all.""I don’t either Grandma," he’d respond, shoving a burrito down his throat.One night Max was taking Bubbles on a walk when he saw some lady coming towards him walking a dog as well. She was slightly over weight like Max, and her dog was the same breed as Bubbles. As they got closer to each other, their dogs struggled to sniff each other’s butts."Hi." Max said to the lady."Well hello, it looks like our dogs are quite curious about one another." She said.Max sort of looked down at the ground trying to remember when his last shower was? Two weeks ago? Three? He knew he probably smelled real bad."My name is Gloria.""Oh, my name is Max," he said, slowly looking up from the ground into her face. Max was never real good with eye contact.They both stood there in the dark night just sort of staring at each other while the dogs sniffed each other."So you live in the neighborhood?" she asked."Yeah, I live with my Grandma right down the street," he told her."No way!" she blurted out."Why you say that?""Cause I live with my Grandma too!"Max let out some awkward chuckle that turned into a hacking smoker’s cough."How old are you?" Max asked."38, what about you?""Me too." He said."Weird hey? It must be a full moon or something, next you’re going to tell me you’re unemployed and take meds for depression?" she laughed."How did you know that about me?" Max asked."Oh my god! Cause I’m in the same boat too! Ha. How crazy is that?"There was a moment of weird silence."Well I guess I better get going Max," she said." Uhhh…. Please… Don’t go yet, I mean, do you want to exchange phone numbers and maybe hang out sometime?" he asked her, all nervous like, looking down at the ground.It was like a miracle when he heard her friendly inviting voice respond."Sure Max, you got a pen and paper?"Max fumbled around in his smelly pockets. He had no pen or paper."Uhhh. Uhhh. No I don’t.. I guess not.""Well you got a good memory?""Not really these days, I mean I use to but, but…""My number is real easy to remember, it’s 555- 3399. Can you handle remembering that till you get home and write it down?" she laughed, winking at him."I sure can, sure I can. Ok Gloria, nice meeting you, I will call you tomorrow if you like?""Sure thing Max. That sounds great. Maybe we could take the dogs to a park and walk them or something?""Yeah, we could do that.""Bye Max.""Bye Gloria."He walked away for about twenty feet. His mind kept telling him to turn around to see if she would turn around as well and look at him.Just as he turned his fat head around, Gloria did the same.She waved to him. He waved back. A spark of hope and an inch of happiness shot through his soul and brain. He hadn’t felt any sort of hope in years.He walked back into his Grandmothers ancient house. It smelled like old people and dog piss. Max took Bubbles leash off and sat down on the couch next to his Grandma with a huge goofy grin on his face staring at the TV. She was watching some ridiculous so-called reality love show called ‘the bachelor.’A commercial came on and his Grandmother muted the volume, looking over at Max’s stupid grinning face."What are you all giddy and smiling about you dam weirdo?" she asked him, taking another slug off her massive glass of wine."I met a girl tonight while on a walk with Bubbles, and we are going to go out on a date.""How old was she? Twelve? Was she retarded and blind or something? Are you sure you didn’t just imagine that she was there? Why would any woman want to go out on a date with you?" his grandma spitted out, grinding her dentures around in her mouth. She let out this evil drunken laugh, while Bubbles lie next to her; feverishly licking his ugly pink crusted brown asshole.The old bag of saggy wrinkled skin and gray hair could be a real bitch after she got enough glasses of wine in her."You know Grandma! Sometimes I wonder how Granddad put up with your negative bullshit for all those years before he finally died.""Your Granddad loved me to death for your information! He never had much to say about you! I Can tell you that much! God rest his soul. I was his life. He was a winner in life. Always had a good job and took care of his family. Unlike you. That’s why he left me all his money and left you nothing. He knew what a no good drug taking loser you always were.""You know GRANDMA! Why don’t you FUK the FUK off! and……and….. another thing….!""Shush now! My favorite reality show is back on. Settle down Max, shush now!""That bullshit is not reality! Those are all actors and the entire show is a fake ludicrous script! I mean look at those people! They aren’t real! They don’t live in any sort of reality!""Max! Go to your room and shut up! Granny is trying to listen to her show!""Fuk this shit!" Max yelled, stomping off to his room and slamming the door with a rage of anger in him. That old witch really knew how to push his buttons. She always had.He punched another huge hole in his wall."FUUUUUUUUUK YOUUUUUUUUU!" he screamed.He heard his Grandma mute her stupid show again and she yelled…"Max! take your dam medication! Don’t make me call the cops again to take you away! Remember what happened last time?"He jumped onto his bed, grabbing a pillow, covering his entire face, he screamed into the pillow, while his legs kicked up and down. He felt trapped. He was so angry. Any time he started feeling any sort of joy or hope that old bag of bones had to bring him down again.Max took some deep angry breaths. Felix came and jumped on his bed, which rarely happened. Felix sat on Max’s legs and stared at him purring. Max began to pet Felix. It made him feel better. Max looked into Felix’s green eyes. Cats always had a calming soothing effect on him when he was freaking out.The next night Max called Gloria and they went out for dinner and a movie. They had so much in common that it seemed strange. They liked the same foods, the same books, they had both been truck drivers in their past, they were both jobless with no friends. The second night they hung out in Max’s room and made love for the first time. Max was surprised his dick still seemed to work fine. They started hanging out all the time and Max no longer felt so depressed. He started writing and painting again and they tried to come up with ideas for their future.Max’s grandma could not stand Gloria. She just could not stand to see anyone happy. She wanted everyone to be miserable like herself. Gloria’s grandma could not stand Max. One day Gloria noticed that Max had a massive collection of bank robbery books on his bookshelf she had never noticed before. Just about any book Max could get on bank robbers or robbing banks he bought."What’s up with that?" Gloria asked him."It’s just sort of a pipe dream of mine that if I ever fully snap I am going to rob a bank. I have studied up on it so much that I think I’d get away with it.""Are you being serious about that Max?""Well, of course I never have done it, I’m just saying you know, maybe if I had never met you and life kept sucking I might have turned to it.""Why don’t we do it? Sounds like a plan to me." She said, surprising Max."Yeah right, your kidding right?""No Max. I’m up for it if you are. Teach me more about banks and how we could get away with it?""I can’t believe you are being serious.""I don’t want to live at grandmas for the rest of my life, do you? And we both hate the idea of getting jobs again."Max began filling her in on all the information he knew about banks. Their security. Their vaults. What days and time are the best to hit a bank. What managers do what and hold which keys. Exploding dye packs and how to spot them. Where their secret bank alarms are. How to watch out for tracking devices in the money. How to case out a bank. How to take control of the robbery quickly and immobilize any security guards. Disguises. Transportation to the bank. The get away. How to hot-wire a car. How to never leave any finger prints. How long you have to get in and out of the bank. How big of a score it will be. Learning the lay out of the bank. If violence is needed. What sort of weapons to use. What to do if something goes wrong. Escape plans. It went on and on.Max gave Gloria his favorite books to read on the subject and she studied them with a passion. He told her about his favorite bank robbers through out history and how the good ones got away with it.They chose a bank that was close. Max figured the closer the bank the quicker they get away and safe.He went into the bank with Gloria so she could open an account one day. He took notice where all the cameras were, how many people were working, the two entrances and exits, what sort of security they had, and he calculated in his head how much time they would have to get in and out with the cash. He noticed the head manager open the vault in the back, and Max took notice of the time he was opening it. He eyed the tellers to see what kind of people they were; he asked what their hours were. Gloria took notes in her head as well as she scoped the entire bank’s lay out.The two of them became obsessed with the entire idea. The planning. They tried to think of every detail. They both agreed if for some reason something went wrong that they would not go to prison. They both agreed they would rather go down shooting. For months and months they went over it non stop, it almost seemed unreal to them, like they were just playing a game, but they both knew they were going to do it. No matter what the outcome they were ready. They watched the video of the north Hollywood shoot out where the men had full body armor suits on and blasted away at the cop’s non-stop. They discussed what if any armor they would have.Max even got a hold of bank robbers in prison and told them he was doing research for a book. He would go to visit them and try and get some more secrets to the art of bank robbery.The plan was coming along just fine in this year of 2012.Max and Gloria built up an arsenal of weapons and bulletproof suits. They began shooting meth for weeks at a time going completely insane together with non-stop sex parties of freak speed sex. Both their grandmas began to get suspicious and ask too many questions but they had Max’s door bolted shut with 8 different locks for security.The news channel blared in the background as Max and Gloria fucked away at each other in a naked pile of sweat with huge jittery pupils of insanity."North Korea has sent another nuke to the island of Hawaii and the chemical attack in New York by the Iranians has now killed over 17, 000, 000!" this petrified looking newsman said.He went on…"President Obama is in hiding after Secretary of state Hillary Clinton was assassinated by the infiltration of terrorists in Washington DC. Mrs. Clinton took a bullet to the head on live television yesterday as most of the American public watched. Most of the city of Los Angeles has been reported to be on fire from the massive earthquake and looting is reported in every-major city, as law enforcement seems to have given up on keeping any sort of order. We have reports of rabid anarchists taking over the city of San Francisco with machine guns. Vice President Biden is nowhere to be found after his trip to the Middle East. His plane went down somewhere in the Atlantic ocean many are speculating it was terrorist related. Congress and the senate have all but disappeared to underground bunkers we assume. America is in shambles folks and it looks like it’s getting worse with another massive chemical attack reported in Detroit. We also have reports coming in from Portland Oregon that another massive infiltration of alien space ships are landing, raping and killing anyone left."The TV goes all fuzzy and shuts down. Max pulls his banana shaped spotty dick from Gloria’s love hole and cums all over her back moaning."What the fuck were they rambling on about on the news honey? That shit was annoying. It’s like who cares what’s going on in the world. We as humans are all fucked sooner or later. You know. People worry about such dumb shit."Max said, scratching his whiskey gut. Gloria agreed. She let out a pussy fart and yellowish stomach juice that looked like lumpy porridge came squirting out all over the bed sheets."Eww, sexy honey, real sexy. For sure." Max said."Couldn’t help it Max."The Cat begins to lap it up."What is today anyway? Holy shit! It’s December 21, 2012! Honey! It’s time to go rob that fucking money filled bank!" Max yelled.He began to dress in his bulletproof armor and load his arsenal of machine guns. Gloria smiled with glee and got in her armor, loading a Mac Ten. They taped all sorts of grenades to their armor. Had bags of dynamite ready.Tons of ammo and guns strapped to their armor covered bodies. They shot up one more big shot of a particular strong batch of meth, ate a few more xanax bars for the nerves and headed out the door.Max’s grandma was having a nervous break down from watching the news, nailing all sorts of wooden boards up over the windows in her gas mask and her Hazardous Materials jumpsuit.They stood in the driveway looking like futuristic fighting machines. They were in love. Crazed neighbors were all freaking out loading up their possessions in hopes of driving somewhere safe. But there was nowhere safe. This was the end of earth. The final day. Max glared over at this one neighbor he never liked. He raised his machine gun. The neighbor was a yuppy snob who would make Max clean up Bubbles dog shit off his lawn.Max aimed at the man and began firing non-stop till the guy was a bloody mess of human road kill splattered in his driveway. Blood and brain matter blew all over the man’s always-perfect lawn. His kid came running out of the house and Gloria aimed her machine gun, squatting down into a sniper position."Gloria! Stop, He’s just a little kid. What the Fuck has gotten into you!" Max yelled at her.Her eyes looked deep into Max’s with tears pouring down her half armored covered face and she let out a painful cry of doomed love from the bottom of her rotten stomach. Something had snapped in her. Her entire body was shakingShe pointed the gun at Max."What the hell are you doing Gloria?" Max managed to say.She fired in a rapid non-stop quivering fashion. Her trigger finger pointing at the only non-armor proof part of his face. Into his eyes. Max dropped to the ground in a dead mess of blood.She stared at his dead body and felt some weird tinge of relief and loss filled with meth-induced psychosis setting in. She never really wanted to rob the bank after all. She was only trying to please her Max. And the stress and aggravation that built in her all those months of planning had finally exploded in a volcano of insanity and violence directed to her true soul mate. She had stopped taking her meds a month ago, never telling Max about it.Gloria looked up at the sky and it went completely black.A thunderous roaring evil almost indescribable horror filled sound came from the sky. Like a zillion tortured babies from some other planet all yelling through the loudest speakers in space.A universal scream of the end of earth, as we knew it. Other people at some of the other houses began to spontaneously combust and evaporate into reddish sand shards shooting up into this yellowish glowing wormhole that seemed to be sucking everything into it’s vortex of power.The sky turned red and cracked in half, blood pelted down from falling clouds, while the worm- hole grew stronger.The ground of earth began to break open into massive chunks of what looked like a never ending black hole and certain people were sucked down instead of up. Things going up, things going down.No one knew how or why they went up or down. For it was decided long ago by the planet hopping alien gods- that had developed wisdom beyond comprehension. The Spinning Wormhole went up into galaxies humans never knew existed. Aliens were going to show some of us chosen ones planets and knowledge we never could have imagined. The prophecy of December 21 2012 had come true.Gloria grabbed Max by the arm. her body couldn’t fight the pulling of the wormhole anymore. A massive piece of earth cracked open under Max and a fifty-foot monstrous underground mutant hand with spinning souls shaped as knives on its fingertips snatched his body downwards. Gloria got zapped up into a whirling time warp of stars & shapes, her body evaporating into red clouds of dusty sand as her soul continued to glide through the massive hole upwards.
　
Penny fo yo thotsby nrmThey had moved all the rehab chairs into a huge circle in the main room where all the meetings were held. Some special guest speaker was standing in the middle of the circle of chairs, strutting around in his cowboy boots and taking a look at all of us sickos.He told us that he had 5 years of sobriety and we all clapped like trained monkeys. He made us all stand up and move in closer. He pulled out a penny and held it up to the ceiling."Now! What we are going to do is pass this penny to the person next to you without dropping it. We are going to do this in a perfect movement where we are all in synchronicity till I say to stop."All the junkies looked around at each other puzzled. The penny began getting passed around the circle."Can’t we do this sitting down?" some grouchy crack head yelled out.The penny went round and round the circle and I could see that some people were starting to get very pissed off with this exercise. The guy in the middle with the cowboy boots on would say stop about every 5 minutes and then we’d start passing the penny again. A few people walked out. And a few more after that. One tattooed heroin felon marched up to the guy in the middle in a fit of anger."This is fuking aggravating and it’s bullshit!" he yelled in his face and walked out."What the fuk is the point of this!" one dude yelled."I’m not paying all this money for this bullshit! I’m here for recovery!" another man yelled."Shut the fuk up!" one guy yelled at some other guy."Fuk you punk!"They got in each other’s face and the cowboy guy in the middle tried to break them up.Half of the people had walked out and were outside complaining. The entire exercise erupted into a yelling match and fights broke out."Great job buddy, you really know how to piss people off don’t you! You fuking jerk!" this crippled drunk with a big red nose in a wheelchair screamed at the guy.I went up to the guy who thought this was going to be some great learning experience and I said.."What was the point of that? Seriously?"He had no answer. He just looked all scared at the near riot he created. Some head counselor lady of the entire rehab came in to talk to the penny man. She looked infuriated.In another building this big black guy was screaming at the top of his lungs that someone had stolen his Nike tennis shoes! He ripped his shirt off and was going berserk as counselors called the police and tried to calm him down.It turned out one of his roommates had just moved them to a different spot while he was sweeping.They kicked that black dude out after his crazed fit of anger.Another guy who was in my group was standing in the hallway arguing with our counselor. She was a mean power tripping little munchkin of a lady that seemed to hate her job and all of us druggies."You are a bitch!" he screamed at her.He got kicked out that day as well. He had only been there for about 3 days and he complained non-stop about how he couldn’t sleep cause of some slob snoring all night long. He demanded they give him a different room and they wouldn’t. Earplugs buddy. I had to use them every night cause I had three snoring roommates.This one guy who never spoke much was having a panic attack in the middle of the hall. I mean a panic attack like I had never seen. His entire body was shaking and he looked like someone had just frightened the shit out of him. His arms and legs, shaking, his hands trembling, people tried to sit him down, and he went into some sort of seizure and the paramedics were called. The entire place was a drama filled freak show every day."Line up for medication! Medication time!" a man’s voice said over the speaker system.After a while it was time for meditation outside. They had put all our chairs in a circle. Some old hippy-looking guy was running the mediation. He was trying to speak and no one was listening to him. People just kept talking over him."Everybody shut up!" this new guy next to me suddenly yelled."Fuk you! You shut up!" this other guy yelled back at him.A huge fight broke out in the middle of the circle. People punching each other. Screaming, tackling each other. The hippy teacher just sat there with a look of disbelief on his face. I walked off back to my room and some counselor told me I wasn’t aloud to go to my room. That I was supposed to be in meditation. I just laughed at him."Go out there and see for yourself. It’s a disaster." I told him.The penny guy that almost started a riot was walking by me in the hall with his head down looking like he was about to go relapse. I got to my room and laid down wondering if all rehabs were this disorganized."I need everyone outside again for meditation guys! Right now!" this counselor said over the speaker system.I decided to try and hide in the closet and get some sleep. It was the only place I didn’t think they would find me. Part of their program seemed to be sleep deprivation. I couldn’t believe people actually paid five grand to come to this place. I was state funded.
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Sister Hellaby nrmWhen I was a young boy of about twelve or thirteen I would stand behind large grown ups in Sunday mass and see halos around certain people’s heads. Sometimes they were different colors. The longer the catholic mass went on the brighter the halos seemed to get.I figured the people that didn’t have the halos were not going to heaven. Some of my friends were alter boys. I remember when church would be going on I’d pick my nose and make all sorts of funny faces at them to try and get them laughing. Many times they almost completely lost it while they were up there. They had to look away from me so they could try and put their serious face back on.We had this nun named sister Nancy that taught a lot of are classes. We use to call her sister Nasty. She had a bright white chubby face covered in red freckles. When she got mad or aggravated her freckles would turn even redder and the veins in her neck would start to throb out. She use to sneak up behind you if you were speaking during a test and smack a ruler down across your hand with a ferocious whack! The girls would always cry or scream but it was a un written rule among the boys that you did not let out any sort of cry or weep what so ever. If one of the boys did, we all took turns throwing a basketball at his back during lunch until he would be in tears.I remember one day at lunch I was sitting with my crew. Sitting across from us was Booger Eater. That’s what we called him anyway. His real name was Ralph Franklin. He had big goofy thick glasses. His hair was always cut into a bucket like buzz cut. It was always greasy and when he wasn’t picking his nose and eating it, he had his hand half way down the back of his pants and was scratching his ass cheeks for some reason only known to him.Every day his mother packed him the same lunch. Tuna fish sandwich, a carton of milk, 2 carrots, and a rotten looking apple.I’d catch him sometimes looking at the other boys who would be eating cake or twinkies. Or they would have home made cookies and different sorts of candy bars. Booger Eater would just stare at them as they ate those things with his massive coke bottled eyeballs. He’d sometimes start picking his nose real slow and savoring every booger as if he was imagining it was a cup cake or cookie.I felt sorry for Booger Eater. My crew and me were always picking on him. He had no friends at all and never uttered a word to any one. Sometimes we would try and make him speak at lunch. We would all start chanting "booger eater! Lets hear you speak! Booger eater! Lets hear you speak!"He’d just sit there chomping away on his carrots with some bizarre half smile on his face. He had something going on in his brain it’s just no one knew what. He got the best grades out of anyone in our class. My one friend who was the biggest bully of them all use to get Booger Eater up against a wall sometimes at recess or lunch and tell him he was going to smash his face apart if Booger didn’t let him cheat off him on the next big test.One of the few times Booger Eater did speak or felt too threatened he would say in this weird nasally voice…."Keep it up and I’ll tell Sister Nancy on you."No one liked Sister Nancy except Booger Eater. He was her best student. Sometimes she would even pull him aside at lunch and he’d get to go eat with her and the other nuns in their special cafeteria. We would all hoot and holler at him as she led him away by the hand.The girls in my class were always separated from the boys at recess and lunch. The only time you really got to try and talk to them was during class or if you came to school early in the morning. There was one girl named Darla Jenkins who would have her mom sew her school skirt up higher. So it would be higher up than any of the other girl’s skirts. Sister Nancy would always warn her that if her skirt got any shorter she would be expelled. I loved her short skirt. She had these great sexy smooth legs. During class, we would pass notes to each other. I’d stare at her legs and dream of touching them.I could tell she liked me but the problem was my friend, Richard Scumpter, he had told everyone that he made out with her and that her breath and pussy stunk like rotten fish. My crew called her "Fishy Girl" They never did to her face. But I’m sure she had heard the nickname. I think Richard was full of shit. She always smelled like strawberries and some exotic perfume when she sat next to me.If my crew caught me talking to her too much they would let me have it at lunch.."You in wuv wit fishy girl! Eh?"We were all only about 12 to 13 years old. Most of us hadn’t even hit puberty. They’d just say all sorts of stupid little kid stuff. I think they were just jealous that she seemed to like me. She was one of the best looking girls in our class.One day at lunch Booger Eater didn’t open his lunch bag. He just sort of stared at us all with a crazier look than usual while he tapped a finger on his leg."What’s a matta? Booger man! You don’t like mama’s lunch no more? Hey pussy?" this mean kid named Kevin Froddle said to him.Booger Eater just stared at him not saying anything."Come on four eyes! Can’t you speak! What’s a matta? Mama didn’t put your apple in there today!"Booger Eater let out a weird grunting like noise and opened his lunch bag up and pulled out a knife. He jumped off the bench and stuck it right in Kevin’s neck!"My name is Ralph!" booger eater screamed.We all looked at the knife in Kevin’s neck stunned.Kevin let out this huge girly scream of horror and pissed his pants. We all ran to go get a school nun.Kevin was ok. He had to get some stitches and ware this weird bandage around his neck for a few weeks afterwards.Ralph got suspended for a week. When he came back to school no one ever made fun of him again.At least not to his face. He walked around with pride now. His shoulders no longer slouched. He even started telling certain members of my crew to shut up if he didn’t like what they were saying during lunch. Just out of the blue."Shut up!" he would bark.We would be silent in fear of a knife in the neck.One-day sister Nancy caught Darla and me passing notes during a test. She grabbed both our notes and marched us out of the classroom into her office. Her neck veins were throbbing. Her freckles turning as red as blood."Both of you are going to sit in nowhere land for the next 3 hours until you learn some respect!" she yelled at us.Nowhere land was this half dark room with crosses all over the walls where students got sent to be punished if they were bad. It only had a few desks in it and there were all these rumors that it was haunted.You were not aloud to talk when in Nowhere land, but everyone did anyway. The nuns would come and check on you every 20 minutes or so. Some of them would say…"Take this time to pray and beg forgiveness for your sinful ways."So me and Darla were sitting there alone together staring at each other. We just started laughing non-stop for some reason."Well this is funner than class." She said."Yeah, this aint so bad at all.""So tell me Darla? Is it true the rumors Richard spreads about you?""What the heck has Richard been saying about me?""You don’t know?" I asked."No.""Well, never mind.""What! What! What! is that loser saying about me?""Nothing, never mind.""He’s the one that tried to kiss me on the bus last year and I turned my lips away from him and told him I didn’t like him in that way.""Really? You never made out with him?""God no! Not in a million years would I!""Well I guess he’s a liar." I said."He sure is." She said, nodding her head in disgust.Sister Nasty stuck her crazy head in the door."No speaking you two! Silence!"I sat there staring at Darla’s legs. She knew I was looking cause she hiked her skirt up even more and sort of grinned a little bit while she put her head down on the desk and let out this sexy sigh."Why you looking at my legs?" she giggled."Because I like them.""Hmmm, is that so? Well why don’t you ever try and kiss me if you like my legs so much?" she asked, in a sexy whisper.I looked at the door worried about another sister poking their head in and decided I had about 14 minutes left to make my move.I stood up and walked over to her desk and bent down. She looked at me with this big smile on her face. I went in for the kiss and our foreheads smashed into each other awkwardly. We both sort of laughed and tried it again. This time our lips connected perfectly. I had never kissed a girl. She started laughing and told me to open my mouth more and to use my tongue on her tongue, so I did.She didn’t taste like fish at all.She got down on the floor and spread her legs open and guided me on top of her while our lips interlocked. She had on these bright pink panties with red hearts all over them. Something was going on with my penis. It was growing while it rubbed up against her panties. She began to moan and grabbed one of my hands. She put it down her panties. I felt some sort of wet slimy pubic hair with a slit in the middle.Just as I was trying to figure out how to put a finger in her the door swung open and it was sister Nasty!We both jumped up off the floor but it was too late. She had seen what we were doing."Sinners Sinners Sinners! Now you two are in some serious trouble! Lets go! The both of you! Absolutely disgusting, both of you should be ashamed. Just think what your parents will say when they find out!" she marched us out of there and up to the head nun’s office. The head nun was feared. Her name was sister Bella!Some of the guys called her Sister Hella!Sister Nancy explained to her what had happened and left the office. Sister Bella pulled out her ruler and yelled…"Let me see both your hands now!"We put our hands on her cold desk and she began smacking both our hands with a great force that shot waves of pain all through me. Darla began crying but I tried to be brave. She smacked us about 15 times and got on the phone to our mothers."Both of you are to be suspended for 8 days! And you will both come to the church each day when you are not in school and clean it from head to toe so father John can give his sermons in a clean chapel!""Yes Sister Bella," we both muttered.Darla’s mom showed up first. She looked Darla in the face and slapped her."No daughter of mine is going to be a fornicating slut! Get in the car Darla!" Darla ran off crying.I sat there with sister Bella across from me. She glared at me with this weird smirk."So? You little monster, you like to touch girls do you?"I didn’t no what to say so I said nothing."Come over here to me for a minute now boy!: she demanded.I went and stood next to her and she grabbed my hand and put it on her breast."How does that feel you sick little sinner!" she asked.I was stunned. I just stood there frozen. She made my hand caress her old saggy tit."Lets see how you like the feel of this!" she yelled, grabbing my hand and sticking it up her skirt. She forced my hand to rub her big bloated pussy. She began moaning this old lady in heat scary moan."What’s a matter boy? I thought you liked this sort of thing!"We heard footsteps coming up the steps and she quickly removed my hand and told me to go sit back down.It was my mom. My mom apologized to the sister for what a sick boy I was and promised her it would never happen again.My mother scolded me the entire drive home, saying how I had disappointed her and the nuns and what an angel that nun Bella was. How she didn’t understand how she could have given birth to the anti Christ himself. Me! She kept going on about what a wonderful holy person Sista Bella was! I said nothing.Later that night I sat on the couch next to my dad."I heard you have been a very naughty boy!" he yelled at me, bursting out into some half drunken British laughter."So, tell me? Was it worth it son? Is this girl pretty?" he asked."Yeah Dad, she is the best looking girl in my class.""Well good for you son, good for you, don’t let them nuns bring you down and your mother will get over it."My dad was never nice to me. I felt really good that he said that to me. I smiled at him."Thanks Dad."He buried his head back in the newspaper and winked at me.Darla’s mother ended up taking her out of that school and made her go to some private all girls school 100 miles away. I never saw her again and had no idea how to get a hold of her. She was now just a dream. Booger Eater was caught with Sister Bella the next year in some sort of sexual misconduct that Sister Nancy had walked in on. Now Sister Nancy became head Nun and sister Bella waited to go to trial. She was looking at some serious prison time and it was the biggest story to ever hit that lame town.Booger Eater went on to become some multi billionaire computer genius years and years later. The school burnt down in some sort of arson ten years later and they decided not to rebuild it. Sometimes I drive by where it use to stand and wonder where that Darla girl is now a days.
Homeless Alien Haywireby nrmI kept seeing glowing space crafts up in the sky following me.I sped out of the driveway with my bashed apart car. The entire back end looked like I had just been rear-ended because of a drunken Christmas Eve where I was driving about 90 to go score and lost control, ended up spinning out about 4 times into a ditch, other cars had pulled over to call the cops and stare at me. Some how I had managed to finally rev it out of the ditch, but in doing so, the ditch ripped off most of the back end and bumper and parts of the side of the car. I had two flat tires and pulled into my driveway and hid it in the garage. I saw alien spacecrafts in the sky that night. Three of them. Paranoid at any time the police would be pulling up and taking me to jail. It was my dead fathers car, which he loved.Some 1997 shitty old ford escort with over 100 thousand miles on it. He had a brand new 2005 black Mustang parked in the garage that he never drove. He just demanded that I wash it on weekends. It was his baby not to be touched or driven by anyone except on a rare occasion when he was drunk enough; he’d rev up that powerful engine in the garage and go speeding around the block with it, like he was some race car driver. He never invited me to go on these drives. I always figured it was his trip. He worked his ass off his entire life for his family and never spent a dime on himself till he bought this mustang a few years before he died.My Dad didn’t believe in oil changes. He took some sort of pride in the fact the escort had never had an oil change. It was the same thing about dentists. He was from England and that rumor about the British not caring about their teeth is true. He took pride in never going to the dentist until his major front tooth fell out one night when he was drunk eating a steak. Now he looked like some crazed toothless mad scientist. Even he realized he could not teach his rich college students looking like hillbilly backwoods Joe.He got it glued back on several times. But it would always fall off again at the dinner table while he crunched into one of mom’s tacos or chicken casserole."Fuking bloody shit!" he would scream, glaring at me, like I had something to do with his misfortunes. I’d stand up and leave the dinner table and go drink by myself. I knew how to avoid him when he was about to blow his top. I had been practicing and watching him for the last 33 years out of fear.There was only one time that I ever fought back when he was trying to beat me or freak out on me.It had just happened about 3 months ago.He was loaded and spilt an entire bottle of wine in the laundry room, he was down on all fours trying to clean up the glass but he didn’t seem to know how to. He had a PHD in physics and was a respected professor with thousands of publications in fancy science journals.But he didn’t know how to use a microwave or a broom and pan or mop. He didn’t know how to wash his dishes or do his own laundry. He relied on my mom for that stuff.I had been drinking as well on this day. Like father like son I guess. I walked into the laundry room."What happened dad? Need some help?’ I asked."Fuk you ! You bloody shithead! Go fuk off! I spilt some wine! Can’t you see!"I kept my cool and walked away from him and went and hid above his garage where I had my own room. I drank a shitload more and heard my mom pull back into the driveway in the jaguar he had bought her.After a few more hours, when I thought it was safe. When I thought they had both gone to bed. I went over there to eat some food.I was pretty drunk and accidentally dropped a bottle of beer from the fridge that went crashing to the kitchen floor with a loud bang!Fuk!I knew I had to get out of there right away. I was just turning off the laundry room light when my mother was standing there and flipped the lights back on! She had this vulgar filled angry expression on her face with sleepless eyes."You arsehole! What have you done now!" she screamed at me, in her British accent."Mom, I accidentally dropped something out of the fridge, I cleaned it up and am leaving now, im sorry.""Your father told me how you broke a bottle of our wine all over the laundry room floor and refused to help him clean it up!" she screamed at me.That drunken motherfuker went and told her some huge lie just so he didn’t feel guilty! I couldn’t believe it!"What the fuk are you talking about! What did he tell you! I didn’t drop any wine! And I tried to ask him if he needed help cleaning his mess!""Sure you did! You no good drunken drugged out liar!" she screamed at me."Mom! Can you hear me! Can you listen for once! I Did not do anything! He is a drunken crazy liar with mental problems!"That’s when dad came running into the laundry room in his silly looking purple Speedo type underwear. His weird bole-legged skinny chicken legs filled with ape like hair, which he had passed on to me as well. His insane white scientific balding hair sticking up all over the top of his angry head. His gigantic red veiny alcoholic nose glowing with fire."Don’t you talk to your mother like that you bloody fuking no good free loading worthless piece of shit!"He screamed at me, coming at me.I sort of blacked out or something snapped inside me. I was very drunk myself. I didn’t want any violence or arguments or un needed confrontations. I was a non-violent peace-loving drunk for the most part. But they had got me in a corner. A corner of lies told by my father. I was being yelled at and called names for something I had nothing to do with…Next thing I know my fist connected with the old mans nose and face. As hard as I could swing. 33 years of frustration towards him in that punch.His old drunken body flew backwards and he hit the floor with some stunned look on his face that I had never seen in 33 years. What happened next is up for speculation.I seem to remember yelling at him…"Stay down old man! Just stay down!"That’s all I remember.But according to my mom……. the next day she called my sisters in California and said that I attacked him for no reason. That I knocked him down and jumped on him and began swinging non-stop punches at his face. She claims she tried to pull me off him but that I turned around and my eyes were not mine. She claims that my brown eyes were pure red with anger! And that I was yelling crazy shit in some evil voice in some other language that she thought sounded French. I don’t know any other languages and I don’t remember attacking him anymore than that one punch.Either way. I went to work at my low paying bookstore job the next morning. It was all I could think about all day. Was the night before. I kept going over and over it in my head trying to figure out what I had done wrong to them.I got home and headed straight to my apartment room above the garage hoping to avoid them both.There was this note taped to my front door written by my mother.I grabbed it off the door and read it."Dear Roscoe,Your father and me don’t feel safe with you living here. We want you to pack your things and get out. You had no right to attack your father like that. There is no telling what you might do next. We both know that you are on drugs all the time and your behavior is erratic and unpredictable. We paid for your college education for years and years and you never accomplished anything. If you have no where to go? That is not me or your fathers problem: we are no longer going to help you out with bills or in any other way. We can’t believe you attacked your father like that last night after all we have done for you and all your problems in life! You are an un grateful dangerous person that needs to either go to rehab or check into a mental hospital. Please have all your stuff moved out by tonight. And you cannot take our car you use for your job! Leave the keys outside in driveway. We have changed the locks on our doors and if you are not gone by the morning we will call the police on you and have you arrested. Call one of your drug buddies for a ride, because you better leave the car or we will report it stolen.!"Love MomI felt sick to my stomach after reading it. I felt so unwelcome in my own garage apartment as I turned the key to get in. My cat was standing there to greet me with a friendly concerned meow. Sometimes I think animals know what’s going on with humans. They can sense it.I sat on the couch in silence staring at the walls. My cat kept trying to comfort me but I was in no mood.I was more concerned about his fate than my own. What was he suppose to do?I started packing my shit up into big black hefty bags with tears pouring down my face. I had nowhere to go. I only had a few friends, and they weren’t even really friends, more like drug dealers. I had no money and no plan.I grabbed my cell phone, which they paid for as well and tried to dial a number…… It said, "Your account is no longer valid with Sprint. Thank you. Now your call will end."They even killed my cell phone. I was fuked now.I felt awful about everything and tried to figure out why my Dad would have done this to me.Everything pretty much turned to anger after a few hours.I had no way of carrying all my stupid stuff around in hefty bags.I grabbed my cat, looked him in the eyes…."I’m gone buddy, I love you and wish you the best."He let out this worried meow as I headed to the door.I walked out of the neighborhood still weeping. I got to the freeway and hopped some fence. I started trying to hitch hike for the first time in my life. I thought about calling my x girlfriend but I had no money for even a pay phone. Plus she was with another man now and wanted nothing to do with me. That restraining order made that perfectly clear.For hours I stood there like some freak with my thumb stuck out. All people did was speed by and give me dirty looks. One car full of frat boys screamed at me…"Faggot tramp! Get a life!" a beer bottle was thrown at my head in fast forward motion. It missed me. I wished it would have hit me and knocked me out so I didn’t have to try and think anymore. Just as I was about to give up hitch hiking this truck full of Mexicans pulled over. Three in the front. 8 to 9 in the back.One guy in the back yelled something in Spanish at me."I don’t speak Spanish!" I yelled back.They all motioned for me to hop in the back with them so I did and the driver sped off down the freeway.I was all squished up next to two of them near the trucks tailgate as the Texas wind blew all our hair out of control.They spoke among themselves in Spanish, passing a forty ouncer of beer around between them and a big jug of tequila. I just stared at all of them wishing I knew Spanish. The guys up front handed us out a smoldering joint that got passed around. That’s one word I knew."Mota!" I screamed, while taking a huge hit off it. They all laughed and said…"Mota! Gringo mota! See. See! Es loco!"I had no idea where these guys were headed and I didn’t really care. I was just glad I wasn’t standing on that freeway corner anymore. The weed they had tasted like some swaggy shit. It made me cough like crazy but gave me a much-needed buzz.The driver seemed to head north for a long time before cutting down some backwoods farm road to head west.It got dark out. For some reason I felt sort of happy just sitting there half stoned with these guys riding across texas on a beautiful night. I tried to block out all my bad thoughts. I could do it when I had to.I think we might be going to Waco. But I wasn’t sure.I had been to Waco a few times as a trucker. Wasn’t much to do or see there. Only thing that ever seemed to happen there was all that David koresh shit."Gringo es Stupido! See?!" one of the Mexicans sitting next to me suddenly yelled while elbowing me in the ribs."What! " I screamed at him."Puto Gringo es Stupido see?!" he yelled again, laughing with these yellow broken teeth, elbowing me in the ribs again.I looked around at all the other Mexicans in the back of the truck and they all started laughing at me, yelling shit at me in Spanish!I could see why they hated white men but I had never done anything to them or their race. I started feeling like a cornered wounded animal as that fuker elbowed me again in the ribs and they all laughed at me, the gringo.I grabbed him by his throat and punched him in the face. His head flew backwards out the tailgate and I quickly grabbed his neck and started choking him while making sure his head stayed out the back of the truck.A few of the others in the back of truck started freaking out and yelling. One tried to stand up and come help his friend but the wind just blew him back on his ass. The driver finally saw what was going on and pulled into some gas station out in the middle of no where.When the truck stopped it was chaos! They all started yelling at me in Spanish as I continued to punch that one dude in the face that had started everything. A few of them grabbed me off him, and swung my body out of the truck.About 4 of them surrounded me, cursing at me in rapid Spanish. I stood there with my fists up like I knew how to fight or something.They were all yelling among themselves about what they should do when the driver revved up the engine. They all jumped into the back of the truck and sped off out of the gravel dirt gas station. Pebbles, rocks and dirt flying everywhere.I heard some huge engine explosion just as they were about to get back on the main road. Smoke came pouring out of their truck and they pulled over about 500 feet away.I sat on a bench in front of the gas station and lit a cigarette, one of my last ones. I mumbled and cursed to myself watching them all try and work on the truck in the dark distance. Some pregnant white trash young looking girl who worked in the gas station came outside and lit a smoke."What the hell are those wetbacks doing anyway?" she asked me."I don’t know. For all I care they can all rot with their broken down pile of crap!""Ha! Yeah man, fuk em, they come to our country and take all the jobs and get more free shit than us! And what about all them dam niggars with their dam niglets getting welfare invading our great state!" she yelled.Oh Shit, I thought. I have the grand female wizard of the klu klux klan talking to me."I don’t know about all that racist shit lady!" I told her.Now I was even more aggravated. This half toothless trailer trash pregnant brainwashed retard out in the middle of nowhere working gas station redneck was bellowing out her racist ignorant shit into the night air. I didn’t want to deal with her or the Mexicans.I thought of my cat and the comfort of my apartment above the garage.Suddenly there was some kind of struggle between two of the Mexicans. They started fighting each other in the distance. Some sort of power struggle I figured.They tackled each other out into the freeway right in front of a state trooper. He pulled over and him and his partner drew there guns and made them all get on the ground."Man oh man, some excitement for a change in this dag naggot town! Yeeee hawwww!"the racist pregnant hick girl yelled, pulling out a big piece of gum, chewing on it, blowing a bubble, looking at me, laughing some sort of inbred laugh, and heading back into her gas station. I looked in there at her and saw her snorting what looked like lines of yellowish meth off the counter as she stared up at the fuzzy TV. It was that old show green acres playing. The racist girl sat on some stool and began laughing like crazy at the TV.I kept looking down the road to see what was going on with the Mexicans. Eventually all these border patrol immigration officers pulled up in white vans and some huge bus. They loaded all the Mexicans onto the bus and drove off. The cops sat for about 15 more minutes making me paranoid and sped off with lights flashing.I started weeping. Laid my head into my lap and pulled my sweatshirt hood up around my dumb face.I went inside the gas station while that ugly bitch was taking a piss in the bathroom, and I stole 35 cents out of the penny jar that was upfront.I went outside to the payphone and tried dialing my parent’s number. A voice came on saying."The number you are trying to reach has been changed with no forwarding new number. Thank you. Goodbye."I sat on the bench trying to come up with a plan.I stared down the road at those Mexicans abandoned truck.Maybe I could fix that thing? Maybe I could fix it and jump-start it. Drive out of this 30 people population weird town and start a new life wherever the road takes me.I started walking towards the broken down truck.That racist white trash chick came out of the gas station and started yelling at me.."Hey Arian brother! Where you going? What you gonna do!"I just looked at her puzzled and didn’t say anything, kept walking towards that truck.I started fuking around with different things under the hood that I had remembered from 20 years ago in high school auto class. First I figured I better see if I remember how to hot wire a car. I use to be real good at it. Back in my Michigan junkie days I’d steal cars for a living so that I could always have a fix. Never got caught once.I put all the wires together after prying the steering wheel open with a crow bar I found under the seat. Connected them all the way they should go.. But now I had to figure out what was wrong with this truck. I discovered in the darkness with grease all over my hands and face that a simple hose that ran from the engine to the rest of some vital components under the hood was not attached anymore.I found some duck tape and rigged it back up. Just as I was starting up the truck this monster truck pulled behind me with bright lights on.I couldn’t see anything with the bright lights. Finally I saw the outline of some creepy looking giant dude in a cowboy hat come walking towards me. Someone in his truck must have jumped in the drivers seat and was revving the engine so that smoke was bellowing out everywhere and it made it harder to see.I lit a smoke and looked for a better weapon other than the crow bar. I found nothing.His massive big head was now at the driver’s side window. He was covered in scars from a case of the worst acne I had ever seen. His face like a pot holed map of science fiction monsters. He had a big wad of chewing tobacco in his mouth. His eyeballs sort of jerked around in circles like he had been up on meth for weeks. He was tall. Maybe six foot eight. A true Ogre like specimen that should be in some circus freak show.. A monster like missing link bread on barbecued cow ass, pig shit, hey & corn soup, childhood rape, animal humping, and lots of hunting deer and any other animal that dared to breath around him. near his backwoods cabin of fart smelling body odor."My girl in there tells me you had some sort of trouble with some wet backs?""Uhhhh, no, not really dude, its all taken care of now.""What’s a matter? A fellow white man can’t look out for a fellow Arian brother?" he asked, spitting a huge wad of chew out."I aint an Arian brother, and maybe you should just mind your own business when you see another white man. I got shit under control here, ambassador dumb shit." I said, regretting it right after it rolled off my tongue.He spat into the back of the truck."Well you see Mr. We don’t take kindly to strangers around here, specially Mexican nigger loving strangers!"He opened the truck door and pulled me out by the hair and started dragging me back to where his monster truck was.."You see man, I was trying to be nice to another white man, but now I’m gonna have to treat you just like one of them wetbacks you came here with boy!"I struggled to get my footing and he’d kick me in my legs every time I tried to stand up.Soon enough we were back at his truck.He lifted my body up to the very top of the inside of the truck and that ugly pregnant girl was sitting there chewing gum and blowing bubbles. Some super inbred looking giant in a cat diesel power grease covered hat sat next to her. His gut was beyond massive. He smiled at me and his teeth looked like that guy ‘jaws’ from the james bond movies. They were all silver, some gold, shiny and sharp looking. He was some sort of freak out of a real life horror movie that I seemed to be starring in."He sure is perdy, preeety, I mean perty, wouldn’t you reckon there billy bob?" he said in some weird ass high pitch voice."I reckon so too," the guy holding me up by my hair answered.Next thing I know billy bob whacked me across the face and I was out. Unconscious.I woke up in the middle of some kind of cow shit or horse manure field with giant marijuana trees and corn all around me sprouting from the field of crap. I was tied to some sort of cross made out of really strong hemp branches. My wrists were tied up as well. bleeding. They had me in some sort of Jesus like pose. I saw big roof staples going through my hands into the giant planks behind them with dried up infected looking blood.Some little albino inbred kid with dark brown buck teeth came running up to me from I don’t know where and started throwing these rocks at my face. He had on these grease ridden over alls and no shoes."Gonna git some yeah, gonna git some yeah, gonna git some yeah," he sang..He had these bizarre freakishly long toenails that wrapped around him in long decaying circles. He started making this weird snorkeling like laughter and he skipped around in a circle throwing these rocks at my face. Blood began gushing from my nose. I think he had broken it.Many more rocks hit my forehead making me dizzy."Stop it you sick little mutant!" I screamed at him.He stopped for some reason and got up real close to me and grabbed where my dick was and tried to rub it for a second and said…"MUTANT! MUTANT! MUTANT~ DADDY CAUGHT A MUTANT!"He ran off laughing. My face dripping with blood. I could hear a freeway way off in the distance. Maybe a mile or so away. I was already planning my escape.The one monster inbred nightmare guy with the silver and gold teeth came up to me next with a big jar of Vaseline. He opened the jar and rubbed it all over his face. He dropped his pants and he had some sort of mutant two-headed purple dick with what looked like 5 extra balls dangling down some saggy brown scrotum.He let out some sort of indescribable animal noise and started stroking his down stairs mix up violently.I heard a woman’s voice."GutShank! Don’t be messing with our new slave yet! Save it for tonight! And put that dam freaky dick of yours away!"Next I heard hillbilly music. Like country mixed with fiddles and shit kicking old time jamboree like twangy guitars of bluegrass behind me.I could smell some sort of meat cooking on a barbecue and a lot of odd laughter like I had never heard in my life. I heard shotguns being blasted away. It sounded like some of them spoke in thick Cajun accents.That sick kid who threw rocks at my face came running up to me with some other kid with a melted off face and giant drooping mouth that had been shot off and put back together in some botched plastic surgery operation. He had a hat on with an American flag on top that spun around in circles."Looky Bojo, he is a MUTANT! We gonna hump his ass later after story time and marshmallows!"Bojo ran up to me and punched me in the nuts. Now I couldn’t breath. They ran off laughing. I just wanted to die at this point. I begged to any God that would listen to let me take a quick bullet to the head.After a while the main guy that had kidnapped me came over to me, about ten feet in front of me and started putting branches and twigs and human bones into what looked like some sort of fire pit."How you doing there buddy? You getting comfortable in your new surroundings!" he yelled at me."Us white men gotta stick together to keep the blood line pure, understand what I’m saying my Arian brother?"I figured maybe if I played along with his racist shit he might let me down. Maybe I could escape."I hear you loud and clear my white brother!"I yelled back at him"Got Dang, we just might teach you all a trick or two anyhows before we chop ya up for stew!"He started doing some sort of backwoods dance and clapping his hands."Yeeee haw! Lets git this party started!" he screamed.The guy with jaws teeth came out in just a blue rainbow striped mini skirt with high heel hooker boots on. He sprayed lighter fluid all over the fire pit and lit it. Next, the chick from the gas station that was pregnant came out naked holding another little inbred albino kids hand. Four other backwoods insane looking naked women with buck tooth jaws came out behind her all holding the hands of deformed little ugly white kids that were grunting like dieing farm animals, all naked except for a few weird American flag spinning hats on their heads.The main freak that had captured me came out naked.Massive body of fat and flubbered folds… all painted up in what looked like white creamy egg shell drippings. He had that kid who was throwing rocks at me and Bojo on dog leashes with spiked collars on them. They moved like rabid dogs on all fours barking and growling.A few more backwoods looking bearded inbred men dressed in chicken feathers and yellow egg drippings with broken off shovels sticking out their assholes gathered around the camp fire and they all formed a circle and started chanting some sort of crazed hillbilly space alien babbling clucking nonsense like language all in harmony, while they skipped around the fire.I just couldn’t wait to die. My fear had turned into shock, which turned into some sort of catatonic psychotic state where I could leave my body, float above it and feel a beautiful peaceful warmth engulf my being until I shot back into my body. When I left my body all these Indian looking shaman magic men kept pulling at me, they had crosses of Jesus in their hands, they wanted me to come with them over to some sunny lake where the water was all red like a sea of blood.All the freaks were dancing around the fire chanting.That Bojo kid with the deformed burnt face and drooping plastic surgery mouth suddenly ran out of the circle and looked up to the moon. Everyone else stopped dancing and stared at Bojo. He seemed to be sniffing the air while he looked up at the sky. His back heels dug into the ground like a dog digging into the earth…"BOWWWWWBOOOOOWWWERRREHEEE!"He bellowed like some sort of spastic crazed animal.And his body dropped to the ground and was still.The others looked at each other in a panic, grunting and speaking in their sick language.The big goofy jaws teeth guy ran up to Bojo and picked his body up and held it towards the sky, letting out this whale like grizzly bear sound. All the others ran up to Bojo as well. They were all crying and stroking Bojo’s body. I had been working all day and night to get my hands loose and now I had one free. I quickly undid my other hand and my body fell to the ground in a massive amount of blood-riddled pain. None of them had noticed I was down. One of the naked backwoods guy with a shovel coming out his ass had laid a shotgun down near the fire with an entire box of bullets. I thought of my cat and my family that told me to get out.I ran as fast as I could, moving like a ghost on speed, and grabbed the shotgun and bullets. I saw those shamans making me invisible for a short period of time so I could escape. I ran off into this massive decaying ganja planted cornfield, making sure the shotgun was loaded.I must have ran a good 300 feet when I dropped down to the ground and got into a sniper like position between the broken corn stalks. My heart had never beaten so fast and my ears were on full alert for any sort of sounds or footsteps coming my way.I heard all those freaks in the distance! They were screaming in that retched horrible language of theirs. They were all yelling the same thing. Over and over.I heard something up in the sky suddenly and I looked up.Sounded like an electrical buzzing loose wire.It was this blinding light in the shape of a flying saucer that broke off into three different crafts and began beaming down closer to their camp. It shot out rays of colorful heat that radiated this red glowing warmth of kindness, that’s the only way I can describe it.With in about 3 minutes the space crafts zipped back up into the night sky and formed into one craft again and vanished in a light of speed up into the stars.I slowly made my way back to the camp. I couldn’t hear anyone.When I got back to the camp there was no one left. No one but Bojo. He was now glowing with some sort of reddish green energy around his head. He was alive again levitating above the fire sitting Indian style. His face was morphing into what looked like Marshal Applewhite as it spun around gaining speed on each spin.I aimed the shotgun at the back of his head and blasted a massive hole through his head.A light of screaming sound and zillions of black particles that looked like angry miniature bees came buzzing out into the sky.His body fell to the ground and began twitching. I went up to it, staring at it, his body started changing different colors and his head caught on fire and he let out this alien like ear screeching animal howl from some other world.I blew another huge bullet hole into his chest and he seemed to be still after that. His body warped into what looked like some baby slimy alien like ball of guck that withered up into a curled fetus and shot up into the sky and was gone.I stood there covered in my blood still holding the shotgun.My eyeballs seemed to shoot around in the top of my skull.I looked up into the sky and started hysterically laughing. I spinned around the fire in circles non-stop blasting off the shotgun into the night air.
　
no more chances
Bynrm

Myron stared at his zitty sleepless face in the mirror. One of his eyes had turned bright red from not sleeping for 7 days. He felt insane. His hands shook uncontrollably. His wife, Samantha walked into the bathroom."What you doing honey? Would you please try and get some sleep? Take my last xanax if you want.""It won’t work. Nothing does anymore." He said with an unstable sounding voice."You are really starting to worry me honey," she said, trying to stroke his arm."Don’t touch me dammit!" he exploded.His wife got in her car and sped off down the street.She was sick of dealing with the freak.Myron walked into his backyard and sat in the sun and began to weep."Fuk this!" he screamed.He went back in his house and began flushing all the drugs down the toilet. He grabbed all his drug pipes and smashed them one by one.When he was done he felt a sense of accomplishment. He forced himself to eat a piece of bread. He lie in bed staring up at the ceiling."I need a dam hobby, a healthy way to kill time." He said to himself.He got on his computer and looked up local ping-pong clubs. As a boy and teen he always loved playing ping-pong. Samantha pulled back up in the driveway.She came barging in and gave him a dirty look."Where’s the shit Myron, I need a bump big time," she said."It’s all gone. All of it. I’m done with all that shit.""What do you mean it’s gone? Where the fuk is it?""I flushed it all down the toilet cause it is nothing but poison that is ruining our lives.""You are fuking kidding me right? Right!""No I’m not. I’m going to start playing ping pong again and maybe join a church.""Oh my God! You really have lost your fuking mind this time! What the fuk are you talking about? Ping Pong? Church? You need some serious mental help Myron! Now give me my share of the dam drugs! I know you couldn’t have flushed it all!""It’s all gone Samantha. You need to stop using as well. That shit is destroying us both.""Speak for yourself Myron! I can function just fine on it!"Samantha slapped Myron in the face and began swinging wild girly punches at him. He just stood there and took it until she was done. She stormed off out of the driveway again in search of a fix.Myron got a bunch of colored markers out and began writing all over the walls.Things like…I am now healed. Now I have seen the light. I will become a ping-pong champion and start my own church. I ask for forgiveness for all my sins. I can now hear the sun voices through the clouds.He went on and on for hours writing all sorts of bizarre things on his walls in different colors.He curled up on the floor when he was done in a fetal position and began sucking his thumb begging God for sleep. Promising he would change.Just as he was about to finally get to sleep, Samantha came storming in the front door wired to the gills."Oh no." Myron muttered.She came into the main room and her mouth dropped open when she saw the writing on the walls."What the hell is this? Do I need to call the mental hospital to come pick you up Myron!""Just leave me alone! I am trying to change my life for the better! Can’t you understand that!""What about my life Myron! What the fuk about my life! For your information we are drug addicts. It’s what we are good at. I don’t give a shit about ping pong and I have no intentions of quitting drugs or joining some church!" she screamed."Then fuk off please, leave me alone. I need to heal.""WHAT? WHAT? WHAT DID YOU SAY?" she yelled, her hands shaking."You heard me, go stay at one of your dope dealers houses or go stay with your mom for a while. Just get away from me. Please."Samantha kicked him in the balls as hard as she could and sped out of the driveway. Myron grabbed his balls trying to breath, rolling around on the floor in agony.He finally got a few hours sleep, which helped his head clear up just enough to feel almost alive again. He managed to eat another piece of bread and sip on some orange juice. He went back to bed and prayed for sleep. He managed to fall asleep for 14 hours. When he awoke he felt like a new man. He drove down to the local gym where they held table tennis matches. He asked some of the people how he could get signed up to play and they gladly helped him.After that he went to a church down the street that he had always wondered about. He wrote down their hours and what time they held services. Next he went to an NA meeting down the street from his house where he shared a little bit of his story with the others.He was feeling much better about himself and his new choices until he pulled back up to his house and saw Samantha’s car in the driveway. A feeling of doom came over him when he saw her car. He walked in and couldn’t find her anywhere."Samantha? Where are you?" he yelled.He found her in the bathroom with a needle stuck in her arm. Her body was lying on the bathroom floor lifeless.Myron picked her body up and began shaking her."Samantha!" he screamed, He ran to the phone to call paramedics. He tried to give her CPR. It was too late. She was dead.The day after her death he sat alone in his house staring at all the writings on the walls. He had brought out every picture he could find of her and had them all laying around him in a circle on the floor.He loaded up another huge bowl of meth and his quivering lips sucked all the smoke out of it. He didn’t understand why he couldn’t just change once and for all.His new ping-pong paddle sat next to him. He called a few rehab centers but just hung up the phone when they started asking him too many personal questions.




the sick one
By nrm

I was at some bar in the middle of Iowa. I had parked my big rig early this day cause all I felt like doing was getting drunk. It was snowing outside and the roads were terrible.I was slugging down whiskey and staring at the bartender lady. With each drink she started looking better and better.She was probably about 100 pounds over weight. I kind of figured she had spurted out several kids in her lifetime. She looked about 50 maybe. She had a real bad frizzy perm with dyed blonde hair. There were a couple rednecks sitting down on the other side of the bar that kept giving me dirty looks. They kept getting louder too the more they drank.The bartender lady was mostly down on their side, chatting them up and giggling away.I looked around the rest of the bar to see if I had any other female options for the night. There was only one other lady in the bar. She weighed about 400 pounds and was sitting by herself drinking and chomping down popcorn in some dark booth in the back.I guzzled a few more drinks and decided to try and go talk to her. When I got closer to her I could see that she had one of those down syndrome faces. I didn’t know retards drank. Fuk it."Hi there, my names Roscoe, mind if I sit with you?"I asked her.She let out this weird hackling laugh like choking sound and popcorn came spraying out of her mouth."Sure you can!" she said.I sat across from her trying to get a good look at her face through my whiskey goggles."So what’s your name?" I asked her."My name is Belinda but my grandparents just call me Bindy." She said.I expected her voice to be more retarded sounding, but it wasn’t all that bad."So you live around here?" I asked her."I’m not aspose to talk to strangers." She informed me, rocking back and forth in her booth."Well we are not strangers anymore. You know my name and I know your name." I said, smiling at her."I go to Disneyland last summer with Gladys!" she blurted out, popcorn spraying all over me."Oh wow, that sounds like fun, who’s Gladys?""She my friend from camp.""Cool" I said."Can I buy you a drink?""Sure you can!" she yelled at me."What are you drinking?" I asked."log island rice tea!""You mean long island ice tea?""Dats what I said silly!"I went up to the bar to get us some fresh drinks."Fuking faggot looking creep." One of the red necks said under his breath to me as the bartender was fetching my drinks. I just pretended I didn’t hear him. I was in no mood for a fight on this night, especially two on one.I sat back down with Belinda but now there was an odd smell wafting around the booth. It smelled like she may have shit her pants, so I just tried to breath through my mouth."My favorite music is the Go Go’s!" she suddenly yelled at me."Ok. That’s great, yeah they have some good songs don’t they?""Fuk you!" she blurted out."Excuse me?" I asked her."Sowwy," she said, with some big goofy grin forming on her face. What teeth she had left were brown and dark yellow."How old are you Belinda?""I’m 43 and a half since last year.""Has anyone ever told you Belinda that you are very pretty?""I’m not a spose to talk to strangers.""You already told me that, but we are not strangers anymore, understand?""OK then!" she yelled."Hey, you know I have some great Go Go’s cds back in my truck. Would you want to come back to my truck and listen to them?""Ok Then!""Alrighty then Belinda, lets get out of here.""Where we going?" she asked."I just told you, now come on, follow me."We walked across the snow-covered street back to the truck stop where I was parked. For a second I had a coherent sobering thought. I questioned what the hell I was doing.What the fuk was wrong with me? I was a very sick man."You drive big truck do you do you do you!" she yelled at me."Why yes I do, it’s right over here."We climbed in my truck and she sat in the passenger seat and just started laughing for no apparent reason."What’s so funny?" I asked her."Me did poo poo in my pants cause of log island rice teas!" she yelled."You silly girl, I thought I smelled something yucky."I turned on the stereo and it was led zeppelin playing."Dis is not duh Go Go’s!" she screamed."I know, but I bet the Go Go’s like led zeppelin, so that makes it ok, right?""OK then!" she screamed."Want to sit on my bed?""OK then!"We sat on my bed and I almost felt like I was going to throw up for a second cause of the horrible shit smell coming from her crapped in pants."Have you ever kissed a man Belinda?""NO! you stupid! Ha!""Can I try and kiss you?""Ok then!"I moved in close to her face and gently started kissing her un responsive lips."Open your mouth up a little more and use your tongue." I coached her."Dat felt icky! Icky!Icky!" she yelled."Lets try it again,"I grabbed her face and started sticking my tongue down her mouth. I started trying to rub her gigantic flubbery pussy area. That’s when she freaked out!She chomped down on my lip, biting part of it off!"You no touch my coochie! You no touch my wee wee! No No No! You a bad bad man! Let me out of truck!""But Belinda, this is what grown ups do." I said, while blood spurted from my lip.She managed to open the door herself and run off into the snow-covered truck stop screaming something about her coochie."Fuk man, what is wrong with me!" I screamed.I passed out into some drunken fog. But at about 3 in the morning I heard some hick screaming at the top of his lungs and pounding on my truck."Git yer ass out here boy! Yee fuking sick fuk! Trying to touch my dam sister were you!"I opened my truck curtains and saw some crazed hick in a big cowboy hat pounding on my truck. Belinda stood behind him."He try and touch my pee pee!""Oh fuk man." I hopped out of my truck."Look dude, calm down, it wasn’t like that, me and Belinda had a few drinks and she got the wrong idea and and.." I stuttered."You sick Fuk!" the crazed redneck yelled at me.He punched me as hard as he could in my face. My head flew backwards violently. He clobbered me again in the back of my head and I fell to the ground. I saw a big pointy cowboy boot coming towards my face and then I blacked out. While I was un conscious he continued to kick me in the ribs and face non-stop until Belinda screamed."No mo Billy No mo Billy! You gonna kill duh bad man!"I woke up in some weird Iowa hospital two days later. I had three broken ribs, a broken jaw, a fractured skull, a broken leg, most of my teeth had been knocked out, and I had some internal stomach bleeding.I suppose I learned my lesson. Now to this day whenever I see a person with that down syndrome face I begin shaking with fear, and I cant look at them without having a full blown panic attack.
by nrmmad man at the windowI was parked at some scary truck stop out in the middle of nowhere land. Somewhere south. I think it was Alabama. I was right on the border of some other state I can’t recall.Some other state where they promote inbreeding.It was a run down shithole of a truck stop that was just a dirt lot with big potholes all over. The only place to park was way in the back. It was dark out and I had been driving for over ten hours. I was tired and hungry.I locked up my truck and walked over to the only greasy diner around. I ordered a hamburger that looked like a pile of greasy crap with uncooked French fries. I kept staring at the skuzzy looking dude in the back cooking it. He kept glaring back at me with hatred.I sat there eating it, watching cockroaches run across the floor and up the walls."What’s the name of this town? Mam?" I asked this crazed looking skeleton like lady who was slumped in the corner of a booth.She opened her mouth but there were no teeth in her mouth."Gula downs slodak fer sho" she answered.Have I stumbled into some twilight zone episode? What the hell kind of weird ass place is this? The quicker I get to sleep and get out of here in the morning, the better.I threw most of the food away. I was walking by another truck and I heard what sounded like sexual pig noises, or goat’s fuking or something. I walked by another truck and the driver had his inside light on. He was just sitting there with this insane look on his face staring at me. Then he waved at me with both hands. I started walking quicker to my truck. I walked by another truck and some voice from the window goes.."Yo yo yo. Hey Yo Yo Yo!"Why cant people just leave me alone. Seriously. What is wrong with these people? I saw another truck with the inside cab light on. It was these two Japanese looking twins, both eating noodles with chopsticks out of some plastic containers.I was almost at my truck when this retched looking run down smelly prostitute (or as truckers call them, lot lizard)Came coughing over towards me mumbling some sort of drunken cracked out gibberish about if I wanted a date or something. I just ignored her and got in my truck and locked the doors. She stood in front of my truck."Fuk you mothafuker!" she screamed at me and flipped me off.I sat in my front seat for a while in the darkness. I noticed these two shady looking guys with bolt cutters messing around the back of some guys trailer. I watched them cut the lock off the back. But for some reason they panicked and ran off without opening the back trailer door.This is the kind of place where I’d feel a lot safer if I had a loaded gun with me.Some real scary looking homeless guy with bugged out eyeballs suddenly appeared at my window, knocking on it. It scared the shit out of me."What!" I screamed at him.He was making some sort of weird hand gestures like he wanted me to roll down the window. Dried up cottage cheese encrusted around the corners of his chapped lips."Get the fuk away from my truck dude!" I yelled at him.I shut my truck curtains and grabbed my knife. I stuck it under my pillow and tried to fall asleep. But now I couldn’t sleep. This place I had stumbled into for the night was starting to creep me out big time. I heard some woman screaming off in the distance out in the woods. Next I could have sworn I heard someone at the back of my truck trailer thumping around and blubbering silly rap songs.After many hours of tossing and turning and hearing weird noises outside I was just about to fall asleep when this loud violent banging on my window shot my head out of bed in a total panic. I grabbed my knife. And again this monstrous pounding on my window. Fuk man, I was scared now. My heart was racing."What the fuk do you want! Me and my wife are trying to sleep in here!" I yelled at whoever was pounding on my window. I figured if they thought I had my wife in here maybe they’d leave me alone.I was frightened to open my window curtain and see who it was. But once again…."Pound! Pound! Pound! Thump Thump Thump!""That’s fuking it!" I tried to inflate my balls, clutching my knife, and I swung the curtain open.It was some insane looking cracked out of his mind black dude. He must have been about six foot seven.Some giant afro. He had blood all over his hands and what looked like bugs crawling around in his fro."Roll down the mothah fuking window white boy!" he demanded."Get the fuk away from my truck!" I yelled, holding my knife up for him to see."I say roll down the mothah fuking window!""I’m about to pull my gun out and blow your brains out you psycho! You got 2 seconds to get away from my truck!"He gave me some insane look and barfed all this orange looking bile all over my window and sprinted off between some other trucks.I was almost in shock. I shut my curtains again and checked to make sure my doors were locked. I just couldn’t believe it. What did he want? My shaky hands reached for my cell phone to call the cops. And sure enough my cell phone was not picking up any reception. This was like some horror movie now. I thought about starting my truck up and driving somewhere else but I looked at the map and there were no other truck stops for the next 100 miles and I had driven all day.I tried to lie down again, but I mostly just kept staring at the clock as hours went by with no sleep. At about 3:30 in the morning it happened again."THUMP THUMP THUMP!" on my window.I thought I was about to have a heart attack. I jumped out of bed and grabbed my knife."I’m gonna have to shoot your ass now! I warned you asshole!" I yelled, trying to sound scary.I flung the curtains open and he wasn’t there. Just as I started to calm down again and try and lie down, he was now thumping on the side of my trailer with what sounded like a sledgehammer."WHY? JUST TELL ME WHY GOD?" I screamed.I tried my cell phone again and it worked! Oh thank God!I dialed 911 and told the lady on the phone what was going on and that I needed some cops to come get this guy."What County are you in sir?" she asked me in this rude tone."I don’t fuking know! I’m at the only truck stop around here for 100 miles in some backwoods fuked up town! Somewhere in Alabama and I’m on the border of some other hillbilly crazed state!""Sir, you need to relax and stop cursing at me or I wont be able to help you.""Ok, fine, but did you hear what I said? Some crazy crack head with blood all over his hands keeps pounding on my truck and telling me to roll down my window!""I understand that sir. What’s the name of the truck stop?" she asked."I don’t know. I don’t think it has a name. Maybe its called the shittiest place on earth truck stop! How does that sound!""Can you see any landmarks around you sir?""Wait, wait, I ate at some greasy diner. I think the place was called Greta’s kitchen or something. Does that help?""Ok sir. I know where you are. I have dispatched a patrol car to come out there. I just need your name and what truck you are in?""My name? What for?" I asked, getting all-paranoid."Sir, do you want our help or not?""Well yeah, but I don’t want to give out my name and tell you what truck I’m in and all that, cant the cops just drive around the back of the truck stop and see if they can get this crazy dude?"I had whiskey bottles in my truck and a few illegal drug type things. I didn’t want any cops questioning me."Ok sir, a patrol car is on it’s way.""Thank you mam."I sat there all paranoid, occasionally peeking out my curtains to see what kind of horrors were out there.I lay in bed staring up at the trucks roof. I started feeling real angry and bummed out that I had not slept. I don’t think the cops ever did come. I never heard any sort of vehicle out there. Luckily that crazy window thumper seems to have gone away. The sun began to rise and I felt a little safer. I opened my curtains and started my truck up on no sleep. I just wanted to get as far away from this place as possible.
　
by nrm

American Family

Simon got home from his construction job, grabbed a cold beer out of the fridge, and sat his fat ass down in his lazy boy. He grabbed the remote and started flipping through the news channels. All the news was still coverage on Michael Jackson’s death."Enough already, he was a child molesting plastic surgery nightmare drug addict! I’m so sick of hearing about this weirdo!" he yelled at the TV.His timid wife was in the kitchen cooking up some tacos for his fat ass. Her hands shook from the 4 different medications she was on."I mean shit! This aint news, what the fuk is going on with North Korea and them nukes! And what about all them sand niggers in Iran? What the hell is going on over there? King of pop my ass. More like the king of bullshit!" Simon yelled at the TV.His wife’s nervous shaking hands mixed up the taco meat. She was on the verge of having her tenth nervous break down."When is supper ready you dumb bitch!""In in in bu bu bu about te te ten minutes honey." She answered."Well fuking hurry up, I work all dam day and you can’t even have supper ready for me when I get home! And grab me another beer woman!"Her shaking hands handed him another beer.Their 40-year-old son who still lived with them came stumbling into the living room, scratching his head like he just woke up. His stained sweats he never changed out of with no underwear underneath. His gross boner always sticking up."Dam boy, when are you gonna get a job and get your shit together? What do you do all day long besides jerk off and sleep?""Daddy, I told you I’m reapplying for disability unemployment. I can’t work. You know what the doctors say about me. I got mental problems. That’s why im on medication.""The entire world has mental problems boy, but everyone still works for a living. You lousy sack of shit.""My wife is a fuking mental case. My son is a dam retard. All the news ever talks about is some dead freak that liked to touch little boys. The dam country elected a half-breed to be president. What the hell is this world coming to?""Obama is a very smart man Daddy! You shouldn’t be so racist. Obama is going to save the world from war Daddy!""Shut up retard." Simon said, farting.The overweight goofy looking son went into the kitchen."Mommy, why is Daddy so mean all the time?" he asked her."He is is is you you your fa fa fa fa father, he lo lo loves uh uh uh us."They all sat down at the dinner table. The son began shoving two tacos at a time down his throat. Sour cream all over his face. Simon sat there waffling down tacos while slugging more beer and farting up a storm. The wife just sort of picked at her salad with trembling hands, mumbling stutters to herself."One of these days, I’m just gonna decide I don’t feel like working either. I’m gonna walk out of here on the both of you! And then where would you losers be!" Simon said, letting out a huge belch and fart at the same time."OOOPS, think that one is running down my dam leg.""Did you do my dang laundry woman? I need a clean pair of bridges.""Yea yea yes. I di di di did lau lau lau landry.""Der duh duh der der duh! Well don’t just sit there woman, go get me a clean pair of bridges, cause I just shit in these ones.""Daddy! Why you gotta always shit yourself at the dinner table?""Shut up retard, it’s my dam house. I pay the bills, I’ll shit where ever I please."The 300-pound goofy smelly son ran off into his room to play with his star wars action figures and pick his ears and nose while rubbing his dick.Simon took off his shit in underwear at the dinner table and threw them at his wife’s face."Eat some of that woman! Might get rid of all that retarded stuttering your always doing."The wife ran off into her room in tears, her entire body going into some sort of crazed shivering panic attack.Simon sat back in his lazy boy and continued slamming beers and yelling at the TV. He looked out his backyard window at the dead lawn. There were auto parts all over, useless tires, broken down microwaves and rats running around."Boy! Get your fat ass back out here now!" Simon screamed.His son came waddling out rubbing his dick with a huge booger hanging from his nose, holding one of his toys."Tomorrow when I’m at work, I want you and your crazy mother to clean up that dam backyard! Understand me!""I don’t wana do that daddy. I don’t wana."Simon stood up. Drunk as ever. He slapped his son across the face and punched him in his fat gut."I didn’t ask you if you wanted to do it. I told you your dam well gonna do it!"His obese son dropped to the floor and began gasping for breath as tears came streaming down his face.The wife came out of her room holding a kitchen knife in her trembling hands."Neh neh no muh muh muh more. Ne ne ne never hee hee hee hit him a a a gain.""What the hell you doing with that knife woman?" Simon asked, grabbing it off her, and smacking her across the face.Simon suddenly got an intense pain in his heart. He clutched his chest, slumping back in his lazy boy."Oh Jesus, OH shit. I’m having another heart attack. Don’t just lay there on the floor you morons! Call 911!"His wife ran to the phone and picked it up. But the Son grabbed it out of her hands and hung it back up."No mommy, not this time. NO!"Their tearful eyes looked at each other. They embraced in a long hug. Simon lie on his lazy boy in a massive amount of pain. clutching his chest."What the fuk you idiots doing in there? Help me!"After about 15 minutes Simon was silent. Mother and son stood there staring at his lifeless body."What do we do now mommy?" the son asked.


By nrm

That Woman



Gina awoke in her blood-splattered motel 6 to find laying next to her the bloated dead body of another john she must have killed while in one of her blackouts. She cycled through her mind to try and remember what had happened while she wiped off streams of diarrhea from her face & lips. Flashbacks of torture, sex, poop eating, came racing back to her in movie like images inside her fuked up head. She tried to block it out. Just block it all out like she had done with all her problems through most of her life.The stench in the crappy little motel room was too much for her nostrils to handle. She let out a gagging throat slit cow gargling snarling pig like sound, putting her hand to her mouth, trying to hold it back. Projectile vomit came shooting through the cracks in her fingers until she sprayed the entire wall with 3 pounds of yellowish orange shit colored vomit chunks that slipped down the wall in slow motion color…. like some genius rejected art masterpiece of stomach juiced slime.Gina went outside to the trunk of her car. She brought in a large duffle bag. Inside the duffle bag were hacks saws, razor sharp sling blades, ropes, ky jelly, massive hunting knives and a small chain saw. She started on his fat stubby left leg with a hacksaw. She began digging it into his flesh as blood spurted everywhere. When she hit the bone she began feverishly sawing as hard as her 100-pound frame could. Her thin straw like meth riddled arms; sweat dripping down her crazed blue eyes to her constantly moving jaw.She had shot the last of her tweak right before the body chopping began. Her pupils huge with the job at hand. She could not leave any evidence. Not like last time. Last time she was too sloppy and the pigs were on to her. Fireworks kept going off outside for the fourth of July. Every time she heard an exploding firework, a paranoid feeling would come over her and she would rush to the window, peeking out the blinds, looking up at the colorful humid sky.She had most of his body in plastic black garbage bags after a few hours of work. All that was left was his torso and his pale blue face. Blood dripping down one side of his open dry lips.The john’s eyes still wide open frozen in some sort of shock.Gina looked into his eyes, grabbed his hair and began rubbing her bloody naked breasts into the dead mans face as she wept."Oh god, oh god, oh god, I can see the light of the future through each of my killings, and I know lord, I just know, I’m doing your requested work…" she sobbed, sticking one of her hard nipples into the dead johns open mouth.She hacked his head off next and loaded that into a cooler full of ice and put his torso into another black garbage bag and tied it up. Gina began loading the body parts into the trunk of her shitty car. The summer sun beat down unforgiving. It was about 115 out this day. The kind of sticky hot weather where people don’t want to leave their air-conditioned apartments. Where you step outside for 5 minutes and your shirt is soaking wet, glued to your hot body. The world was melting. The world was getting hotter each year.Gina pulled out onto the main avenue, her hands trembling, she babbled off old catholic prayers to herself she had learned while a catholic schoolgirl 20 years ago.As luck would have it a fuking state trooper pulled out of a street corner right behind her. Tail gaiting her. She reached under her seat for her loaded 357 just incase the dumb cop decided to pull her over. It wouldn’t be the first cop she had to kill. Her tweaking eyes darted back and forth in the rear view mirror as she watched her speed and tried to drive as straight as she could. After a few blocks the dumb ignorant hillbilly cop pulled off down another drug infested side road to go fuk with some black poverty ridden crack dealers who were just trying to make an honest living.Gina scratched her sweaty STD infested crotch and hit the freeway. She got off on an old farm road and pulled up to an empty ghost like Catholic Church out in the boonies where the priest who use to molest her growing up still worked and gave Sunday mass.She worked quickly, grabbing the hefty bags from her trunk and dumping them on the front door step of the church until her trunk was empty. Gina then grabbed john’s head from her ice cooler. She wrote a note on pink paper that read. "Oh father, oh holy one? I have killed another one just for you!"She stapled the note to his bleeding forehead and impaled the head through an iron pole near the steps of the old church.She got back in her car and burned rubber out of there. Gina drove to the truck stop up in the Mountains. She was late for her shift. She was a stripper at the small dinky strip club behind the truck stop called, ‘A Trucker’s paradise.’She lit a smoke as she pulled up. She stared at all the slimy truckers who were parked at the truck stop. She stared at their purring engines & all the logos and different colors of their trucks.She hated truckers. They were the scum of the earth as far as she was concerned. Nothing but southern hillbilly uneducated perverted animals with no morals or conscious. She doubted most of them could even read. Gina despised men, but she hated truckers the most. With their smelly fat bodies drunk every night trying to shove dollar bills down her thong while they ‘yee hawed!’ at the moon and tried their hardest to cheat on their toothless white trash wives far away in some other state.Gina walked to the front doors of her stripper job. A skinny weird looking dude with an offset somewhat deformed face was taking the final drag off his cigarette outside the strip club.Gina didn’t think he was a trucker. He didn’t look like the average trucker. Something about the way his greasy half long black hair covered one side of his face sort of intrigued her.The odd hunched over man walked to the front door and opened it for Gina, not saying a word, just sort of staring into her eyes and giving her a crooked smirk.His name was Roscoe. Roscoe Martini to be exact.And he was a trucker, not a true trucker at heart, but he was a traveler, a soul-wandering traveler of the United States map. To him life was one big adventure each day. He was really just sort of a fuk up in life who some how had the cracked out idea one day to become a truck driver. 3 months after that thought he was driving his companies 200 thousand dollar big rig down the freeways of America exploring places he had only heard of. He only drove his big rig as much as he had to so they wouldn’t fire him. He had always been a slacker no matter what kind of work he was doing. The less work the better life is was his philosophy. Most days after a few hours driving, maybe five or 7 tops, he would stop in some new town, some new state, some new city, with new people, and he’d find a bar and do what he did. He mostly liked to watch other humans. He was always taking mental notes in his head about people for later on when he pounded away on a keyboard in the back of his dark lonely truck at night as whiskey filled his blood."Thanks," she said, staring into his face.He lifted his arms to the air and said.."The world is yours my beautiful queen."She sort of gave an uncomfortable laugh and went into her dressing room to get into her stripper outfit and snort some more meth or hopefully some coke. All the other strippers would usually have something when Gina was running low. Share and share a like. It was a small town. Tight nit crew of people that all seemed to look out for one another. Everybody knew everybody’s business. They didn’t like out of towner’s poking around. Even the cops in this town were always high as fuk on methamphetimines. Shit. 95 percent of the town was on some sort of drug. Either stoned on super hydro weed, or on uppers, or drunk on pills. The town was like their own little twilight zone utopia of drug abuse hidden and kept somewhat secret from the rest of the world. It was sort of a backwoods type place at first glance, up in the green lush mountains. A real creepy vibe. That was their main rule. Only deal with locals and keep your mouth shut about the secrets of the town.Gina snorted three gigantic lines of meth up her rotting nose, she had no time to try and mess with a needle to find a vein.Her sleazy heavy industrial song came on and some creepy looking DJ with a slick 70’s fu man chu who was wearing a polyester jump suit slurred into the microphone…"Lets give a warm welcome all you truckers.. To Crystal!"That was Gina’s stripper name..She came out and started doing this sexy cat like dance around the stage rubbing her tits and her pussy while she slid up and down the pole, her mind wanting nothing but these scum bags money.Every time she looked at a man she imagined what it would be like to kill him and chop him up and make pancakes out of his intestines.That odd looking dude, who always looked out of place where ever he went, Roscoe, was sitting right up front near the stage with a handful of one dollar bills, and fives, and tens. Roscoe had just got paid the day before. He was bi polar. They use to try and tell him he was schizophrenic too, but he knew he wasn’t. He felt great with out his meds. Whenever he had money he would spend it all right away in some drunken drugged out daze. He could never save money. Never. Many times he’d wake up the next day all hung over and puking promising himself he’d quit drinking. He’d open his wallet and it would be empty and he would begin to panic and cry. Being broke for another two weeks. Living off ramen and sometimes running out of truck stop restaurants with out paying the bill.Roscoe would realize that if he didn’t hurry up the load he was pulling in his trailer would never make it on time to its weird back woods town. Always in some weird state out in the middle of nowhere. Sometimes he would drive through these rinky-dink little towns and wonder how people could end up there and why they would stay. Many times he was an unwelcomed guest at the local bar. Looking into his whisky glass. Never attempting to speak to any of the locals who glared back at him wondering if he was an outer space alien. He’d drive down the freeway sometimes in the slow lane puking into a trash can or dry heaving for miles and miles when he was hungover, swerving all over the lanes as other truckers talked shit to him over the CB.Most days he’d listen to music for hours & hours as he traveled through many state lines.For some reason this Roscoe guy thought life was one big crazy comedy mixed with a never-ending nightmare. He saw himself as living in some sort of movie. He thought he was the star actor in this imaginary movie that only he had a ticket for.Roscoe would also carry on long conversations with him self sometimes while driving. Sometimes up to four or 7 different characters from his head would all start carrying on a conversation in different voices out loud. Sometimes he would record these conversations on his mini tape recorder. But he was always too scared to listen to them later unless he was shit face wasted on booze or drugs.Ok, back to the strip club. So Gina came right up to Roscoe’s weird off set drunken face and began breathing into his ears getting him all hot and horny. He shoved bills down her thong as some huge security guard stood next to Roscoe eyeing him. Waiting for him to make one bad move so he could throw him out. Roscoe had been thrown out of too many strip clubs as of late, and too many bars.. He made sure he didn’t touch her in anyway. Just carefully put the bills down her thong when she opened it."Thanks baby, I think I love you, care for a couch dance?" Crystal whispered in Roscoe’s ear.Roscoe looked deep into her pale blue eyes and suddenly he saw. Images of Gina killing men, chopping them up, drinking their blood, screaming at the night sky…Roscoe had that third eye thing. Ever since he was young. He had visions and could see into people’s true souls.His hands began shaking, while Gina flaunted her big gapping vaginal shaved hole in front of his eyes.Roscoe stood up, and quickly went to sit at the bar, away from her.His hands were shaking as he ordered another double cranberry and vodka."You ok sweet thang? Looks like you just seen a ghost?"this mullet headed bartender lady asked with a huge protruding stretch marked pregnant gut."Drink please, drink please." Roscoe managed to stutter, his hands and legs shaking like crazy.He slugged down his drink. He felt her presence behind him, looking into the back of his head.He turned around and stared at Gina. More visions came of chaos, screaming animals locked in a barb wire fence starving, a shed where she kept human body parts, some sort of sewing machine where she made skin suits. Hefty bags stuffed with body parts,"Still think I’m a beauty queen Mr.? And how bout that couch dance?" She said, grinding her jaw all over the place, slowly reaching out and stroking Roscoe’s skinny pale arm.Roscoe didn’t respond. He turned away from her and ordered 4 shots of tequila. Guzzling down 2 quickly. Gina sat next to him, somewhat fascinated with a man for the first time in 15 years.She stared at him as his shaky hands reached for another shot."What’s a matter?" cant you speak? You a deaf mute or what!" Gina bellowed out, burping..Roscoe looked her straight in the eyes, lit a cig for her, and slid the final shot over to her, not saying a word, just sort of giving her another crooked smirk.That’s when a huge fight broke out between that gigantic black security guard and some loud mouth beer bellied trucker in over alls. They tackled each other across the floor into all the stools, and knocked Roscoe flying off his stool. Somehow the grizzly adams looking white trash trucker ended up on top of the security guard."Fuk wit me ya dam niggah! Come on boy! I’ll slap the living shit out of ya black ass!" the trucker yelled, while his hands rained down punches on the squirming security guard.Gina grabbed her stool, and casually walked over to where they were fighting. She clobbered it over the hillbilly’s head. There was this loud cracking sound that could be heard over the music like a gunshot. The big greasy drunken truckers body went limp and he went face first into the floor.Roscoe assumed the guy was dead. Blood began pouring out of the huge hole on the top of his head and that’s when polyester DJ man killed the music.One albino black stripper who looked like she had been living off meth and cigarettes for the last ten years let out this horrid ear-screeching scream.Most of the horny drunken truckers decided to get the fuk out of there and go pass out in their trucks. Truckers don’t like cops. And sure enough that ugly pregnant bartender was on the phone calling 911 with some putrid frown on her eroding meth face of acne.The big goofy black security guard came up to Gina."Danks, I owe doos one." I think he meant to say thanks but had some kind of clef pallet going on or something strange.Besides the strippers running around freaking out, there was only Roscoe left in the place and one other dork. He looked like one of those clean cut non-drinking no drug taking professional type of trucker. One of those guys who takes his job way to seriously, like he is some huge asset to society. He was busy putting his shirt underneath the grizzly Adams dudes bleeding melon. I took a closer look at the guys bleeding head and Roscoe could see little particles of brain matter starting to throb out of his cracked open skull.Gina just stood there calm as could be smoking her cigarette.She came right up to Roscoe’s face, and more images of her secret life began flashing before him like some nightmarish slide show."How bout that couch dance now?" she whispered into his ear in a real slow sexy voice. She stuck her tongue down his ear before she pulled away. He instantly got a hard on."Sure. Why not?"She grabbed his hand and they walked off into some dark corner of the place where they had these red silky couches and dimly lit strobe lights on the ceiling.The other strippers, security man, dork trucker, all stood around the bar arguing about what they were going to tell the cops. Gina wasted no time getting on top of Roscoe and gyrating her vaginal muscles into his hard on while she rubbed her milk white breasts into his weird drunken face.She turned around and stuck her perfectly formed ass a few inches from his nose and Roscoe took in a deep smell through his nostrils. Gina smelled like honey strawberries mixed with dank stinky meth sweat.Roscoe whispered in her ear.."Aren’t you worried about the cops coming, what are you gonna tell them?""Oh baby, I never worry, I blow half the cops in this town, plus I was only protecting a fellow employee. They can’t do anything to Princess Crystal. Now relax baby. Let your dick do all the thinking and let your mind go blank and enjoy."It was dark where Roscoe was getting his couch dance. He couldn’t get a good look at her eyes, which was for the best. It’s only in the light and when he looks deep into someone’s eyes that he gets the images of who they really are."You can touch me if you want" Crystal told him."You sure?""Sure baby, something about you really turns me on." She said, licking his forehead slowly, her tongue making its way down to Roscoe’s eager lips.They embraced in a wet sloppy kiss. Roscoe’s hands began feeling her all over and she let out a sexy moan like she was getting wet.Roscoe began reaching for her shaved vagina, sticking a few fingers in her slimy love canal."I want you inside me." She told him.That’s when two cops came into the strip club and began questioning people as to what happened to the bleeding trucker on the floor."Shit, guess we better head over there and talk to them." Gina said, removing his fingers from inside her.Gina walked away, turned around to look at Roscoe, and blew him a kiss. He just sat there with some dumbfounded look on his creepy face. Massive hard on bulging from his jeans.Roscoe didn’t want to walk over there till his hard on went down.He was paranoid about the silliest things.So he just sat there thinking of boring shit to try and make it go down. He thought of baseball, golf, algebra problems, hiking. It still wasn’t going down so he brought out the big guns. He thought of a 97 year old lady with globs of cellulite spread eagle on a bed with vomit all over her crotch as a double headed mutant eel came squirming out of her vagina, while she begged Roscoe for some hard cock in her encrusted dieing saggy brown hole that smelled like three week old rotting gorilla turds.His hard on went down right away and he stood up.The paramedics arrived and began doing what they do."He still has a pulse!" one of them yelled. They loaded him onto a stretcher, wrapping his head up in gauze. That super trucker dorko professional guy kept telling the paramedics how he was putting pressure on his head to stop the bleeding. He told them about 5 times, like he wanted some sort of good human of the year award.Roscoe sort of stood in the background sucking on peoples drinks they had left sitting at all the tables. Free Booze. What could be better? Trying to ease drop on what Gina and one of the cops was talking about. She whispered something in the pig’s ear, licking it, and the ugly cop got this ridiculous grin on his face. He wrote down the police report, slapped Gina on the ass, and him and his inbred looking partner were gone.A few bearded smelly truckers entered the place. More and more truckers started piling back into the strip club. The music started again and some bleach blonde over weight stripper with a dumb cowboy hat on was up on the stage dancing around to some awful country song. Her massive boobs flopping all around, while retarded truckers began yelling out hillbilly gibberish yowls.Roscoe looked around for that crazy serial killing Gina, but she seemed to have disappeared into the back dressing rooms.Whatever, Roscoe thought to himself, sitting back down on a stool at the bar and ordering a double jack and coke.That super dork trucker sat next to Roscoe and tried to start up a conversation."Wild night tonight hey there buddy?"Roscoe didn’t even look at him; he just stared down at his drink."So you a truck driver too?" the dork asked."Fuk! Look man, I aint up for any mundane chit chat, so just fuk off and go sit somewhere else!" Roscoe screamed at the man."Hey pal! I was just trying to be friendly! You know what! Fuk you! You got a problem with me?" the dork screamed, throwing his stool to the side & getting in some sort of karate stance."You wanna try me! Eh? Anytime your ready pal!" he yelled.Roscoe was a little stunned, but also didn’t mind a good fight when he was all plastered on liquor.Roscoe slugged down the rest of his drink and went to stand up off the stool but fell backwards in some awkward drunken stupor, hitting his head on the floor.The big security guard came up at that point and grabbed that dork by the shirt and started moving him forcefully to the front door."He’s the one that started it! He started it! Not me!" the creep yelled, like some second grader.Roscoe lie there on the floor for a minute feeling like an idiot. Gina came up to him and held out her hand to help him up."Feeling a little buzzed?" she asked him.Roscoe’s head started spinning right after she said that. The last thing he wanted to do was puke all over. He tried to trick his brain into thinking that he was not drunk at all and that the entire place was not spinning.Roscoe and Gina sat talking and drinking more."Come with me." Gina said, grabbing his hand and walking him off into some back room behind closed doors.It was this secret little room with a king sized bed and mirrors all over the walls and ceiling."You need a little pick me up?" she asked him."Uh, sure man." Roscoe said.She pulled out a nice sized bag of meth from one of her long blue zip up hooker boots. They snorted some hefty lines off a marble table."Tell me about you?" Gina asked.Roscoe felt that instant chemical drain down his throat & was now wide-awake and his head spins were gone."Not much to tell. I’m a traveling man.""Are you a trucker?""Sort of, I mean that’s what I do for money but I’m not all gung ho about it like most of these truckers.""Where are you from?" she asked, while gently guiding him over to the bed."No where and everywhere," he said smiling."Do you want to know anything about me before we fuk?" she asked him."I already know plenty about you." He answered."How so?" she asked."I’ll tell you later," he said, grabbing her body and rolling her onto the bed."What is your real name?" he asked her."GINA." She replied in some sort of voice that was not hers.Roscoe just decided to ignore it. Thinking his mind was just playing tricks on him.Before Roscoe even had a chance to get his pants down, she was already ripping them off of him. Her eyes focused on his throbbing veiny hard on. Her lips wrapped around it. She began sucking like crazy. Like a pro. She got on top of him and slid it in her with no rubber. She began bouncing up and down and moaning really loud. Roscoe let out a few weird grunts."Please don’t look at me while we do it, ok." He told her."But why?" she asked, still bouncing on him."Because when I look into your eyes I see things.""What kind of things?""Look, just don’t look into my eyes, ok?""Fine!" she screamed, turning her head to look up at the mirror ceiling."He’s just a pig, a no good man pig, like all the rest of them!" her voice screamed, only it wasn’t her voice, it sounded like some kind of bizarre evil mans voice.It frightened the shit out of Roscoe."Hey, what did you just say?" he asked her, as she moaned more and more, bouncing like crazy."Nothing at all." She responded in her normal voice."You crazy bitch, come on! Ride me!"He flipped her over onto her back and began pounding away on top of her."Don’t look at me! I told you!"She turned her head to the side."He’s a filthy man pig who needs to join the others!"She screamed in that scary deep man voice again."You really are fuking crazy! I love it!" he yelled."Give it to me, give it to me!" she bellowed in her normal voice.After another ten minutes they both came at the same time, in perfect harmony. Their sweat drenched naked bodies lying next to each other. They lit cigarettes and stared up at themselves in the mirror.Roscoe began getting more paranoid than usual probably because of the meth he did. He started having images of his dick turning green and falling off in a few days. I mean why didn’t I just use a rubber! He began to yell at himself in his head.His mind started thinking about the fact she was a crazy serial killer who seemed to be possessed by some sort of fuked up entity. He wondered if she was going to try and kill him now.She got up and went to the bathroom."Where are you going! What are you doing!" he demanded."Relax you freak, I have to take a shit after all that exercise."Something about her fascinated him. He always liked dangerous crazy women. But this woman had to be one of the craziest. He wanted to walk away from her. Walk out of this dam strip club. Drive away and never come back. But it was like she was some sort of magnet now, sucking his soul into her deeper and deeper.Roscoe quickly got off the bed and began getting dressed in somewhat of a panic. His heart was racing way to fast and his mind was getting more and more paranoid. He thought he was having some sort of panic attack. He kept seeing images of his unhealthy heart beating so fast that it exploded. "Calm down dude, just take some deep breathes." He mumbled to himself.She came out of the bathroom, still nude and went right up to his face and looked in his eyes."I’m looking at your eyes freak boy! I’m looking in them!" she yelled, and let out some psychotic laugh.Roscoe’s slide show started and he saw her cooking up testicles, he saw her running naked through the dark woods and speaking in tongues. He saw her slicing a razor blade into a pumpkin over and over, and the pumpkin had ‘Daddy’ written on it in big letters. He saw her digging shallow graves in her tomato garden, while she dragged out big black hefty bags from some torture shed."I gotta get the fuk out of here. It was nice meeting you. I really have to get going." Roscoe stuttered."You asshole, just fuk and run hey, is that how it is?"She blurted out."No, I had a great time, but really I got to get going.""No problem asshole, and by the way if you have a burning sensation in your dick, or if you start having painful yellow fluid discharge from it, don’t worry. Its just syphilis. Oh, and another thing, welcome to the wonderful world of herpes, hepatitis, and HIV asshole!"Roscoe stood there shaking. A feeling of complete dread came over him. He felt sick to his stomach. His Dick had a sudden sharp pain shoot through it."You fuking bitch! You are dead! I swear you are a dead bitch! I’m gonna chop you up like you did to all those men! You hear me!" he shouted."Man pig Man pig Man pig! Always get what they deserve!"She yelled in that horrible monster man evil voice.Roscoe ran from the strip club. He curled up on his truck bed in a fetal position and began weeping. Streams of puke came gushing from his mouth like some broken fire hydrant. It sprayed all over his truck walls but he didn’t care. His life was over. That Gina had purposely given him all sorts of diseases. Another sharp pain shot through the center of his dick. His balls began burning. He couldn’t stop scratching them. She probably gave you crabs to. A voice in his head said.He knew what he had to do. He had to kill her. He had no other choice. He would be saving countless lives by doing this. He would be honored as a hero once the cops went to her place and found all the bodies. She had to go.Roscoe pulled out a long razor sharp hunting knife from under his bed and began plotting his plan out. I can’t do this. A voice inside his head said. You have to do this you pussy! And you will do it! Another voice in his head told him.He pushed play on his mini tape recorder and listened to all the different people from inside his head having discussions about how he had stopped taking all his medications."You all shut up!" he yelled at the tape recorder, smashing it with his foot.Roscoe dressed himself in black. He walked over to Gina’s car and the back door was unlocked. He climbed in and curled up on the floor, waiting.The voices in his head all started talking out loud. All these different sounding people, from a little girl, to an old wise man, to a scared infant crying."Shut up! Shut up! All of you!" he screamed.Some how he fell asleep. He was awakened by the sound of Gina opening her door and the rattle of keys.He grabbed the back of her hair and yanked back hard on her head. Roscoe sliced her throat clear in half. Almost decapitating her the blade went in so deep. Her mouth kept making these gargling drowning sounds. Blood spit up from her mouth spraying her windshield. Her body went into a few spasms and it was over.He went back to his truck and passed out with blood still all over his hands and arms. He had horrible nightmares about Gina. She was torturing him in her shed with different torture devices while she screamed ‘Man Scum!’ at him.Roscoe awoke to a loud violent pounding on his truck window."This is the police! Stick your hands out the truck window now! Or we are throwing in tear gas canisters! Comply with our demands now! Stick your hands out the window where we can see them!"Oh fuk. He said."OK! OK I’m going to stick my hands out now!"Roscoe took down his window curtains. There were about 15 police cars and cops all over with guns drawn. Swat team sharp shooters on top of the truck stop roof with rifles pointed at him.Roscoe slowly rolled down his window and stuck his dried blood ridden hands out. About ten cops swarmed the window and bashed the door open. They pulled him out of the truck and threw him on the ground. Their knees digging into his back. They clamped the cuffs on so tight that they broke one of his wrists."Sick freak!" one of the cops yelled at him, as they stood him up.Another one spit in his face."I’m a hero you assholes! Just you wait and see! I stopped her! You stupid pigs don’t know shit! Just you all wait and see!"Roscoe screamed. They shoved him in the back of a police car and drove him off. Roscoe stared out the window of the car at a huge crowd that had gathered outside the truck stop.Truckers yelled at him."Murderer! Sick Asshole! Give him the death penalty!"Roscoe couldn’t wait till he got to talk to a lawyer. The dumb pig detectives hounded him for hours, day turned to night, to day again. They refused to let him sleep until he told them some information on why he did it."All I’m going to say is what I told you 15 hours ago. I was doing the world a favor by getting rid of her. It will all come out soon enough when you search her house and land. Now I’m not saying anything else till I speak with my lawyer!"This big fat cop in a sweaty dress shirt and crumpled tie got right in Roscoe’s face. He looked into his eyes and Roscoe saw this man jerking off to beastiality porn. Roscoe saw this man raping the family dog while dressed in a pink tutu. He saw this man sneaking into zoos at night and molesting the baby elephants."I just want to tell you one thing you low life punk! You are a worthless piece of shit and the state is going to fry your ass!"The cop spit a huge green lung cookie into Roscoe’s eyes.Just as the cop was about to leave the room Roscoe began laughing like a mad man."I like your pink tutu you dog raping fuk!"The cop just looked at him like he was insane."What the fuk you say!" the cop yelled."You heard me you lassie humping sicko!""Piece of shit! That’s all you are boy! A piece of shit!"The cop screamed, slamming the door behind him.Roscoe finally got to speak to his lawyer. His lawyer was a tall Jewish man with pointy glasses and some sort of nervous twitch. Roscoe didn’t care for the man right off the bat. But Roscoe told him everything. About how Gina was a mass serial killer and how she was possessed. He begged the lawyer to please send some cops to her place to find the bodies. The lawyer adjusted his glasses and looked somewhat frightened of Roscoe. Roscoe looked into his eyes. He saw this man dancing at home in a ballerina outfit. He saw him plucking hairs from his legs for hours at a time while whistling to the moon. He saw this man sticking a douche inside his vagina hole, which was right next to his dick."Please sir! Just please send some cops out to where she lived and you will see!"The lawyer’s nose twitched and his eyes sort of spastically flickered. He adjusted his glasses."Roscoe. The police have already been out there days ago. There are no bodies. There are no torture sheds. There are no skin suits or anything. No hefty bags. You do realize that this is a tight nit community and that we look out for our own? Now lets talk about a possible insanity defense. I understand you are suppose to be on medication and you stopped taking it, correct?""What the fuk you mean there’s no bodies! And I don’t need that dam medication anymore! She was a mass serial killer! I’m telling you! Why wont you people believe me!"Roscoe grabbed the lawyer by his throat. Two guards quickly tackled Roscoe and began beating him."I am not insane! You people are playing games with my head! I am not insane!"The guards dragged him off back to his cell where he would become catatonic in the weeks to come. He stopped eating and speaking. Rubbed his own feces all over his body and face. He just stared at his cell wall seeing the entire towns eyeballs glaring back at him.
　
by nrm

William Dongleberry and snookims

mr dongleberry awoke from his slumber at 6 o-clock in the morning. It sounded like someone was throwing huge boulders into an empty dumpster just outside his window.He peeked out his window and saw these Mexican workers doing something in the dumpster. Banging away with hammers while they slammed bricks around inside the dumpster.William hated being woken up. He didn’t even like to be awake at all. He preferred to just try and sleep his life away. He put on his pink bathrobe and his daffy duck slippers and headed down stairs to confront the men.He marched right up to them."Excuse me! Seniors! What on gods earth are you doing!"The Mexicans looked at each other puzzled and just ignored him. They went back to hammering things into the dumpster and slamming bricks around."Hey! Seniors! What in the Fuk are you fools doing! People are trying to sleep around here! Hello? do you speak English?"One of the fatter Mexicans threw his hammer down."WE here doing a job! Ok! Now go away!""How dare you!" Mr. Dongleberry barked.He marched back up to his apartment and dialed 911."What is your emergency?" this lady asked in some nasal ridden voice."There are illegal immigrants outside my apartment making a ruckus and I was trying to sleep!""Sir, that is not an emergency, why did you call 911 sir?""I just told you! Send some police right away! It is so an emergency, and don’t get snippy with me young lady!""Sir, I’m going to hang up now, and please don’t call 911 unless you have an emergency." She hung up.William was infuriated now!"I will call the police myself!" he screamed.His little pampered poodle lie on the couch wishing he could talk so he could tell him what a fuking idiot he was."Can you believe the nerve of some people Mr. Snookims?"His dog stared back at him, thinking how much he hated that stupid name William called him by.He called the police and they said they would send a patrol car by to check it out.William waited. He waited some more. After about an hour the Mexicans all loaded up into the back of a pick up truck and drove off. Just as they did the patrol car pulled up and this slick looking body builder cop stepped out of his car and walked up to Williams apartment.William had his door open and ready."Well it’s about time officer! You just missed them. They been making noise for the last 2 hours!"The cop got real close up to Mr. Dongleberrys face, and flipped his shades up."Sir? Who and what are you talking about?"Mr. Snookims lie on the couch growling at the officer."Shush Snookims!""OK, let me spell this out for you. Obviously police are not the brightest people in the world with your silly two-year college degrees. There were a bunch of illegal Mexicans in that dumpster all morning making dreadfully loud noises non stop and I want them arrested!"The officer stepped into Williams’s apartment. The shitty little poodle ran off the couch and began biting the cop’s leg.The cop kicked it across the room and it went flying into a wall and whimpered off under the couch."How dare you kick my dog sir!"The cop grabbed William by his neck and lifted him off the ground choking him."You listen to me you fairy creeped out fruitcake. It’s people like you that make my job almost unbearable. Now if you ever call the police again for such nonsense I will personally come back over here and shove that poodle down your throat!" the cop yelled, dropping William to the floor.William gasped for breath clutching his throat, crawling on the floor over towards Mr. Snookims.William curled up with his dog on the floor and began weeping."You got anything to eat in that fridge? I’m hungry" the cop said, walking over to the fridge.William quickly reached way under the couch for his gun.The dumb cop opened the fridge and saw two human heads staring back at him surrounded in pineapples."What the fuk?" the cop said, turning to look at William and his dog.Mr. Dongleberry quickly shot the officer right between the eyes. The cops muscle bound body dropped to the apartment floor.The dog ran over to the cop and started licking up the blood."Why don’t people ever learn Mr. Snookims?""Woof Woof!" the dog responded with blood all over his white poodle chin."Oh my, look at this mess with have to clean up now Mr. Snookims."William began to undress the dead officer."Oh my gawd Mr. Snookims, no wonder this man was so angry. He is hung like mouse. I have seen bigger dicks on newborn babies. My goodness." He put the cop uniform on and stared at himself in the bathroom mirror."My, I must say I love a man in uniform," he snickered.He got the cops keys and went and started up the patrol car. William drove down the street in search of the Mexicans who had woken him up.After a couple blocks he saw them at some other apartment complex in the dumpster making noise.He pulled up in the squad car, loaded the dead officers shot gun up. Plus he had the officer’s handgun.He walked up to the Mexicans and without a word began shooting them one by one. Once they were all dead, he walked down the street, got on the bus and went home.He dragged the dead officer’s body into his bathtub and began cutting it up with a huge saw while the dog watched.Bugs bunny was blasting from his small TV.William dipped the officer’s heart in some flour and deep-fried it in some Crisco. He cut a foot off for Snookims and let him gnaw on that all night.William repeatedly watched cartoons all night long while he hummed Barry Manilow tunes to his poodle.Mr. Dongleberry slept great that night. He even slept in most of the next day all curled up with his doggie.Every news channel was talking about the missing officer and the slaughtered Mexicans. A massive investigation was going on in search of the killer. William never watched the news. Only cartoons.
　
　
by nrm

Loony bin (part 1)

Telekinesis Armageddon cosmic over flow lights a small fuse in this universe I have created in my head where I can have late night conversations with childhood friends when I’m in that sleep yet awake state- until I realize there is someone there actually conversing with me & when that reality hits I will ask them "Are you still there?" but they wont be, you see, cause as soon as one’s mind clicks into the fact of what is going on that is when the conversation is lost- 2012 the kid knew who drank a ton of belladonna- he knew the score, & so did that guy Max who never showered until they forced him to- with a beard down to his balls- he never spoke a word even tho everyday I’d say "Hey Max! What’s happening, great day today aint it?"I stared at a cup of juice for 5 hours once & the staff was getting concerned, I could not & would not speak to anyone while I went into this trance like state where nothing mattered but me staring at that cup of juice, & inside my mind I saw with my eyes that juice finally begin to boil & that’s when I came out of the trance.hang around a bunch of lunatics long enough you will start acting like one- it’s like a feral child being raised by a pack of dogs that walks on all fours and barks and acts like a dog- any environment one is in will rub that energy off in one way or another until the conscious mind excepts that as normality- for instance I now know I do have friends to speak to as night falls-they may not be people you or somebody else can hear but I hear them perfectly clear now-5 points to the darkened sun when Yosemite explodes after the earth’s massive quakes melt & burn anything with lungs & you can scrub your soul all you want with bleach but that smell you now see, taste, and hear will stay around one’s aura like a volcanic fire ball of circling worms that out stretch from the inner hole of a brain damaged poetic urine fountain- the seven seals of revelation come like a tidal wave of bursting unpredictable showers of fire- your medications to make me a zombie are no longer needed because when I stare into the sun & make my mind as blank as a lobotomy patient- I can feel every sound or every star that explodes in the never ending black holes of an emotion galaxy inside another universe with in the sanctity of simple breathing- I can feel invisible sand morsels surrounding my feet in a hot summer day while distant ocean waves slowly come to this new shore of enlightenment- we can feel the cat itching it’s fleas while it cleans it’s over fed belly now that the tree stumps have been cut down to mind sized elements of a future that no longer matters.My friend Antonio in the mental ward who was a confused pedophile who could barely speak English could turn into a monkey as soon as I said "ewe, ewe, ahh ahh…"& every time- he would have me rolling around on the ground in hysterical laughter- & that substitute doctor who thought she knew it all trying to cut my Prozac in half while not believing my shaking hands anymore after the fourth day of non stop Librium doses that put me in such a state where all I wanted to do was make new colored drawings like some whacked out third grader non stop- Antonio & others would draw with me and Antonio wrote down a movie he was going to direct with all these alien crafts up in the air. He told me it would be called"Bank Stony tee and the funky family tree movio the grandma Mexican American unknown kavino.""That’s a wonderful title for a movie." I’d respond.Certain staff members looked at us as if we were crazy, others seemed so use to any sort of behavior that came about they could never be surprised with whatever was going on- like the time this guy named Sam –an asian man- came into the TV room –pulled his shorts down & began shitting all over the tile floor while yelling some sort of gibberish in Japanese at the top of his lungs- others began to vomit from the smell but for some reason it smelled like fresh apricots to me- maybe I was starting to lose it for real- or maybe I already had-Sam was on constant suicide watch. Always a big black guard sitting outside his room with the door cracked staring at Sam laying in bed- it made me and the suicidal belladonna drinker roommate of mine wonder what the fuk Sam had done- so one time at lunch-if you can call their lunch food ( it was more like some mystery small portion of what looked and smelled like vomit every day, and a piece of bread) I lost 15 pounds in that place.Well. Suicidal belladonna drinker and me who were both obsessed with 2012- tried to spark up a conversation with Sam."So Sam? What’s your deal? Why are you in here?"He quietly looked up from his food and said…."It’s just a big misunderstanding, that’s all it is."We left it at that. But my mind began to wander, seeing him shoving sewing needles into his ear holes or something while he played Russian roulette with some ancient Japanese gun that was possessed by his grandpa who had killed himself after the war.My mind always thought things like this- maybe it was good I was in this funny farm- if they only had a sensible doctor that knew what she was doing- not this cunt who kept cutting all my medications that made me feel non suicidal- every time I had to look at her face and eyes or even come close to her I felt like splattering my brains all over the fuking walls & hopefully chunks of my brain matter would go flying into her stunned open mouth as I did it.Something about her was just wrong- she gave off that aura that she was so above everyone- like the time I tried to warn her about 2012 and she starts laughing at me saying she worries about what’s going on today, not what will happen in the future. But if we knew what was going to happen in the future it would affect us as to how we act today! I tried to tell her. She was so stupid and condescending-I told her one-day. "Don’t tell me what meds I need and don’t need, I practically have my PhD in medications- I know what makes me happy and what makes me angry-Everything you see around you is an illusion of an atmosphere that other people who have brainwashed you & the rest of society have inflated into this gigantic floating balloon of bullshit that you and most are all stuck in! & one day, with just one pinprick that fuking balloon is gonna pop! Understand! POP! And only than will you & the other robots understand any sort of meaning or truth or love! Understand!"She let out this snide smirky chuckle and whispered something to her assistant who seemed to be writing down everything I said.She made me so angry that I decided to let out this massive fart so that the entire session or whatever it was that we were having would end.So I did."BLLLLLffffffLUUUUUUUffffllRRRRRRRRRPPPPPP!"my butt cheeks ripped one out like a trumpet of belching rabbits being slaughtered all in synchronicity."That’s it MR. Martini! This session is over! Now get out of my office!"Her assistant covered her nose with her shirt and I started hysterically laughing at the looks on both their dumb faces.I walked towards the door & let out one tinier squealer-sounding fart just for good measure.I walked back out into the main room with the other loonies and Antonio came up to me and started acting like a monkey, and I was laughing so hard by that point that I just let out this huge scream of joy or insanity! I’m not sure what it was but I started tipping over chairs and running around in circles like a mad man as the staff of low IQ retards all chased me around trying to get me to stop.I had learned from some whacko they brought in the night before who went on a non-stop cursing fit of such vulgar insanity for hours at 3 a.m., that the crazier you acted the better drugs they would give you. Cause the next day that guy was stumbling around like a slobbering slow motion zombie. his eyes like half shut clueless brain dead glowing numbness.I wanted a big shot of whatever they had given him, and this would be the best way to go about getting it I assumed.I continued to run around in circles, tipping chairs over, and began screeching like a chicken or a rooster.."BEEEEEE GAAAWWWWK! BEEEEEEE GEEEEEEK !" I bellowed, while Antonio ran around doing his monkey impersonation right behind me. This one schizophrenic lady that was always walking around cursing and clapping her hands and singing religious hymns covered her ears and began letting out these horrid screams of pain.When they finally caught me, about five of the Mongoloids grabbed me and wrestled me to the ground and put me back in the straight jacket I seemed to have arrived in my first day there. They took me in this weird little room that was painted purple with doves flying around the walls with no windows. They all held me down and one of the goons brought out this huge needle filled with something. The mere sight of a needle filled with anything always brought a rush of excitement to my drug riddled junkie brain.Last thing I remember was that thing going into one of my few remaining veins & I woke up about 10 hours later feeling like everything was in slow motion and that all my limbs had turned into slippery spaghetti noodles."Feeling a little calmer today Mr. Martini?" this big black guy said opening the door. Only his voice was all slow and warped like some sort of fuked up drunken demon on Thorazine.My lips tried to answer but they were just big globs of jellyfish that wouldn’t form any sort of sentence. It felt like gallons of slobber was drooling down my chin. I had gotten just what I wanted, the less I felt, the more zombie-fried I became all the better was my reasoning. My manic mind & mood swings had to be shut down for long periods of time so that I could just stop thinking so much about so many things. I just wanted that feeling of nothing. Of such zonked out numbness that I wouldn’t even realize I was a human being anymore.
　
　
　
　
　

man cake sounds good
broken nails & screams come
from a mans upstairs window
he bangs away on an old sears guitar
where he has snorted 10 benzos
& all it brings on is wanting to sleep
klonopins are shit compared to xanax
got a script for 30 ambiens too
but no way to swindle up money
for them
if feel sluggish all the time
maybe that's a sign my body is giving out
people have heart attacks at 39, sometimes earlier
we can only hope and pray someday
made a vanilla cake
with graham cracker crumbs on top
along with this chocolate syrup
it wasn't even cooked and i took it out of oven
& i ate the entire thing
vanilla all over the dogs and cats
& floor when i put the spin things on to high
next day i had all this dried vanilla and chocolate
all crusted around my goatee
& i panicked for a second not knowing what it was
maybe it was that flesh eating disease.
but then i remember what i had done
all wobbling round on benzos
falling on my face, animals staring at me
no wonder i'm a fat fuk these days
　
Maximum GlorificationBy nrmMax looked down at his huge gut in disgust. He didn’t want that gut. It seemed to just keep getting bigger and bigger. He couldn’t stop eating. He use to be thin and in shape but ever since he started taking his new meds it felt like he was always hungry no matter how much he ate.He would rather stare at his weight bench and treadmill than actually use them. Max didn’t even have a job and he was 38 years old. He had no friends in the town he lived in. He lived with his grandmother. Max had a cat named Felix who was his best friend. Max wasn’t even sure half the time if the anti depressants were making him better or worse. When he got his bi weekly unemployment check he’d just waste it on hard booze and drugs. His grandmother still treated him like he was 12. Always asking where he went if he happened to go out for the night. Always accusing him of being on drugs.Max had many pipe dreams and plans that he never followed through with his entire life. It wasn’t long before he hardly left his grandmothers house at all. He started getting more and more paranoid about the outside world.He stopped taking showers. He’d just sit in his room staring at the useless TV. Max use to write short stories and paint with acrylics. It was his passion. Art and literature. But for some reason the last few years or so his mind had sort of run out of creative fuel for some reason.The only time he felt half way inspired to write anything was when he was drunk or on some good uppers or opiates. The meds he was on had killed his sexual drive, which was fine with him. He didn’t have enough self-esteem left to try and meet a woman. He really didn’t have much to offer a female. He had no money and no plan for his future. His dick didn’t really work anymore either.Sometimes he even thought his cat Felix didn’t really care for him. Max tried meditation, bouts of sobriety, religion; anything that he thought might help him feel better about things. Nothing seemed to work. He felt like there was something missing from his life. But he just didn’t know what.His Grandma came knocking on his door."Max? What are you doing in there all day long?" she asked, trying to open his locked door."Trying to figure out why I exist Grandma.""Max, I want you to take Bubbles on a walk today."Bubbles was his grandmothers annoying dog.Max didn’t respond. He despised taking that dog on walks. There were always other people out walking around all happy in the sunlight. Sometimes they would try and talk to Max, and Max was not a sociable person at all these days."Max! Max! Did you hear me?""Yes grandma, can I wait till tonight when it’s not so hot out?""Ok Max, but don’t forget. Bubbles will be waiting."Max nodded his head in despair and curled back up into his mattress."Fuking bubbles troubles doubles snuggles, gobbles, fuggles," he muttered, in some angry voice. A massive wave of depression shot through his entire being and he shivered. His mind kept trying to come up with some kind of plan. Some sort of job he could handle without wanting to blow his brains out after every shift. Something that would get him motivated again. Something to give him some sort of joy in his life.He contemplated suicide all the time but realized he would really hurt his family members by doing such an act. Plus he always thought, what if it’s even worse when you die?Where does ones soul go? What if all that heaven and hell stuff is the real deal? Max was raised catholic and he always wondered about death and religion.Max looked down at his gut again and poked it with a finger. He wished he had some money to get drunk or buy some cigarettes.Felix hardly even hung out with him anymore. Felix would just chill in another room and ignore Max most of the time.Max would try and pet him sometimes and Felix would just look annoyed and swat at him.Max’s only real comfort was stuffing his chubby face with food all day long. But that was turning him into a blob of human fat. He waited every month for those dam food stamps to come through. He’d go on a massive drunken spending spree at the grocery store each month when he first got them."Are you eating again?" his grandma would ask every time he opened the fridge."Yes Grandma, am I not aloud to eat now?""Well I’m just saying, that’s all you do is eat, I don’t understand it is all.""I don’t either Grandma," he’d respond, shoving a burrito down his throat.One night Max was taking Bubbles on a walk when he saw some lady coming towards him walking a dog as well. She was slightly over weight like Max, and her dog was the same breed as Bubbles. As they got closer to each other, their dogs struggled to sniff each other’s butts."Hi." Max said to the lady."Well hello, it looks like our dogs are quite curious about one another." She said.Max sort of looked down at the ground trying to remember when his last shower was? Two weeks ago? Three? He knew he probably smelled real bad."My name is Gloria.""Oh, my name is Max," he said, slowly looking up from the ground into her face. Max was never real good with eye contact.They both stood there in the dark night just sort of staring at each other while the dogs sniffed each other."So you live in the neighborhood?" she asked."Yeah, I live with my Grandma right down the street," he told her."No way!" she blurted out."Why you say that?""Cause I live with my Grandma too!"Max let out some awkward chuckle that turned into a hacking smoker’s cough."How old are you?" Max asked."38, what about you?""Me too." He said."Weird hey? It must be a full moon or something, next you’re going to tell me you’re unemployed and take meds for depression?" she laughed."How did you know that about me?" Max asked."Oh my god! Cause I’m in the same boat too! Ha. How crazy is that?"There was a moment of weird silence."Well I guess I better get going Max," she said." Uhhh…. Please… Don’t go yet, I mean, do you want to exchange phone numbers and maybe hang out sometime?" he asked her, all nervous like, looking down at the ground.It was like a miracle when he heard her friendly inviting voice respond."Sure Max, you got a pen and paper?"Max fumbled around in his smelly pockets. He had no pen or paper."Uhhh. Uhhh. No I don’t.. I guess not.""Well you got a good memory?""Not really these days, I mean I use to but, but…""My number is real easy to remember, it’s 555- 3399. Can you handle remembering that till you get home and write it down?" she laughed, winking at him."I sure can, sure I can. Ok Gloria, nice meeting you, I will call you tomorrow if you like?""Sure thing Max. That sounds great. Maybe we could take the dogs to a park and walk them or something?""Yeah, we could do that.""Bye Max.""Bye Gloria."He walked away for about twenty feet. His mind kept telling him to turn around to see if she would turn around as well and look at him.Just as he turned his fat head around, Gloria did the same.She waved to him. He waved back. A spark of hope and an inch of happiness shot through his soul and brain. He hadn’t felt any sort of hope in years.He walked back into his Grandmothers ancient house. It smelled like old people and dog piss. Max took Bubbles leash off and sat down on the couch next to his Grandma with a huge goofy grin on his face staring at the TV. She was watching some ridiculous so-called reality love show called ‘the bachelor.’A commercial came on and his Grandmother muted the volume, looking over at Max’s stupid grinning face."What are you all giddy and smiling about you dam weirdo?" she asked him, taking another slug off her massive glass of wine."I met a girl tonight while on a walk with Bubbles, and we are going to go out on a date.""How old was she? Twelve? Was she retarded and blind or something? Are you sure you didn’t just imagine that she was there? Why would any woman want to go out on a date with you?" his grandma spitted out, grinding her dentures around in her mouth. She let out this evil drunken laugh, while Bubbles lie next to her; feverishly licking his ugly pink crusted brown asshole.The old bag of saggy wrinkled skin and gray hair could be a real bitch after she got enough glasses of wine in her."You know Grandma! Sometimes I wonder how Granddad put up with your negative bullshit for all those years before he finally died.""Your Granddad loved me to death for your information! He never had much to say about you! I Can tell you that much! God rest his soul. I was his life. He was a winner in life. Always had a good job and took care of his family. Unlike you. That’s why he left me all his money and left you nothing. He knew what a no good drug taking loser you always were.""You know GRANDMA! Why don’t you FUK the FUK off! and……and….. another thing….!""Shush now! My favorite reality show is back on. Settle down Max, shush now!""That bullshit is not reality! Those are all actors and the entire show is a fake ludicrous script! I mean look at those people! They aren’t real! They don’t live in any sort of reality!""Max! Go to your room and shut up! Granny is trying to listen to her show!""Fuk this shit!" Max yelled, stomping off to his room and slamming the door with a rage of anger in him. That old witch really knew how to push his buttons. She always had.He punched another huge hole in his wall."FUUUUUUUUUK YOUUUUUUUUU!" he screamed.He heard his Grandma mute her stupid show again and she yelled…"Max! take your dam medication! Don’t make me call the cops again to take you away! Remember what happened last time?"He jumped onto his bed, grabbing a pillow, covering his entire face, he screamed into the pillow, while his legs kicked up and down. He felt trapped. He was so angry. Any time he started feeling any sort of joy or hope that old bag of bones had to bring him down again.Max took some deep angry breaths. Felix came and jumped on his bed, which rarely happened. Felix sat on Max’s legs and stared at him purring. Max began to pet Felix. It made him feel better. Max looked into Felix’s green eyes. Cats always had a calming soothing effect on him when he was freaking out.The next night Max called Gloria and they went out for dinner and a movie. They had so much in common that it seemed strange. They liked the same foods, the same books, they had both been truck drivers in their past, they were both jobless with no friends. The second night they hung out in Max’s room and made love for the first time. Max was surprised his dick still seemed to work fine. They started hanging out all the time and Max no longer felt so depressed. He started writing and painting again and they tried to come up with ideas for their future.Max’s grandma could not stand Gloria. She just could not stand to see anyone happy. She wanted everyone to be miserable like herself. Gloria’s grandma could not stand Max. One day Gloria noticed that Max had a massive collection of bank robbery books on his bookshelf she had never noticed before. Just about any book Max could get on bank robbers or robbing banks he bought."What’s up with that?" Gloria asked him."It’s just sort of a pipe dream of mine that if I ever fully snap I am going to rob a bank. I have studied up on it so much that I think I’d get away with it.""Are you being serious about that Max?""Well, of course I never have done it, I’m just saying you know, maybe if I had never met you and life kept sucking I might have turned to it.""Why don’t we do it? Sounds like a plan to me." She said, surprising Max."Yeah right, your kidding right?""No Max. I’m up for it if you are. Teach me more about banks and how we could get away with it?""I can’t believe you are being serious.""I don’t want to live at grandmas for the rest of my life, do you? And we both hate the idea of getting jobs again."Max began filling her in on all the information he knew about banks. Their security. Their vaults. What days and time are the best to hit a bank. What managers do what and hold which keys. Exploding dye packs and how to spot them. Where their secret bank alarms are. How to watch out for tracking devices in the money. How to case out a bank. How to take control of the robbery quickly and immobilize any security guards. Disguises. Transportation to the bank. The get away. How to hot-wire a car. How to never leave any finger prints. How long you have to get in and out of the bank. How big of a score it will be. Learning the lay out of the bank. If violence is needed. What sort of weapons to use. What to do if something goes wrong. Escape plans. It went on and on.Max gave Gloria his favorite books to read on the subject and she studied them with a passion. He told her about his favorite bank robbers through out history and how the good ones got away with it.They chose a bank that was close. Max figured the closer the bank the quicker they get away and safe.He went into the bank with Gloria so she could open an account one day. He took notice where all the cameras were, how many people were working, the two entrances and exits, what sort of security they had, and he calculated in his head how much time they would have to get in and out with the cash. He noticed the head manager open the vault in the back, and Max took notice of the time he was opening it. He eyed the tellers to see what kind of people they were; he asked what their hours were. Gloria took notes in her head as well as she scoped the entire bank’s lay out.The two of them became obsessed with the entire idea. The planning. They tried to think of every detail. They both agreed if for some reason something went wrong that they would not go to prison. They both agreed they would rather go down shooting. For months and months they went over it non stop, it almost seemed unreal to them, like they were just playing a game, but they both knew they were going to do it. No matter what the outcome they were ready. They watched the video of the north Hollywood shoot out where the men had full body armor suits on and blasted away at the cop’s non-stop. They discussed what if any armor they would have.Max even got a hold of bank robbers in prison and told them he was doing research for a book. He would go to visit them and try and get some more secrets to the art of bank robbery.The plan was coming along just fine in this year of 2012.Max and Gloria built up an arsenal of weapons and bulletproof suits. They began shooting meth for weeks at a time going completely insane together with non-stop sex parties of freak speed sex. Both their grandmas began to get suspicious and ask too many questions but they had Max’s door bolted shut with 8 different locks for security.The news channel blared in the background as Max and Gloria fucked away at each other in a naked pile of sweat with huge jittery pupils of insanity."North Korea has sent another nuke to the island of Hawaii and the chemical attack in New York by the Iranians has now killed over 17, 000, 000!" this petrified looking newsman said.He went on…"President Obama is in hiding after Secretary of state Hillary Clinton was assassinated by the infiltration of terrorists in Washington DC. Mrs. Clinton took a bullet to the head on live television yesterday as most of the American public watched. Most of the city of Los Angeles has been reported to be on fire from the massive earthquake and looting is reported in every-major city, as law enforcement seems to have given up on keeping any sort of order. We have reports of rabid anarchists taking over the city of San Francisco with machine guns. Vice President Biden is nowhere to be found after his trip to the Middle East. His plane went down somewhere in the Atlantic ocean many are speculating it was terrorist related. Congress and the senate have all but disappeared to underground bunkers we assume. America is in shambles folks and it looks like it’s getting worse with another massive chemical attack reported in Detroit. We also have reports coming in from Portland Oregon that another massive infiltration of alien space ships are landing, raping and killing anyone left."The TV goes all fuzzy and shuts down. Max pulls his banana shaped spotty dick from Gloria’s love hole and cums all over her back moaning."What the fuck were they rambling on about on the news honey? That shit was annoying. It’s like who cares what’s going on in the world. We as humans are all fucked sooner or later. You know. People worry about such dumb shit."Max said, scratching his whiskey gut. Gloria agreed. She let out a pussy fart and yellowish stomach juice that looked like lumpy porridge came squirting out all over the bed sheets."Eww, sexy honey, real sexy. For sure." Max said."Couldn’t help it Max."The Cat begins to lap it up."What is today anyway? Holy shit! It’s December 21, 2012! Honey! It’s time to go rob that fucking money filled bank!" Max yelled.He began to dress in his bulletproof armor and load his arsenal of machine guns. Gloria smiled with glee and got in her armor, loading a Mac Ten. They taped all sorts of grenades to their armor. Had bags of dynamite ready.Tons of ammo and guns strapped to their armor covered bodies. They shot up one more big shot of a particular strong batch of meth, ate a few more xanax bars for the nerves and headed out the door.Max’s grandma was having a nervous break down from watching the news, nailing all sorts of wooden boards up over the windows in her gas mask and her Hazardous Materials jumpsuit.They stood in the driveway looking like futuristic fighting machines. They were in love. Crazed neighbors were all freaking out loading up their possessions in hopes of driving somewhere safe. But there was nowhere safe. This was the end of earth. The final day. Max glared over at this one neighbor he never liked. He raised his machine gun. The neighbor was a yuppy snob who would make Max clean up Bubbles dog shit off his lawn.Max aimed at the man and began firing non-stop till the guy was a bloody mess of human road kill splattered in his driveway. Blood and brain matter blew all over the man’s always-perfect lawn. His kid came running out of the house and Gloria aimed her machine gun, squatting down into a sniper position."Gloria! Stop, He’s just a little kid. What the Fuck has gotten into you!" Max yelled at her.Her eyes looked deep into Max’s with tears pouring down her half armored covered face and she let out a painful cry of doomed love from the bottom of her rotten stomach. Something had snapped in her. Her entire body was shakingShe pointed the gun at Max."What the hell are you doing Gloria?" Max managed to say.She fired in a rapid non-stop quivering fashion. Her trigger finger pointing at the only non-armor proof part of his face. Into his eyes. Max dropped to the ground in a dead mess of blood.She stared at his dead body and felt some weird tinge of relief and loss filled with meth-induced psychosis setting in. She never really wanted to rob the bank after all. She was only trying to please her Max. And the stress and aggravation that built in her all those months of planning had finally exploded in a volcano of insanity and violence directed to her true soul mate. She had stopped taking her meds a month ago, never telling Max about it.Gloria looked up at the sky and it went completely black.A thunderous roaring evil almost indescribable horror filled sound came from the sky. Like a zillion tortured babies from some other planet all yelling through the loudest speakers in space.A universal scream of the end of earth, as we knew it. Other people at some of the other houses began to spontaneously combust and evaporate into reddish sand shards shooting up into this yellowish glowing wormhole that seemed to be sucking everything into it’s vortex of power.The sky turned red and cracked in half, blood pelted down from falling clouds, while the worm- hole grew stronger.The ground of earth began to break open into massive chunks of what looked like a never ending black hole and certain people were sucked down instead of up. Things going up, things going down.No one knew how or why they went up or down. For it was decided long ago by the planet hopping alien gods- that had developed wisdom beyond comprehension. The Spinning Wormhole went up into galaxies humans never knew existed. Aliens were going to show some of us chosen ones planets and knowledge we never could have imagined. The prophecy of December 21 2012 had come true.Gloria grabbed Max by the arm. her body couldn’t fight the pulling of the wormhole anymore. A massive piece of earth cracked open under Max and a fifty-foot monstrous underground mutant hand with spinning souls shaped as knives on its fingertips snatched his body downwards. Gloria got zapped up into a whirling time warp of stars & shapes, her body evaporating into red clouds of dusty sand as her soul continued to glide through the massive hole upwards.
　
Penny fo yo thotsby nrmThey had moved all the rehab chairs into a huge circle in the main room where all the meetings were held. Some special guest speaker was standing in the middle of the circle of chairs, strutting around in his cowboy boots and taking a look at all of us sickos.He told us that he had 5 years of sobriety and we all clapped like trained monkeys. He made us all stand up and move in closer. He pulled out a penny and held it up to the ceiling."Now! What we are going to do is pass this penny to the person next to you without dropping it. We are going to do this in a perfect movement where we are all in synchronicity till I say to stop."All the junkies looked around at each other puzzled. The penny began getting passed around the circle."Can’t we do this sitting down?" some grouchy crack head yelled out.The penny went round and round the circle and I could see that some people were starting to get very pissed off with this exercise. The guy in the middle with the cowboy boots on would say stop about every 5 minutes and then we’d start passing the penny again. A few people walked out. And a few more after that. One tattooed heroin felon marched up to the guy in the middle in a fit of anger."This is fuking aggravating and it’s bullshit!" he yelled in his face and walked out."What the fuk is the point of this!" one dude yelled."I’m not paying all this money for this bullshit! I’m here for recovery!" another man yelled."Shut the fuk up!" one guy yelled at some other guy."Fuk you punk!"They got in each other’s face and the cowboy guy in the middle tried to break them up.Half of the people had walked out and were outside complaining. The entire exercise erupted into a yelling match and fights broke out."Great job buddy, you really know how to piss people off don’t you! You fuking jerk!" this crippled drunk with a big red nose in a wheelchair screamed at the guy.I went up to the guy who thought this was going to be some great learning experience and I said.."What was the point of that? Seriously?"He had no answer. He just looked all scared at the near riot he created. Some head counselor lady of the entire rehab came in to talk to the penny man. She looked infuriated.In another building this big black guy was screaming at the top of his lungs that someone had stolen his Nike tennis shoes! He ripped his shirt off and was going berserk as counselors called the police and tried to calm him down.It turned out one of his roommates had just moved them to a different spot while he was sweeping.They kicked that black dude out after his crazed fit of anger.Another guy who was in my group was standing in the hallway arguing with our counselor. She was a mean power tripping little munchkin of a lady that seemed to hate her job and all of us druggies."You are a bitch!" he screamed at her.He got kicked out that day as well. He had only been there for about 3 days and he complained non-stop about how he couldn’t sleep cause of some slob snoring all night long. He demanded they give him a different room and they wouldn’t. Earplugs buddy. I had to use them every night cause I had three snoring roommates.This one guy who never spoke much was having a panic attack in the middle of the hall. I mean a panic attack like I had never seen. His entire body was shaking and he looked like someone had just frightened the shit out of him. His arms and legs, shaking, his hands trembling, people tried to sit him down, and he went into some sort of seizure and the paramedics were called. The entire place was a drama filled freak show every day."Line up for medication! Medication time!" a man’s voice said over the speaker system.After a while it was time for meditation outside. They had put all our chairs in a circle. Some old hippy-looking guy was running the mediation. He was trying to speak and no one was listening to him. People just kept talking over him."Everybody shut up!" this new guy next to me suddenly yelled."Fuk you! You shut up!" this other guy yelled back at him.A huge fight broke out in the middle of the circle. People punching each other. Screaming, tackling each other. The hippy teacher just sat there with a look of disbelief on his face. I walked off back to my room and some counselor told me I wasn’t aloud to go to my room. That I was supposed to be in meditation. I just laughed at him."Go out there and see for yourself. It’s a disaster." I told him.The penny guy that almost started a riot was walking by me in the hall with his head down looking like he was about to go relapse. I got to my room and laid down wondering if all rehabs were this disorganized."I need everyone outside again for meditation guys! Right now!" this counselor said over the speaker system.I decided to try and hide in the closet and get some sleep. It was the only place I didn’t think they would find me. Part of their program seemed to be sleep deprivation. I couldn’t believe people actually paid five grand to come to this place. I was state funded.
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Sister Hellaby nrmWhen I was a young boy of about twelve or thirteen I would stand behind large grown ups in Sunday mass and see halos around certain people’s heads. Sometimes they were different colors. The longer the catholic mass went on the brighter the halos seemed to get.I figured the people that didn’t have the halos were not going to heaven. Some of my friends were alter boys. I remember when church would be going on I’d pick my nose and make all sorts of funny faces at them to try and get them laughing. Many times they almost completely lost it while they were up there. They had to look away from me so they could try and put their serious face back on.We had this nun named sister Nancy that taught a lot of are classes. We use to call her sister Nasty. She had a bright white chubby face covered in red freckles. When she got mad or aggravated her freckles would turn even redder and the veins in her neck would start to throb out. She use to sneak up behind you if you were speaking during a test and smack a ruler down across your hand with a ferocious whack! The girls would always cry or scream but it was a un written rule among the boys that you did not let out any sort of cry or weep what so ever. If one of the boys did, we all took turns throwing a basketball at his back during lunch until he would be in tears.I remember one day at lunch I was sitting with my crew. Sitting across from us was Booger Eater. That’s what we called him anyway. His real name was Ralph Franklin. He had big goofy thick glasses. His hair was always cut into a bucket like buzz cut. It was always greasy and when he wasn’t picking his nose and eating it, he had his hand half way down the back of his pants and was scratching his ass cheeks for some reason only known to him.Every day his mother packed him the same lunch. Tuna fish sandwich, a carton of milk, 2 carrots, and a rotten looking apple.I’d catch him sometimes looking at the other boys who would be eating cake or twinkies. Or they would have home made cookies and different sorts of candy bars. Booger Eater would just stare at them as they ate those things with his massive coke bottled eyeballs. He’d sometimes start picking his nose real slow and savoring every booger as if he was imagining it was a cup cake or cookie.I felt sorry for Booger Eater. My crew and me were always picking on him. He had no friends at all and never uttered a word to any one. Sometimes we would try and make him speak at lunch. We would all start chanting "booger eater! Lets hear you speak! Booger eater! Lets hear you speak!"He’d just sit there chomping away on his carrots with some bizarre half smile on his face. He had something going on in his brain it’s just no one knew what. He got the best grades out of anyone in our class. My one friend who was the biggest bully of them all use to get Booger Eater up against a wall sometimes at recess or lunch and tell him he was going to smash his face apart if Booger didn’t let him cheat off him on the next big test.One of the few times Booger Eater did speak or felt too threatened he would say in this weird nasally voice…."Keep it up and I’ll tell Sister Nancy on you."No one liked Sister Nancy except Booger Eater. He was her best student. Sometimes she would even pull him aside at lunch and he’d get to go eat with her and the other nuns in their special cafeteria. We would all hoot and holler at him as she led him away by the hand.The girls in my class were always separated from the boys at recess and lunch. The only time you really got to try and talk to them was during class or if you came to school early in the morning. There was one girl named Darla Jenkins who would have her mom sew her school skirt up higher. So it would be higher up than any of the other girl’s skirts. Sister Nancy would always warn her that if her skirt got any shorter she would be expelled. I loved her short skirt. She had these great sexy smooth legs. During class, we would pass notes to each other. I’d stare at her legs and dream of touching them.I could tell she liked me but the problem was my friend, Richard Scumpter, he had told everyone that he made out with her and that her breath and pussy stunk like rotten fish. My crew called her "Fishy Girl" They never did to her face. But I’m sure she had heard the nickname. I think Richard was full of shit. She always smelled like strawberries and some exotic perfume when she sat next to me.If my crew caught me talking to her too much they would let me have it at lunch.."You in wuv wit fishy girl! Eh?"We were all only about 12 to 13 years old. Most of us hadn’t even hit puberty. They’d just say all sorts of stupid little kid stuff. I think they were just jealous that she seemed to like me. She was one of the best looking girls in our class.One day at lunch Booger Eater didn’t open his lunch bag. He just sort of stared at us all with a crazier look than usual while he tapped a finger on his leg."What’s a matta? Booger man! You don’t like mama’s lunch no more? Hey pussy?" this mean kid named Kevin Froddle said to him.Booger Eater just stared at him not saying anything."Come on four eyes! Can’t you speak! What’s a matta? Mama didn’t put your apple in there today!"Booger Eater let out a weird grunting like noise and opened his lunch bag up and pulled out a knife. He jumped off the bench and stuck it right in Kevin’s neck!"My name is Ralph!" booger eater screamed.We all looked at the knife in Kevin’s neck stunned.Kevin let out this huge girly scream of horror and pissed his pants. We all ran to go get a school nun.Kevin was ok. He had to get some stitches and ware this weird bandage around his neck for a few weeks afterwards.Ralph got suspended for a week. When he came back to school no one ever made fun of him again.At least not to his face. He walked around with pride now. His shoulders no longer slouched. He even started telling certain members of my crew to shut up if he didn’t like what they were saying during lunch. Just out of the blue."Shut up!" he would bark.We would be silent in fear of a knife in the neck.One-day sister Nancy caught Darla and me passing notes during a test. She grabbed both our notes and marched us out of the classroom into her office. Her neck veins were throbbing. Her freckles turning as red as blood."Both of you are going to sit in nowhere land for the next 3 hours until you learn some respect!" she yelled at us.Nowhere land was this half dark room with crosses all over the walls where students got sent to be punished if they were bad. It only had a few desks in it and there were all these rumors that it was haunted.You were not aloud to talk when in Nowhere land, but everyone did anyway. The nuns would come and check on you every 20 minutes or so. Some of them would say…"Take this time to pray and beg forgiveness for your sinful ways."So me and Darla were sitting there alone together staring at each other. We just started laughing non-stop for some reason."Well this is funner than class." She said."Yeah, this aint so bad at all.""So tell me Darla? Is it true the rumors Richard spreads about you?""What the heck has Richard been saying about me?""You don’t know?" I asked."No.""Well, never mind.""What! What! What! is that loser saying about me?""Nothing, never mind.""He’s the one that tried to kiss me on the bus last year and I turned my lips away from him and told him I didn’t like him in that way.""Really? You never made out with him?""God no! Not in a million years would I!""Well I guess he’s a liar." I said."He sure is." She said, nodding her head in disgust.Sister Nasty stuck her crazy head in the door."No speaking you two! Silence!"I sat there staring at Darla’s legs. She knew I was looking cause she hiked her skirt up even more and sort of grinned a little bit while she put her head down on the desk and let out this sexy sigh."Why you looking at my legs?" she giggled."Because I like them.""Hmmm, is that so? Well why don’t you ever try and kiss me if you like my legs so much?" she asked, in a sexy whisper.I looked at the door worried about another sister poking their head in and decided I had about 14 minutes left to make my move.I stood up and walked over to her desk and bent down. She looked at me with this big smile on her face. I went in for the kiss and our foreheads smashed into each other awkwardly. We both sort of laughed and tried it again. This time our lips connected perfectly. I had never kissed a girl. She started laughing and told me to open my mouth more and to use my tongue on her tongue, so I did.She didn’t taste like fish at all.She got down on the floor and spread her legs open and guided me on top of her while our lips interlocked. She had on these bright pink panties with red hearts all over them. Something was going on with my penis. It was growing while it rubbed up against her panties. She began to moan and grabbed one of my hands. She put it down her panties. I felt some sort of wet slimy pubic hair with a slit in the middle.Just as I was trying to figure out how to put a finger in her the door swung open and it was sister Nasty!We both jumped up off the floor but it was too late. She had seen what we were doing."Sinners Sinners Sinners! Now you two are in some serious trouble! Lets go! The both of you! Absolutely disgusting, both of you should be ashamed. Just think what your parents will say when they find out!" she marched us out of there and up to the head nun’s office. The head nun was feared. Her name was sister Bella!Some of the guys called her Sister Hella!Sister Nancy explained to her what had happened and left the office. Sister Bella pulled out her ruler and yelled…"Let me see both your hands now!"We put our hands on her cold desk and she began smacking both our hands with a great force that shot waves of pain all through me. Darla began crying but I tried to be brave. She smacked us about 15 times and got on the phone to our mothers."Both of you are to be suspended for 8 days! And you will both come to the church each day when you are not in school and clean it from head to toe so father John can give his sermons in a clean chapel!""Yes Sister Bella," we both muttered.Darla’s mom showed up first. She looked Darla in the face and slapped her."No daughter of mine is going to be a fornicating slut! Get in the car Darla!" Darla ran off crying.I sat there with sister Bella across from me. She glared at me with this weird smirk."So? You little monster, you like to touch girls do you?"I didn’t no what to say so I said nothing."Come over here to me for a minute now boy!: she demanded.I went and stood next to her and she grabbed my hand and put it on her breast."How does that feel you sick little sinner!" she asked.I was stunned. I just stood there frozen. She made my hand caress her old saggy tit."Lets see how you like the feel of this!" she yelled, grabbing my hand and sticking it up her skirt. She forced my hand to rub her big bloated pussy. She began moaning this old lady in heat scary moan."What’s a matter boy? I thought you liked this sort of thing!"We heard footsteps coming up the steps and she quickly removed my hand and told me to go sit back down.It was my mom. My mom apologized to the sister for what a sick boy I was and promised her it would never happen again.My mother scolded me the entire drive home, saying how I had disappointed her and the nuns and what an angel that nun Bella was. How she didn’t understand how she could have given birth to the anti Christ himself. Me! She kept going on about what a wonderful holy person Sista Bella was! I said nothing.Later that night I sat on the couch next to my dad."I heard you have been a very naughty boy!" he yelled at me, bursting out into some half drunken British laughter."So, tell me? Was it worth it son? Is this girl pretty?" he asked."Yeah Dad, she is the best looking girl in my class.""Well good for you son, good for you, don’t let them nuns bring you down and your mother will get over it."My dad was never nice to me. I felt really good that he said that to me. I smiled at him."Thanks Dad."He buried his head back in the newspaper and winked at me.Darla’s mother ended up taking her out of that school and made her go to some private all girls school 100 miles away. I never saw her again and had no idea how to get a hold of her. She was now just a dream. Booger Eater was caught with Sister Bella the next year in some sort of sexual misconduct that Sister Nancy had walked in on. Now Sister Nancy became head Nun and sister Bella waited to go to trial. She was looking at some serious prison time and it was the biggest story to ever hit that lame town.Booger Eater went on to become some multi billionaire computer genius years and years later. The school burnt down in some sort of arson ten years later and they decided not to rebuild it. Sometimes I drive by where it use to stand and wonder where that Darla girl is now a days.
Homeless Alien Haywireby nrmI kept seeing glowing space crafts up in the sky following me.I sped out of the driveway with my bashed apart car. The entire back end looked like I had just been rear-ended because of a drunken Christmas Eve where I was driving about 90 to go score and lost control, ended up spinning out about 4 times into a ditch, other cars had pulled over to call the cops and stare at me. Some how I had managed to finally rev it out of the ditch, but in doing so, the ditch ripped off most of the back end and bumper and parts of the side of the car. I had two flat tires and pulled into my driveway and hid it in the garage. I saw alien spacecrafts in the sky that night. Three of them. Paranoid at any time the police would be pulling up and taking me to jail. It was my dead fathers car, which he loved.Some 1997 shitty old ford escort with over 100 thousand miles on it. He had a brand new 2005 black Mustang parked in the garage that he never drove. He just demanded that I wash it on weekends. It was his baby not to be touched or driven by anyone except on a rare occasion when he was drunk enough; he’d rev up that powerful engine in the garage and go speeding around the block with it, like he was some race car driver. He never invited me to go on these drives. I always figured it was his trip. He worked his ass off his entire life for his family and never spent a dime on himself till he bought this mustang a few years before he died.My Dad didn’t believe in oil changes. He took some sort of pride in the fact the escort had never had an oil change. It was the same thing about dentists. He was from England and that rumor about the British not caring about their teeth is true. He took pride in never going to the dentist until his major front tooth fell out one night when he was drunk eating a steak. Now he looked like some crazed toothless mad scientist. Even he realized he could not teach his rich college students looking like hillbilly backwoods Joe.He got it glued back on several times. But it would always fall off again at the dinner table while he crunched into one of mom’s tacos or chicken casserole."Fuking bloody shit!" he would scream, glaring at me, like I had something to do with his misfortunes. I’d stand up and leave the dinner table and go drink by myself. I knew how to avoid him when he was about to blow his top. I had been practicing and watching him for the last 33 years out of fear.There was only one time that I ever fought back when he was trying to beat me or freak out on me.It had just happened about 3 months ago.He was loaded and spilt an entire bottle of wine in the laundry room, he was down on all fours trying to clean up the glass but he didn’t seem to know how to. He had a PHD in physics and was a respected professor with thousands of publications in fancy science journals.But he didn’t know how to use a microwave or a broom and pan or mop. He didn’t know how to wash his dishes or do his own laundry. He relied on my mom for that stuff.I had been drinking as well on this day. Like father like son I guess. I walked into the laundry room."What happened dad? Need some help?’ I asked."Fuk you ! You bloody shithead! Go fuk off! I spilt some wine! Can’t you see!"I kept my cool and walked away from him and went and hid above his garage where I had my own room. I drank a shitload more and heard my mom pull back into the driveway in the jaguar he had bought her.After a few more hours, when I thought it was safe. When I thought they had both gone to bed. I went over there to eat some food.I was pretty drunk and accidentally dropped a bottle of beer from the fridge that went crashing to the kitchen floor with a loud bang!Fuk!I knew I had to get out of there right away. I was just turning off the laundry room light when my mother was standing there and flipped the lights back on! She had this vulgar filled angry expression on her face with sleepless eyes."You arsehole! What have you done now!" she screamed at me, in her British accent."Mom, I accidentally dropped something out of the fridge, I cleaned it up and am leaving now, im sorry.""Your father told me how you broke a bottle of our wine all over the laundry room floor and refused to help him clean it up!" she screamed at me.That drunken motherfuker went and told her some huge lie just so he didn’t feel guilty! I couldn’t believe it!"What the fuk are you talking about! What did he tell you! I didn’t drop any wine! And I tried to ask him if he needed help cleaning his mess!""Sure you did! You no good drunken drugged out liar!" she screamed at me."Mom! Can you hear me! Can you listen for once! I Did not do anything! He is a drunken crazy liar with mental problems!"That’s when dad came running into the laundry room in his silly looking purple Speedo type underwear. His weird bole-legged skinny chicken legs filled with ape like hair, which he had passed on to me as well. His insane white scientific balding hair sticking up all over the top of his angry head. His gigantic red veiny alcoholic nose glowing with fire."Don’t you talk to your mother like that you bloody fuking no good free loading worthless piece of shit!"He screamed at me, coming at me.I sort of blacked out or something snapped inside me. I was very drunk myself. I didn’t want any violence or arguments or un needed confrontations. I was a non-violent peace-loving drunk for the most part. But they had got me in a corner. A corner of lies told by my father. I was being yelled at and called names for something I had nothing to do with…Next thing I know my fist connected with the old mans nose and face. As hard as I could swing. 33 years of frustration towards him in that punch.His old drunken body flew backwards and he hit the floor with some stunned look on his face that I had never seen in 33 years. What happened next is up for speculation.I seem to remember yelling at him…"Stay down old man! Just stay down!"That’s all I remember.But according to my mom……. the next day she called my sisters in California and said that I attacked him for no reason. That I knocked him down and jumped on him and began swinging non-stop punches at his face. She claims she tried to pull me off him but that I turned around and my eyes were not mine. She claims that my brown eyes were pure red with anger! And that I was yelling crazy shit in some evil voice in some other language that she thought sounded French. I don’t know any other languages and I don’t remember attacking him anymore than that one punch.Either way. I went to work at my low paying bookstore job the next morning. It was all I could think about all day. Was the night before. I kept going over and over it in my head trying to figure out what I had done wrong to them.I got home and headed straight to my apartment room above the garage hoping to avoid them both.There was this note taped to my front door written by my mother.I grabbed it off the door and read it."Dear Roscoe,Your father and me don’t feel safe with you living here. We want you to pack your things and get out. You had no right to attack your father like that. There is no telling what you might do next. We both know that you are on drugs all the time and your behavior is erratic and unpredictable. We paid for your college education for years and years and you never accomplished anything. If you have no where to go? That is not me or your fathers problem: we are no longer going to help you out with bills or in any other way. We can’t believe you attacked your father like that last night after all we have done for you and all your problems in life! You are an un grateful dangerous person that needs to either go to rehab or check into a mental hospital. Please have all your stuff moved out by tonight. And you cannot take our car you use for your job! Leave the keys outside in driveway. We have changed the locks on our doors and if you are not gone by the morning we will call the police on you and have you arrested. Call one of your drug buddies for a ride, because you better leave the car or we will report it stolen.!"Love MomI felt sick to my stomach after reading it. I felt so unwelcome in my own garage apartment as I turned the key to get in. My cat was standing there to greet me with a friendly concerned meow. Sometimes I think animals know what’s going on with humans. They can sense it.I sat on the couch in silence staring at the walls. My cat kept trying to comfort me but I was in no mood.I was more concerned about his fate than my own. What was he suppose to do?I started packing my shit up into big black hefty bags with tears pouring down my face. I had nowhere to go. I only had a few friends, and they weren’t even really friends, more like drug dealers. I had no money and no plan.I grabbed my cell phone, which they paid for as well and tried to dial a number…… It said, "Your account is no longer valid with Sprint. Thank you. Now your call will end."They even killed my cell phone. I was fuked now.I felt awful about everything and tried to figure out why my Dad would have done this to me.Everything pretty much turned to anger after a few hours.I had no way of carrying all my stupid stuff around in hefty bags.I grabbed my cat, looked him in the eyes…."I’m gone buddy, I love you and wish you the best."He let out this worried meow as I headed to the door.I walked out of the neighborhood still weeping. I got to the freeway and hopped some fence. I started trying to hitch hike for the first time in my life. I thought about calling my x girlfriend but I had no money for even a pay phone. Plus she was with another man now and wanted nothing to do with me. That restraining order made that perfectly clear.For hours I stood there like some freak with my thumb stuck out. All people did was speed by and give me dirty looks. One car full of frat boys screamed at me…"Faggot tramp! Get a life!" a beer bottle was thrown at my head in fast forward motion. It missed me. I wished it would have hit me and knocked me out so I didn’t have to try and think anymore. Just as I was about to give up hitch hiking this truck full of Mexicans pulled over. Three in the front. 8 to 9 in the back.One guy in the back yelled something in Spanish at me."I don’t speak Spanish!" I yelled back.They all motioned for me to hop in the back with them so I did and the driver sped off down the freeway.I was all squished up next to two of them near the trucks tailgate as the Texas wind blew all our hair out of control.They spoke among themselves in Spanish, passing a forty ouncer of beer around between them and a big jug of tequila. I just stared at all of them wishing I knew Spanish. The guys up front handed us out a smoldering joint that got passed around. That’s one word I knew."Mota!" I screamed, while taking a huge hit off it. They all laughed and said…"Mota! Gringo mota! See. See! Es loco!"I had no idea where these guys were headed and I didn’t really care. I was just glad I wasn’t standing on that freeway corner anymore. The weed they had tasted like some swaggy shit. It made me cough like crazy but gave me a much-needed buzz.The driver seemed to head north for a long time before cutting down some backwoods farm road to head west.It got dark out. For some reason I felt sort of happy just sitting there half stoned with these guys riding across texas on a beautiful night. I tried to block out all my bad thoughts. I could do it when I had to.I think we might be going to Waco. But I wasn’t sure.I had been to Waco a few times as a trucker. Wasn’t much to do or see there. Only thing that ever seemed to happen there was all that David koresh shit."Gringo es Stupido! See?!" one of the Mexicans sitting next to me suddenly yelled while elbowing me in the ribs."What! " I screamed at him."Puto Gringo es Stupido see?!" he yelled again, laughing with these yellow broken teeth, elbowing me in the ribs again.I looked around at all the other Mexicans in the back of the truck and they all started laughing at me, yelling shit at me in Spanish!I could see why they hated white men but I had never done anything to them or their race. I started feeling like a cornered wounded animal as that fuker elbowed me again in the ribs and they all laughed at me, the gringo.I grabbed him by his throat and punched him in the face. His head flew backwards out the tailgate and I quickly grabbed his neck and started choking him while making sure his head stayed out the back of the truck.A few of the others in the back of truck started freaking out and yelling. One tried to stand up and come help his friend but the wind just blew him back on his ass. The driver finally saw what was going on and pulled into some gas station out in the middle of no where.When the truck stopped it was chaos! They all started yelling at me in Spanish as I continued to punch that one dude in the face that had started everything. A few of them grabbed me off him, and swung my body out of the truck.About 4 of them surrounded me, cursing at me in rapid Spanish. I stood there with my fists up like I knew how to fight or something.They were all yelling among themselves about what they should do when the driver revved up the engine. They all jumped into the back of the truck and sped off out of the gravel dirt gas station. Pebbles, rocks and dirt flying everywhere.I heard some huge engine explosion just as they were about to get back on the main road. Smoke came pouring out of their truck and they pulled over about 500 feet away.I sat on a bench in front of the gas station and lit a cigarette, one of my last ones. I mumbled and cursed to myself watching them all try and work on the truck in the dark distance. Some pregnant white trash young looking girl who worked in the gas station came outside and lit a smoke."What the hell are those wetbacks doing anyway?" she asked me."I don’t know. For all I care they can all rot with their broken down pile of crap!""Ha! Yeah man, fuk em, they come to our country and take all the jobs and get more free shit than us! And what about all them dam niggars with their dam niglets getting welfare invading our great state!" she yelled.Oh Shit, I thought. I have the grand female wizard of the klu klux klan talking to me."I don’t know about all that racist shit lady!" I told her.Now I was even more aggravated. This half toothless trailer trash pregnant brainwashed retard out in the middle of nowhere working gas station redneck was bellowing out her racist ignorant shit into the night air. I didn’t want to deal with her or the Mexicans.I thought of my cat and the comfort of my apartment above the garage.Suddenly there was some kind of struggle between two of the Mexicans. They started fighting each other in the distance. Some sort of power struggle I figured.They tackled each other out into the freeway right in front of a state trooper. He pulled over and him and his partner drew there guns and made them all get on the ground."Man oh man, some excitement for a change in this dag naggot town! Yeeee hawwww!"the racist pregnant hick girl yelled, pulling out a big piece of gum, chewing on it, blowing a bubble, looking at me, laughing some sort of inbred laugh, and heading back into her gas station. I looked in there at her and saw her snorting what looked like lines of yellowish meth off the counter as she stared up at the fuzzy TV. It was that old show green acres playing. The racist girl sat on some stool and began laughing like crazy at the TV.I kept looking down the road to see what was going on with the Mexicans. Eventually all these border patrol immigration officers pulled up in white vans and some huge bus. They loaded all the Mexicans onto the bus and drove off. The cops sat for about 15 more minutes making me paranoid and sped off with lights flashing.I started weeping. Laid my head into my lap and pulled my sweatshirt hood up around my dumb face.I went inside the gas station while that ugly bitch was taking a piss in the bathroom, and I stole 35 cents out of the penny jar that was upfront.I went outside to the payphone and tried dialing my parent’s number. A voice came on saying."The number you are trying to reach has been changed with no forwarding new number. Thank you. Goodbye."I sat on the bench trying to come up with a plan.I stared down the road at those Mexicans abandoned truck.Maybe I could fix that thing? Maybe I could fix it and jump-start it. Drive out of this 30 people population weird town and start a new life wherever the road takes me.I started walking towards the broken down truck.That racist white trash chick came out of the gas station and started yelling at me.."Hey Arian brother! Where you going? What you gonna do!"I just looked at her puzzled and didn’t say anything, kept walking towards that truck.I started fuking around with different things under the hood that I had remembered from 20 years ago in high school auto class. First I figured I better see if I remember how to hot wire a car. I use to be real good at it. Back in my Michigan junkie days I’d steal cars for a living so that I could always have a fix. Never got caught once.I put all the wires together after prying the steering wheel open with a crow bar I found under the seat. Connected them all the way they should go.. But now I had to figure out what was wrong with this truck. I discovered in the darkness with grease all over my hands and face that a simple hose that ran from the engine to the rest of some vital components under the hood was not attached anymore.I found some duck tape and rigged it back up. Just as I was starting up the truck this monster truck pulled behind me with bright lights on.I couldn’t see anything with the bright lights. Finally I saw the outline of some creepy looking giant dude in a cowboy hat come walking towards me. Someone in his truck must have jumped in the drivers seat and was revving the engine so that smoke was bellowing out everywhere and it made it harder to see.I lit a smoke and looked for a better weapon other than the crow bar. I found nothing.His massive big head was now at the driver’s side window. He was covered in scars from a case of the worst acne I had ever seen. His face like a pot holed map of science fiction monsters. He had a big wad of chewing tobacco in his mouth. His eyeballs sort of jerked around in circles like he had been up on meth for weeks. He was tall. Maybe six foot eight. A true Ogre like specimen that should be in some circus freak show.. A monster like missing link bread on barbecued cow ass, pig shit, hey & corn soup, childhood rape, animal humping, and lots of hunting deer and any other animal that dared to breath around him. near his backwoods cabin of fart smelling body odor."My girl in there tells me you had some sort of trouble with some wet backs?""Uhhhh, no, not really dude, its all taken care of now.""What’s a matter? A fellow white man can’t look out for a fellow Arian brother?" he asked, spitting a huge wad of chew out."I aint an Arian brother, and maybe you should just mind your own business when you see another white man. I got shit under control here, ambassador dumb shit." I said, regretting it right after it rolled off my tongue.He spat into the back of the truck."Well you see Mr. We don’t take kindly to strangers around here, specially Mexican nigger loving strangers!"He opened the truck door and pulled me out by the hair and started dragging me back to where his monster truck was.."You see man, I was trying to be nice to another white man, but now I’m gonna have to treat you just like one of them wetbacks you came here with boy!"I struggled to get my footing and he’d kick me in my legs every time I tried to stand up.Soon enough we were back at his truck.He lifted my body up to the very top of the inside of the truck and that ugly pregnant girl was sitting there chewing gum and blowing bubbles. Some super inbred looking giant in a cat diesel power grease covered hat sat next to her. His gut was beyond massive. He smiled at me and his teeth looked like that guy ‘jaws’ from the james bond movies. They were all silver, some gold, shiny and sharp looking. He was some sort of freak out of a real life horror movie that I seemed to be starring in."He sure is perdy, preeety, I mean perty, wouldn’t you reckon there billy bob?" he said in some weird ass high pitch voice."I reckon so too," the guy holding me up by my hair answered.Next thing I know billy bob whacked me across the face and I was out. Unconscious.I woke up in the middle of some kind of cow shit or horse manure field with giant marijuana trees and corn all around me sprouting from the field of crap. I was tied to some sort of cross made out of really strong hemp branches. My wrists were tied up as well. bleeding. They had me in some sort of Jesus like pose. I saw big roof staples going through my hands into the giant planks behind them with dried up infected looking blood.Some little albino inbred kid with dark brown buck teeth came running up to me from I don’t know where and started throwing these rocks at my face. He had on these grease ridden over alls and no shoes."Gonna git some yeah, gonna git some yeah, gonna git some yeah," he sang..He had these bizarre freakishly long toenails that wrapped around him in long decaying circles. He started making this weird snorkeling like laughter and he skipped around in a circle throwing these rocks at my face. Blood began gushing from my nose. I think he had broken it.Many more rocks hit my forehead making me dizzy."Stop it you sick little mutant!" I screamed at him.He stopped for some reason and got up real close to me and grabbed where my dick was and tried to rub it for a second and said…"MUTANT! MUTANT! MUTANT~ DADDY CAUGHT A MUTANT!"He ran off laughing. My face dripping with blood. I could hear a freeway way off in the distance. Maybe a mile or so away. I was already planning my escape.The one monster inbred nightmare guy with the silver and gold teeth came up to me next with a big jar of Vaseline. He opened the jar and rubbed it all over his face. He dropped his pants and he had some sort of mutant two-headed purple dick with what looked like 5 extra balls dangling down some saggy brown scrotum.He let out some sort of indescribable animal noise and started stroking his down stairs mix up violently.I heard a woman’s voice."GutShank! Don’t be messing with our new slave yet! Save it for tonight! And put that dam freaky dick of yours away!"Next I heard hillbilly music. Like country mixed with fiddles and shit kicking old time jamboree like twangy guitars of bluegrass behind me.I could smell some sort of meat cooking on a barbecue and a lot of odd laughter like I had never heard in my life. I heard shotguns being blasted away. It sounded like some of them spoke in thick Cajun accents.That sick kid who threw rocks at my face came running up to me with some other kid with a melted off face and giant drooping mouth that had been shot off and put back together in some botched plastic surgery operation. He had a hat on with an American flag on top that spun around in circles."Looky Bojo, he is a MUTANT! We gonna hump his ass later after story time and marshmallows!"Bojo ran up to me and punched me in the nuts. Now I couldn’t breath. They ran off laughing. I just wanted to die at this point. I begged to any God that would listen to let me take a quick bullet to the head.After a while the main guy that had kidnapped me came over to me, about ten feet in front of me and started putting branches and twigs and human bones into what looked like some sort of fire pit."How you doing there buddy? You getting comfortable in your new surroundings!" he yelled at me."Us white men gotta stick together to keep the blood line pure, understand what I’m saying my Arian brother?"I figured maybe if I played along with his racist shit he might let me down. Maybe I could escape."I hear you loud and clear my white brother!"I yelled back at him"Got Dang, we just might teach you all a trick or two anyhows before we chop ya up for stew!"He started doing some sort of backwoods dance and clapping his hands."Yeeee haw! Lets git this party started!" he screamed.The guy with jaws teeth came out in just a blue rainbow striped mini skirt with high heel hooker boots on. He sprayed lighter fluid all over the fire pit and lit it. Next, the chick from the gas station that was pregnant came out naked holding another little inbred albino kids hand. Four other backwoods insane looking naked women with buck tooth jaws came out behind her all holding the hands of deformed little ugly white kids that were grunting like dieing farm animals, all naked except for a few weird American flag spinning hats on their heads.The main freak that had captured me came out naked.Massive body of fat and flubbered folds… all painted up in what looked like white creamy egg shell drippings. He had that kid who was throwing rocks at me and Bojo on dog leashes with spiked collars on them. They moved like rabid dogs on all fours barking and growling.A few more backwoods looking bearded inbred men dressed in chicken feathers and yellow egg drippings with broken off shovels sticking out their assholes gathered around the camp fire and they all formed a circle and started chanting some sort of crazed hillbilly space alien babbling clucking nonsense like language all in harmony, while they skipped around the fire.I just couldn’t wait to die. My fear had turned into shock, which turned into some sort of catatonic psychotic state where I could leave my body, float above it and feel a beautiful peaceful warmth engulf my being until I shot back into my body. When I left my body all these Indian looking shaman magic men kept pulling at me, they had crosses of Jesus in their hands, they wanted me to come with them over to some sunny lake where the water was all red like a sea of blood.All the freaks were dancing around the fire chanting.That Bojo kid with the deformed burnt face and drooping plastic surgery mouth suddenly ran out of the circle and looked up to the moon. Everyone else stopped dancing and stared at Bojo. He seemed to be sniffing the air while he looked up at the sky. His back heels dug into the ground like a dog digging into the earth…"BOWWWWWBOOOOOWWWERRREHEEE!"He bellowed like some sort of spastic crazed animal.And his body dropped to the ground and was still.The others looked at each other in a panic, grunting and speaking in their sick language.The big goofy jaws teeth guy ran up to Bojo and picked his body up and held it towards the sky, letting out this whale like grizzly bear sound. All the others ran up to Bojo as well. They were all crying and stroking Bojo’s body. I had been working all day and night to get my hands loose and now I had one free. I quickly undid my other hand and my body fell to the ground in a massive amount of blood-riddled pain. None of them had noticed I was down. One of the naked backwoods guy with a shovel coming out his ass had laid a shotgun down near the fire with an entire box of bullets. I thought of my cat and my family that told me to get out.I ran as fast as I could, moving like a ghost on speed, and grabbed the shotgun and bullets. I saw those shamans making me invisible for a short period of time so I could escape. I ran off into this massive decaying ganja planted cornfield, making sure the shotgun was loaded.I must have ran a good 300 feet when I dropped down to the ground and got into a sniper like position between the broken corn stalks. My heart had never beaten so fast and my ears were on full alert for any sort of sounds or footsteps coming my way.I heard all those freaks in the distance! They were screaming in that retched horrible language of theirs. They were all yelling the same thing. Over and over.I heard something up in the sky suddenly and I looked up.Sounded like an electrical buzzing loose wire.It was this blinding light in the shape of a flying saucer that broke off into three different crafts and began beaming down closer to their camp. It shot out rays of colorful heat that radiated this red glowing warmth of kindness, that’s the only way I can describe it.With in about 3 minutes the space crafts zipped back up into the night sky and formed into one craft again and vanished in a light of speed up into the stars.I slowly made my way back to the camp. I couldn’t hear anyone.When I got back to the camp there was no one left. No one but Bojo. He was now glowing with some sort of reddish green energy around his head. He was alive again levitating above the fire sitting Indian style. His face was morphing into what looked like Marshal Applewhite as it spun around gaining speed on each spin.I aimed the shotgun at the back of his head and blasted a massive hole through his head.A light of screaming sound and zillions of black particles that looked like angry miniature bees came buzzing out into the sky.His body fell to the ground and began twitching. I went up to it, staring at it, his body started changing different colors and his head caught on fire and he let out this alien like ear screeching animal howl from some other world.I blew another huge bullet hole into his chest and he seemed to be still after that. His body warped into what looked like some baby slimy alien like ball of guck that withered up into a curled fetus and shot up into the sky and was gone.I stood there covered in my blood still holding the shotgun.My eyeballs seemed to shoot around in the top of my skull.I looked up into the sky and started hysterically laughing. I spinned around the fire in circles non-stop blasting off the shotgun into the night air.
　
no more chances
BynrmMyron stared at his zitty sleepless face in the mirror. One of his eyes had turned bright red from not sleeping for 7 days. He felt insane. His hands shook uncontrollably. His wife, Samantha walked into the bathroom."What you doing honey? Would you please try and get some sleep? Take my last xanax if you want.""It won’t work. Nothing does anymore." He said with an unstable sounding voice."You are really starting to worry me honey," she said, trying to stroke his arm."Don’t touch me dammit!" he exploded.His wife got in her car and sped off down the street.She was sick of dealing with the freak.Myron walked into his backyard and sat in the sun and began to weep."Fuk this!" he screamed.He went back in his house and began flushing all the drugs down the toilet. He grabbed all his drug pipes and smashed them one by one.When he was done he felt a sense of accomplishment. He forced himself to eat a piece of bread. He lie in bed staring up at the ceiling."I need a dam hobby, a healthy way to kill time." He said to himself.He got on his computer and looked up local ping-pong clubs. As a boy and teen he always loved playing ping-pong. Samantha pulled back up in the driveway.She came barging in and gave him a dirty look."Where’s the shit Myron, I need a bump big time," she said."It’s all gone. All of it. I’m done with all that shit.""What do you mean it’s gone? Where the fuk is it?""I flushed it all down the toilet cause it is nothing but poison that is ruining our lives.""You are fuking kidding me right? Right!""No I’m not. I’m going to start playing ping pong again and maybe join a church.""Oh my God! You really have lost your fuking mind this time! What the fuk are you talking about? Ping Pong? Church? You need some serious mental help Myron! Now give me my share of the dam drugs! I know you couldn’t have flushed it all!""It’s all gone Samantha. You need to stop using as well. That shit is destroying us both.""Speak for yourself Myron! I can function just fine on it!"Samantha slapped Myron in the face and began swinging wild girly punches at him. He just stood there and took it until she was done. She stormed off out of the driveway again in search of a fix.Myron got a bunch of colored markers out and began writing all over the walls.Things like…I am now healed. Now I have seen the light. I will become a ping-pong champion and start my own church. I ask for forgiveness for all my sins. I can now hear the sun voices through the clouds.He went on and on for hours writing all sorts of bizarre things on his walls in different colors.He curled up on the floor when he was done in a fetal position and began sucking his thumb begging God for sleep. Promising he would change.Just as he was about to finally get to sleep, Samantha came storming in the front door wired to the gills."Oh no." Myron muttered.She came into the main room and her mouth dropped open when she saw the writing on the walls."What the hell is this? Do I need to call the mental hospital to come pick you up Myron!""Just leave me alone! I am trying to change my life for the better! Can’t you understand that!""What about my life Myron! What the fuk about my life! For your information we are drug addicts. It’s what we are good at. I don’t give a shit about ping pong and I have no intentions of quitting drugs or joining some church!" she screamed."Then fuk off please, leave me alone. I need to heal.""WHAT? WHAT? WHAT DID YOU SAY?" she yelled, her hands shaking."You heard me, go stay at one of your dope dealers houses or go stay with your mom for a while. Just get away from me. Please."Samantha kicked him in the balls as hard as she could and sped out of the driveway. Myron grabbed his balls trying to breath, rolling around on the floor in agony.He finally got a few hours sleep, which helped his head clear up just enough to feel almost alive again. He managed to eat another piece of bread and sip on some orange juice. He went back to bed and prayed for sleep. He managed to fall asleep for 14 hours. When he awoke he felt like a new man. He drove down to the local gym where they held table tennis matches. He asked some of the people how he could get signed up to play and they gladly helped him.After that he went to a church down the street that he had always wondered about. He wrote down their hours and what time they held services. Next he went to an NA meeting down the street from his house where he shared a little bit of his story with the others.He was feeling much better about himself and his new choices until he pulled back up to his house and saw Samantha’s car in the driveway. A feeling of doom came over him when he saw her car. He walked in and couldn’t find her anywhere."Samantha? Where are you?" he yelled.He found her in the bathroom with a needle stuck in her arm. Her body was lying on the bathroom floor lifeless.Myron picked her body up and began shaking her."Samantha!" he screamed, He ran to the phone to call paramedics. He tried to give her CPR. It was too late. She was dead.The day after her death he sat alone in his house staring at all the writings on the walls. He had brought out every picture he could find of her and had them all laying around him in a circle on the floor.He loaded up another huge bowl of meth and his quivering lips sucked all the smoke out of it. He didn’t understand why he couldn’t just change once and for all.His new ping-pong paddle sat next to him. He called a few rehab centers but just hung up the phone when they started asking him too many personal questions.
the sick one
　
by nrm
　
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By nrmI was at some bar in the middle of Iowa. I had parked my big rig early this day cause all I felt like doing was getting drunk. It was snowing outside and the roads were terrible.I was slugging down whiskey and staring at the bartender lady. With each drink she started looking better and better.She was probably about 100 pounds over weight. I kind of figured she had spurted out several kids in her lifetime. She looked about 50 maybe. She had a real bad frizzy perm with dyed blonde hair. There were a couple rednecks sitting down on the other side of the bar that kept giving me dirty looks. They kept getting louder too the more they drank.The bartender lady was mostly down on their side, chatting them up and giggling away.I looked around the rest of the bar to see if I had any other female options for the night. There was only one other lady in the bar. She weighed about 400 pounds and was sitting by herself drinking and chomping down popcorn in some dark booth in the back.I guzzled a few more drinks and decided to try and go talk to her. When I got closer to her I could see that she had one of those down syndrome faces. I didn’t know retards drank. Fuk it."Hi there, my names Roscoe, mind if I sit with you?"I asked her.She let out this weird hackling laugh like choking sound and popcorn came spraying out of her mouth."Sure you can!" she said.I sat across from her trying to get a good look at her face through my whiskey goggles."So what’s your name?" I asked her."My name is Belinda but my grandparents just call me Bindy." She said.I expected her voice to be more retarded sounding, but it wasn’t all that bad."So you live around here?" I asked her."I’m not aspose to talk to strangers." She informed me, rocking back and forth in her booth."Well we are not strangers anymore. You know my name and I know your name." I said, smiling at her."I go to Disneyland last summer with Gladys!" she blurted out, popcorn spraying all over me."Oh wow, that sounds like fun, who’s Gladys?""She my friend from camp.""Cool" I said."Can I buy you a drink?""Sure you can!" she yelled at me."What are you drinking?" I asked."log island rice tea!""You mean long island ice tea?""Dats what I said silly!"I went up to the bar to get us some fresh drinks."Fuking faggot looking creep." One of the red necks said under his breath to me as the bartender was fetching my drinks. I just pretended I didn’t hear him. I was in no mood for a fight on this night, especially two on one.I sat back down with Belinda but now there was an odd smell wafting around the booth. It smelled like she may have shit her pants, so I just tried to breath through my mouth."My favorite music is the Go Go’s!" she suddenly yelled at me."Ok. That’s great, yeah they have some good songs don’t they?""Fuk you!" she blurted out."Excuse me?" I asked her."Sowwy," she said, with some big goofy grin forming on her face. What teeth she had left were brown and dark yellow."How old are you Belinda?""I’m 43 and a half since last year.""Has anyone ever told you Belinda that you are very pretty?""I’m not a spose to talk to strangers.""You already told me that, but we are not strangers anymore, understand?""OK then!" she yelled."Hey, you know I have some great Go Go’s cds back in my truck. Would you want to come back to my truck and listen to them?""Ok Then!""Alrighty then Belinda, lets get out of here.""Where we going?" she asked."I just told you, now come on, follow me."We walked across the snow-covered street back to the truck stop where I was parked. For a second I had a coherent sobering thought. I questioned what the hell I was doing.What the fuk was wrong with me? I was a very sick man."You drive big truck do you do you do you!" she yelled at me."Why yes I do, it’s right over here."We climbed in my truck and she sat in the passenger seat and just started laughing for no apparent reason."What’s so funny?" I asked her."Me did poo poo in my pants cause of log island rice teas!" she yelled."You silly girl, I thought I smelled something yucky."I turned on the stereo and it was led zeppelin playing."Dis is not duh Go Go’s!" she screamed."I know, but I bet the Go Go’s like led zeppelin, so that makes it ok, right?""OK then!" she screamed."Want to sit on my bed?""OK then!"We sat on my bed and I almost felt like I was going to throw up for a second cause of the horrible shit smell coming from her crapped in pants."Have you ever kissed a man Belinda?""NO! you stupid! Ha!""Can I try and kiss you?""Ok then!"I moved in close to her face and gently started kissing her un responsive lips."Open your mouth up a little more and use your tongue." I coached her."Dat felt icky! Icky!Icky!" she yelled."Lets try it again,"I grabbed her face and started sticking my tongue down her mouth. I started trying to rub her gigantic flubbery pussy area. That’s when she freaked out!She chomped down on my lip, biting part of it off!"You no touch my coochie! You no touch my wee wee! No No No! You a bad bad man! Let me out of truck!""But Belinda, this is what grown ups do." I said, while blood spurted from my lip.She managed to open the door herself and run off into the snow-covered truck stop screaming something about her coochie."Fuk man, what is wrong with me!" I screamed.I passed out into some drunken fog. But at about 3 in the morning I heard some hick screaming at the top of his lungs and pounding on my truck."Git yer ass out here boy! Yee fuking sick fuk! Trying to touch my dam sister were you!"I opened my truck curtains and saw some crazed hick in a big cowboy hat pounding on my truck. Belinda stood behind him."He try and touch my pee pee!""Oh fuk man." I hopped out of my truck."Look dude, calm down, it wasn’t like that, me and Belinda had a few drinks and she got the wrong idea and and.." I stuttered."You sick Fuk!" the crazed redneck yelled at me.He punched me as hard as he could in my face. My head flew backwards violently. He clobbered me again in the back of my head and I fell to the ground. I saw a big pointy cowboy boot coming towards my face and then I blacked out. While I was un conscious he continued to kick me in the ribs and face non-stop until Belinda screamed."No mo Billy No mo Billy! You gonna kill duh bad man!"I woke up in some weird Iowa hospital two days later. I had three broken ribs, a broken jaw, a fractured skull, a broken leg, most of my teeth had been knocked out, and I had some internal stomach bleeding.I suppose I learned my lesson. Now to this day whenever I see a person with that down syndrome face I begin shaking with fear, and I cant look at them without having a full blown panic attack.
by nrmmad man at the windowI was parked at some scary truck stop out in the middle of nowhere land. Somewhere south. I think it was Alabama. I was right on the border of some other state I can’t recall.Some other state where they promote inbreeding.It was a run down shithole of a truck stop that was just a dirt lot with big potholes all over. The only place to park was way in the back. It was dark out and I had been driving for over ten hours. I was tired and hungry.I locked up my truck and walked over to the only greasy diner around. I ordered a hamburger that looked like a pile of greasy crap with uncooked French fries. I kept staring at the skuzzy looking dude in the back cooking it. He kept glaring back at me with hatred.I sat there eating it, watching cockroaches run across the floor and up the walls."What’s the name of this town? Mam?" I asked this crazed looking skeleton like lady who was slumped in the corner of a booth.She opened her mouth but there were no teeth in her mouth."Gula downs slodak fer sho" she answered.Have I stumbled into some twilight zone episode? What the hell kind of weird ass place is this? The quicker I get to sleep and get out of here in the morning, the better.I threw most of the food away. I was walking by another truck and I heard what sounded like sexual pig noises, or goat’s fuking or something. I walked by another truck and the driver had his inside light on. He was just sitting there with this insane look on his face staring at me. Then he waved at me with both hands. I started walking quicker to my truck. I walked by another truck and some voice from the window goes.."Yo yo yo. Hey Yo Yo Yo!"Why cant people just leave me alone. Seriously. What is wrong with these people? I saw another truck with the inside cab light on. It was these two Japanese looking twins, both eating noodles with chopsticks out of some plastic containers.I was almost at my truck when this retched looking run down smelly prostitute (or as truckers call them, lot lizard)Came coughing over towards me mumbling some sort of drunken cracked out gibberish about if I wanted a date or something. I just ignored her and got in my truck and locked the doors. She stood in front of my truck."Fuk you mothafuker!" she screamed at me and flipped me off.I sat in my front seat for a while in the darkness. I noticed these two shady looking guys with bolt cutters messing around the back of some guys trailer. I watched them cut the lock off the back. But for some reason they panicked and ran off without opening the back trailer door.This is the kind of place where I’d feel a lot safer if I had a loaded gun with me.Some real scary looking homeless guy with bugged out eyeballs suddenly appeared at my window, knocking on it. It scared the shit out of me."What!" I screamed at him.He was making some sort of weird hand gestures like he wanted me to roll down the window. Dried up cottage cheese encrusted around the corners of his chapped lips."Get the fuk away from my truck dude!" I yelled at him.I shut my truck curtains and grabbed my knife. I stuck it under my pillow and tried to fall asleep. But now I couldn’t sleep. This place I had stumbled into for the night was starting to creep me out big time. I heard some woman screaming off in the distance out in the woods. Next I could have sworn I heard someone at the back of my truck trailer thumping around and blubbering silly rap songs.After many hours of tossing and turning and hearing weird noises outside I was just about to fall asleep when this loud violent banging on my window shot my head out of bed in a total panic. I grabbed my knife. And again this monstrous pounding on my window. Fuk man, I was scared now. My heart was racing."What the fuk do you want! Me and my wife are trying to sleep in here!" I yelled at whoever was pounding on my window. I figured if they thought I had my wife in here maybe they’d leave me alone.I was frightened to open my window curtain and see who it was. But once again…."Pound! Pound! Pound! Thump Thump Thump!""That’s fuking it!" I tried to inflate my balls, clutching my knife, and I swung the curtain open.It was some insane looking cracked out of his mind black dude. He must have been about six foot seven.Some giant afro. He had blood all over his hands and what looked like bugs crawling around in his fro."Roll down the mothah fuking window white boy!" he demanded."Get the fuk away from my truck!" I yelled, holding my knife up for him to see."I say roll down the mothah fuking window!""I’m about to pull my gun out and blow your brains out you psycho! You got 2 seconds to get away from my truck!"He gave me some insane look and barfed all this orange looking bile all over my window and sprinted off between some other trucks.I was almost in shock. I shut my curtains again and checked to make sure my doors were locked. I just couldn’t believe it. What did he want? My shaky hands reached for my cell phone to call the cops. And sure enough my cell phone was not picking up any reception. This was like some horror movie now. I thought about starting my truck up and driving somewhere else but I looked at the map and there were no other truck stops for the next 100 miles and I had driven all day.I tried to lie down again, but I mostly just kept staring at the clock as hours went by with no sleep. At about 3:30 in the morning it happened again."THUMP THUMP THUMP!" on my window.I thought I was about to have a heart attack. I jumped out of bed and grabbed my knife."I’m gonna have to shoot your ass now! I warned you asshole!" I yelled, trying to sound scary.I flung the curtains open and he wasn’t there. Just as I started to calm down again and try and lie down, he was now thumping on the side of my trailer with what sounded like a sledgehammer."WHY? JUST TELL ME WHY GOD?" I screamed.I tried my cell phone again and it worked! Oh thank God!I dialed 911 and told the lady on the phone what was going on and that I needed some cops to come get this guy."What County are you in sir?" she asked me in this rude tone."I don’t fuking know! I’m at the only truck stop around here for 100 miles in some backwoods fuked up town! Somewhere in Alabama and I’m on the border of some other hillbilly crazed state!""Sir, you need to relax and stop cursing at me or I wont be able to help you.""Ok, fine, but did you hear what I said? Some crazy crack head with blood all over his hands keeps pounding on my truck and telling me to roll down my window!""I understand that sir. What’s the name of the truck stop?" she asked."I don’t know. I don’t think it has a name. Maybe its called the shittiest place on earth truck stop! How does that sound!""Can you see any landmarks around you sir?""Wait, wait, I ate at some greasy diner. I think the place was called Greta’s kitchen or something. Does that help?""Ok sir. I know where you are. I have dispatched a patrol car to come out there. I just need your name and what truck you are in?""My name? What for?" I asked, getting all-paranoid."Sir, do you want our help or not?""Well yeah, but I don’t want to give out my name and tell you what truck I’m in and all that, cant the cops just drive around the back of the truck stop and see if they can get this crazy dude?"I had whiskey bottles in my truck and a few illegal drug type things. I didn’t want any cops questioning me."Ok sir, a patrol car is on it’s way.""Thank you mam."I sat there all paranoid, occasionally peeking out my curtains to see what kind of horrors were out there.I lay in bed staring up at the trucks roof. I started feeling real angry and bummed out that I had not slept. I don’t think the cops ever did come. I never heard any sort of vehicle out there. Luckily that crazy window thumper seems to have gone away. The sun began to rise and I felt a little safer. I opened my curtains and started my truck up on no sleep. I just wanted to get as far away from this place as possible.
　
by nrmAmerican FamilySimon got home from his construction job, grabbed a cold beer out of the fridge, and sat his fat ass down in his lazy boy. He grabbed the remote and started flipping through the news channels. All the news was still coverage on Michael Jackson’s death."Enough already, he was a child molesting plastic surgery nightmare drug addict! I’m so sick of hearing about this weirdo!" he yelled at the TV.His timid wife was in the kitchen cooking up some tacos for his fat ass. Her hands shook from the 4 different medications she was on."I mean shit! This aint news, what the fuk is going on with North Korea and them nukes! And what about all them sand niggers in Iran? What the hell is going on over there? King of pop my ass. More like the king of bullshit!" Simon yelled at the TV.His wife’s nervous shaking hands mixed up the taco meat. She was on the verge of having her tenth nervous break down."When is supper ready you dumb bitch!""In in in bu bu bu about te te ten minutes honey." She answered."Well fuking hurry up, I work all dam day and you can’t even have supper ready for me when I get home! And grab me another beer woman!"Her shaking hands handed him another beer.Their 40-year-old son who still lived with them came stumbling into the living room, scratching his head like he just woke up. His stained sweats he never changed out of with no underwear underneath. His gross boner always sticking up."Dam boy, when are you gonna get a job and get your shit together? What do you do all day long besides jerk off and sleep?""Daddy, I told you I’m reapplying for disability unemployment. I can’t work. You know what the doctors say about me. I got mental problems. That’s why im on medication.""The entire world has mental problems boy, but everyone still works for a living. You lousy sack of shit.""My wife is a fuking mental case. My son is a dam retard. All the news ever talks about is some dead freak that liked to touch little boys. The dam country elected a half-breed to be president. What the hell is this world coming to?""Obama is a very smart man Daddy! You shouldn’t be so racist. Obama is going to save the world from war Daddy!""Shut up retard." Simon said, farting.The overweight goofy looking son went into the kitchen."Mommy, why is Daddy so mean all the time?" he asked her."He is is is you you your fa fa fa fa father, he lo lo loves uh uh uh us."They all sat down at the dinner table. The son began shoving two tacos at a time down his throat. Sour cream all over his face. Simon sat there waffling down tacos while slugging more beer and farting up a storm. The wife just sort of picked at her salad with trembling hands, mumbling stutters to herself."One of these days, I’m just gonna decide I don’t feel like working either. I’m gonna walk out of here on the both of you! And then where would you losers be!" Simon said, letting out a huge belch and fart at the same time."OOOPS, think that one is running down my dam leg.""Did you do my dang laundry woman? I need a clean pair of bridges.""Yea yea yes. I di di di did lau lau lau landry.""Der duh duh der der duh! Well don’t just sit there woman, go get me a clean pair of bridges, cause I just shit in these ones.""Daddy! Why you gotta always shit yourself at the dinner table?""Shut up retard, it’s my dam house. I pay the bills, I’ll shit where ever I please."The 300-pound goofy smelly son ran off into his room to play with his star wars action figures and pick his ears and nose while rubbing his dick.Simon took off his shit in underwear at the dinner table and threw them at his wife’s face."Eat some of that woman! Might get rid of all that retarded stuttering your always doing."The wife ran off into her room in tears, her entire body going into some sort of crazed shivering panic attack.Simon sat back in his lazy boy and continued slamming beers and yelling at the TV. He looked out his backyard window at the dead lawn. There were auto parts all over, useless tires, broken down microwaves and rats running around."Boy! Get your fat ass back out here now!" Simon screamed.His son came waddling out rubbing his dick with a huge booger hanging from his nose, holding one of his toys."Tomorrow when I’m at work, I want you and your crazy mother to clean up that dam backyard! Understand me!""I don’t wana do that daddy. I don’t wana."Simon stood up. Drunk as ever. He slapped his son across the face and punched him in his fat gut."I didn’t ask you if you wanted to do it. I told you your dam well gonna do it!"His obese son dropped to the floor and began gasping for breath as tears came streaming down his face.The wife came out of her room holding a kitchen knife in her trembling hands."Neh neh no muh muh muh more. Ne ne ne never hee hee hee hit him a a a gain.""What the hell you doing with that knife woman?" Simon asked, grabbing it off her, and smacking her across the face.Simon suddenly got an intense pain in his heart. He clutched his chest, slumping back in his lazy boy."Oh Jesus, OH shit. I’m having another heart attack. Don’t just lay there on the floor you morons! Call 911!"His wife ran to the phone and picked it up. But the Son grabbed it out of her hands and hung it back up."No mommy, not this time. NO!"Their tearful eyes looked at each other. They embraced in a long hug. Simon lie on his lazy boy in a massive amount of pain. clutching his chest."What the fuk you idiots doing in there? Help me!"After about 15 minutes Simon was silent. Mother and son stood there staring at his lifeless body."What do we do now mommy?" the son asked.
By nrmGina awoke in her blood-splattered motel 6 to find laying next to her the bloated dead body of another john she must have killed while in one of her blackouts. She cycled through her mind to try and remember what had happened while she wiped off streams of diarrhea from her face & lips. Flashbacks of torture, sex, poop eating, came racing back to her in movie like images inside her fuked up head. She tried to block it out. Just block it all out like she had done with all her problems through most of her life.The stench in the crappy little motel room was too much for her nostrils to handle. She let out a gagging throat slit cow gargling snarling pig like sound, putting her hand to her mouth, trying to hold it back. Projectile vomit came shooting through the cracks in her fingers until she sprayed the entire wall with 3 pounds of yellowish orange shit colored vomit chunks that slipped down the wall in slow motion color…. like some genius rejected art masterpiece of stomach juiced slime.Gina went outside to the trunk of her car. She brought in a large duffle bag. Inside the duffle bag were hacks saws, razor sharp sling blades, ropes, ky jelly, massive hunting knives and a small chain saw. She started on his fat stubby left leg with a hacksaw. She began digging it into his flesh as blood spurted everywhere. When she hit the bone she began feverishly sawing as hard as her 100-pound frame could. Her thin straw like meth riddled arms; sweat dripping down her crazed blue eyes to her constantly moving jaw.She had shot the last of her tweak right before the body chopping began. Her pupils huge with the job at hand. She could not leave any evidence. Not like last time. Last time she was too sloppy and the pigs were on to her. Fireworks kept going off outside for the fourth of July. Every time she heard an exploding firework, a paranoid feeling would come over her and she would rush to the window, peeking out the blinds, looking up at the colorful humid sky.She had most of his body in plastic black garbage bags after a few hours of work. All that was left was his torso and his pale blue face. Blood dripping down one side of his open dry lips.The john’s eyes still wide open frozen in some sort of shock.Gina looked into his eyes, grabbed his hair and began rubbing her bloody naked breasts into the dead mans face as she wept."Oh god, oh god, oh god, I can see the light of the future through each of my killings, and I know lord, I just know, I’m doing your requested work…" she sobbed, sticking one of her hard nipples into the dead johns open mouth.She hacked his head off next and loaded that into a cooler full of ice and put his torso into another black garbage bag and tied it up. Gina began loading the body parts into the trunk of her shitty car. The summer sun beat down unforgiving. It was about 115 out this day. The kind of sticky hot weather where people don’t want to leave their air-conditioned apartments. Where you step outside for 5 minutes and your shirt is soaking wet, glued to your hot body. The world was melting. The world was getting hotter each year.Gina pulled out onto the main avenue, her hands trembling, she babbled off old catholic prayers to herself she had learned while a catholic schoolgirl 20 years ago.As luck would have it a fuking state trooper pulled out of a street corner right behind her. Tail gaiting her. She reached under her seat for her loaded 357 just incase the dumb cop decided to pull her over. It wouldn’t be the first cop she had to kill. Her tweaking eyes darted back and forth in the rear view mirror as she watched her speed and tried to drive as straight as she could. After a few blocks the dumb ignorant hillbilly cop pulled off down another drug infested side road to go fuk with some black poverty ridden crack dealers who were just trying to make an honest living.Gina scratched her sweaty STD infested crotch and hit the freeway. She got off on an old farm road and pulled up to an empty ghost like Catholic Church out in the boonies where the priest who use to molest her growing up still worked and gave Sunday mass.She worked quickly, grabbing the hefty bags from her trunk and dumping them on the front door step of the church until her trunk was empty. Gina then grabbed john’s head from her ice cooler. She wrote a note on pink paper that read. "Oh father, oh holy one? I have killed another one just for you!"She stapled the note to his bleeding forehead and impaled the head through an iron pole near the steps of the old church.She got back in her car and burned rubber out of there. Gina drove to the truck stop up in the Mountains. She was late for her shift. She was a stripper at the small dinky strip club behind the truck stop called, ‘A Trucker’s paradise.’She lit a smoke as she pulled up. She stared at all the slimy truckers who were parked at the truck stop. She stared at their purring engines & all the logos and different colors of their trucks.She hated truckers. They were the scum of the earth as far as she was concerned. Nothing but southern hillbilly uneducated perverted animals with no morals or conscious. She doubted most of them could even read. Gina despised men, but she hated truckers the most. With their smelly fat bodies drunk every night trying to shove dollar bills down her thong while they ‘yee hawed!’ at the moon and tried their hardest to cheat on their toothless white trash wives far away in some other state.Gina walked to the front doors of her stripper job. A skinny weird looking dude with an offset somewhat deformed face was taking the final drag off his cigarette outside the strip club.Gina didn’t think he was a trucker. He didn’t look like the average trucker. Something about the way his greasy half long black hair covered one side of his face sort of intrigued her.The odd hunched over man walked to the front door and opened it for Gina, not saying a word, just sort of staring into her eyes and giving her a crooked smirk.His name was Roscoe. Roscoe Martini to be exact.And he was a trucker, not a true trucker at heart, but he was a traveler, a soul-wandering traveler of the United States map. To him life was one big adventure each day. He was really just sort of a fuk up in life who some how had the cracked out idea one day to become a truck driver. 3 months after that thought he was driving his companies 200 thousand dollar big rig down the freeways of America exploring places he had only heard of. He only drove his big rig as much as he had to so they wouldn’t fire him. He had always been a slacker no matter what kind of work he was doing. The less work the better life is was his philosophy. Most days after a few hours driving, maybe five or 7 tops, he would stop in some new town, some new state, some new city, with new people, and he’d find a bar and do what he did. He mostly liked to watch other humans. He was always taking mental notes in his head about people for later on when he pounded away on a keyboard in the back of his dark lonely truck at night as whiskey filled his blood."Thanks," she said, staring into his face.He lifted his arms to the air and said.."The world is yours my beautiful queen."She sort of gave an uncomfortable laugh and went into her dressing room to get into her stripper outfit and snort some more meth or hopefully some coke. All the other strippers would usually have something when Gina was running low. Share and share a like. It was a small town. Tight nit crew of people that all seemed to look out for one another. Everybody knew everybody’s business. They didn’t like out of towner’s poking around. Even the cops in this town were always high as fuk on methamphetimines. Shit. 95 percent of the town was on some sort of drug. Either stoned on super hydro weed, or on uppers, or drunk on pills. The town was like their own little twilight zone utopia of drug abuse hidden and kept somewhat secret from the rest of the world. It was sort of a backwoods type place at first glance, up in the green lush mountains. A real creepy vibe. That was their main rule. Only deal with locals and keep your mouth shut about the secrets of the town.Gina snorted three gigantic lines of meth up her rotting nose, she had no time to try and mess with a needle to find a vein.Her sleazy heavy industrial song came on and some creepy looking DJ with a slick 70’s fu man chu who was wearing a polyester jump suit slurred into the microphone…"Lets give a warm welcome all you truckers.. To Crystal!"That was Gina’s stripper name..She came out and started doing this sexy cat like dance around the stage rubbing her tits and her pussy while she slid up and down the pole, her mind wanting nothing but these scum bags money.Every time she looked at a man she imagined what it would be like to kill him and chop him up and make pancakes out of his intestines.That odd looking dude, who always looked out of place where ever he went, Roscoe, was sitting right up front near the stage with a handful of one dollar bills, and fives, and tens. Roscoe had just got paid the day before. He was bi polar. They use to try and tell him he was schizophrenic too, but he knew he wasn’t. He felt great with out his meds. Whenever he had money he would spend it all right away in some drunken drugged out daze. He could never save money. Never. Many times he’d wake up the next day all hung over and puking promising himself he’d quit drinking. He’d open his wallet and it would be empty and he would begin to panic and cry. Being broke for another two weeks. Living off ramen and sometimes running out of truck stop restaurants with out paying the bill.Roscoe would realize that if he didn’t hurry up the load he was pulling in his trailer would never make it on time to its weird back woods town. Always in some weird state out in the middle of nowhere. Sometimes he would drive through these rinky-dink little towns and wonder how people could end up there and why they would stay. Many times he was an unwelcomed guest at the local bar. Looking into his whisky glass. Never attempting to speak to any of the locals who glared back at him wondering if he was an outer space alien. He’d drive down the freeway sometimes in the slow lane puking into a trash can or dry heaving for miles and miles when he was hungover, swerving all over the lanes as other truckers talked shit to him over the CB.Most days he’d listen to music for hours & hours as he traveled through many state lines.For some reason this Roscoe guy thought life was one big crazy comedy mixed with a never-ending nightmare. He saw himself as living in some sort of movie. He thought he was the star actor in this imaginary movie that only he had a ticket for.Roscoe would also carry on long conversations with him self sometimes while driving. Sometimes up to four or 7 different characters from his head would all start carrying on a conversation in different voices out loud. Sometimes he would record these conversations on his mini tape recorder. But he was always too scared to listen to them later unless he was shit face wasted on booze or drugs.Ok, back to the strip club. So Gina came right up to Roscoe’s weird off set drunken face and began breathing into his ears getting him all hot and horny. He shoved bills down her thong as some huge security guard stood next to Roscoe eyeing him. Waiting for him to make one bad move so he could throw him out. Roscoe had been thrown out of too many strip clubs as of late, and too many bars.. He made sure he didn’t touch her in anyway. Just carefully put the bills down her thong when she opened it."Thanks baby, I think I love you, care for a couch dance?" Crystal whispered in Roscoe’s ear.Roscoe looked deep into her pale blue eyes and suddenly he saw. Images of Gina killing men, chopping them up, drinking their blood, screaming at the night sky…Roscoe had that third eye thing. Ever since he was young. He had visions and could see into people’s true souls.His hands began shaking, while Gina flaunted her big gapping vaginal shaved hole in front of his eyes.Roscoe stood up, and quickly went to sit at the bar, away from her.His hands were shaking as he ordered another double cranberry and vodka."You ok sweet thang? Looks like you just seen a ghost?"this mullet headed bartender lady asked with a huge protruding stretch marked pregnant gut."Drink please, drink please." Roscoe managed to stutter, his hands and legs shaking like crazy.He slugged down his drink. He felt her presence behind him, looking into the back of his head.He turned around and stared at Gina. More visions came of chaos, screaming animals locked in a barb wire fence starving, a shed where she kept human body parts, some sort of sewing machine where she made skin suits. Hefty bags stuffed with body parts,"Still think I’m a beauty queen Mr.? And how bout that couch dance?" She said, grinding her jaw all over the place, slowly reaching out and stroking Roscoe’s skinny pale arm.Roscoe didn’t respond. He turned away from her and ordered 4 shots of tequila. Guzzling down 2 quickly. Gina sat next to him, somewhat fascinated with a man for the first time in 15 years.She stared at him as his shaky hands reached for another shot."What’s a matter?" cant you speak? You a deaf mute or what!" Gina bellowed out, burping..Roscoe looked her straight in the eyes, lit a cig for her, and slid the final shot over to her, not saying a word, just sort of giving her another crooked smirk.That’s when a huge fight broke out between that gigantic black security guard and some loud mouth beer bellied trucker in over alls. They tackled each other across the floor into all the stools, and knocked Roscoe flying off his stool. Somehow the grizzly adams looking white trash trucker ended up on top of the security guard."Fuk wit me ya dam niggah! Come on boy! I’ll slap the living shit out of ya black ass!" the trucker yelled, while his hands rained down punches on the squirming security guard.Gina grabbed her stool, and casually walked over to where they were fighting. She clobbered it over the hillbilly’s head. There was this loud cracking sound that could be heard over the music like a gunshot. The big greasy drunken truckers body went limp and he went face first into the floor.Roscoe assumed the guy was dead. Blood began pouring out of the huge hole on the top of his head and that’s when polyester DJ man killed the music.One albino black stripper who looked like she had been living off meth and cigarettes for the last ten years let out this horrid ear-screeching scream.Most of the horny drunken truckers decided to get the fuk out of there and go pass out in their trucks. Truckers don’t like cops. And sure enough that ugly pregnant bartender was on the phone calling 911 with some putrid frown on her eroding meth face of acne.The big goofy black security guard came up to Gina."Danks, I owe doos one." I think he meant to say thanks but had some kind of clef pallet going on or something strange.Besides the strippers running around freaking out, there was only Roscoe left in the place and one other dork. He looked like one of those clean cut non-drinking no drug taking professional type of trucker. One of those guys who takes his job way to seriously, like he is some huge asset to society. He was busy putting his shirt underneath the grizzly Adams dudes bleeding melon. I took a closer look at the guys bleeding head and Roscoe could see little particles of brain matter starting to throb out of his cracked open skull.Gina just stood there calm as could be smoking her cigarette.She came right up to Roscoe’s face, and more images of her secret life began flashing before him like some nightmarish slide show."How bout that couch dance now?" she whispered into his ear in a real slow sexy voice. She stuck her tongue down his ear before she pulled away. He instantly got a hard on."Sure. Why not?"She grabbed his hand and they walked off into some dark corner of the place where they had these red silky couches and dimly lit strobe lights on the ceiling.The other strippers, security man, dork trucker, all stood around the bar arguing about what they were going to tell the cops. Gina wasted no time getting on top of Roscoe and gyrating her vaginal muscles into his hard on while she rubbed her milk white breasts into his weird drunken face.She turned around and stuck her perfectly formed ass a few inches from his nose and Roscoe took in a deep smell through his nostrils. Gina smelled like honey strawberries mixed with dank stinky meth sweat.Roscoe whispered in her ear.."Aren’t you worried about the cops coming, what are you gonna tell them?""Oh baby, I never worry, I blow half the cops in this town, plus I was only protecting a fellow employee. They can’t do anything to Princess Crystal. Now relax baby. Let your dick do all the thinking and let your mind go blank and enjoy."It was dark where Roscoe was getting his couch dance. He couldn’t get a good look at her eyes, which was for the best. It’s only in the light and when he looks deep into someone’s eyes that he gets the images of who they really are."You can touch me if you want" Crystal told him."You sure?""Sure baby, something about you really turns me on." She said, licking his forehead slowly, her tongue making its way down to Roscoe’s eager lips.They embraced in a wet sloppy kiss. Roscoe’s hands began feeling her all over and she let out a sexy moan like she was getting wet.Roscoe began reaching for her shaved vagina, sticking a few fingers in her slimy love canal."I want you inside me." She told him.That’s when two cops came into the strip club and began questioning people as to what happened to the bleeding trucker on the floor."Shit, guess we better head over there and talk to them." Gina said, removing his fingers from inside her.Gina walked away, turned around to look at Roscoe, and blew him a kiss. He just sat there with some dumbfounded look on his creepy face. Massive hard on bulging from his jeans.Roscoe didn’t want to walk over there till his hard on went down.He was paranoid about the silliest things.So he just sat there thinking of boring shit to try and make it go down. He thought of baseball, golf, algebra problems, hiking. It still wasn’t going down so he brought out the big guns. He thought of a 97 year old lady with globs of cellulite spread eagle on a bed with vomit all over her crotch as a double headed mutant eel came squirming out of her vagina, while she begged Roscoe for some hard cock in her encrusted dieing saggy brown hole that smelled like three week old rotting gorilla turds.His hard on went down right away and he stood up.The paramedics arrived and began doing what they do."He still has a pulse!" one of them yelled. They loaded him onto a stretcher, wrapping his head up in gauze. That super trucker dorko professional guy kept telling the paramedics how he was putting pressure on his head to stop the bleeding. He told them about 5 times, like he wanted some sort of good human of the year award.Roscoe sort of stood in the background sucking on peoples drinks they had left sitting at all the tables. Free Booze. What could be better? Trying to ease drop on what Gina and one of the cops was talking about. She whispered something in the pig’s ear, licking it, and the ugly cop got this ridiculous grin on his face. He wrote down the police report, slapped Gina on the ass, and him and his inbred looking partner were gone.A few bearded smelly truckers entered the place. More and more truckers started piling back into the strip club. The music started again and some bleach blonde over weight stripper with a dumb cowboy hat on was up on the stage dancing around to some awful country song. Her massive boobs flopping all around, while retarded truckers began yelling out hillbilly gibberish yowls.Roscoe looked around for that crazy serial killing Gina, but she seemed to have disappeared into the back dressing rooms.Whatever, Roscoe thought to himself, sitting back down on a stool at the bar and ordering a double jack and coke.That super dork trucker sat next to Roscoe and tried to start up a conversation."Wild night tonight hey there buddy?"Roscoe didn’t even look at him; he just stared down at his drink."So you a truck driver too?" the dork asked."Fuk! Look man, I aint up for any mundane chit chat, so just fuk off and go sit somewhere else!" Roscoe screamed at the man."Hey pal! I was just trying to be friendly! You know what! Fuk you! You got a problem with me?" the dork screamed, throwing his stool to the side & getting in some sort of karate stance."You wanna try me! Eh? Anytime your ready pal!" he yelled.Roscoe was a little stunned, but also didn’t mind a good fight when he was all plastered on liquor.Roscoe slugged down the rest of his drink and went to stand up off the stool but fell backwards in some awkward drunken stupor, hitting his head on the floor.The big security guard came up at that point and grabbed that dork by the shirt and started moving him forcefully to the front door."He’s the one that started it! He started it! Not me!" the creep yelled, like some second grader.Roscoe lie there on the floor for a minute feeling like an idiot. Gina came up to him and held out her hand to help him up."Feeling a little buzzed?" she asked him.Roscoe’s head started spinning right after she said that. The last thing he wanted to do was puke all over. He tried to trick his brain into thinking that he was not drunk at all and that the entire place was not spinning.Roscoe and Gina sat talking and drinking more."Come with me." Gina said, grabbing his hand and walking him off into some back room behind closed doors.It was this secret little room with a king sized bed and mirrors all over the walls and ceiling."You need a little pick me up?" she asked him."Uh, sure man." Roscoe said.She pulled out a nice sized bag of meth from one of her long blue zip up hooker boots. They snorted some hefty lines off a marble table."Tell me about you?" Gina asked.Roscoe felt that instant chemical drain down his throat & was now wide-awake and his head spins were gone."Not much to tell. I’m a traveling man.""Are you a trucker?""Sort of, I mean that’s what I do for money but I’m not all gung ho about it like most of these truckers.""Where are you from?" she asked, while gently guiding him over to the bed."No where and everywhere," he said smiling."Do you want to know anything about me before we fuk?" she asked him."I already know plenty about you." He answered."How so?" she asked."I’ll tell you later," he said, grabbing her body and rolling her onto the bed."What is your real name?" he asked her."GINA." She replied in some sort of voice that was not hers.Roscoe just decided to ignore it. Thinking his mind was just playing tricks on him.Before Roscoe even had a chance to get his pants down, she was already ripping them off of him. Her eyes focused on his throbbing veiny hard on. Her lips wrapped around it. She began sucking like crazy. Like a pro. She got on top of him and slid it in her with no rubber. She began bouncing up and down and moaning really loud. Roscoe let out a few weird grunts."Please don’t look at me while we do it, ok." He told her."But why?" she asked, still bouncing on him."Because when I look into your eyes I see things.""What kind of things?""Look, just don’t look into my eyes, ok?""Fine!" she screamed, turning her head to look up at the mirror ceiling."He’s just a pig, a no good man pig, like all the rest of them!" her voice screamed, only it wasn’t her voice, it sounded like some kind of bizarre evil mans voice.It frightened the shit out of Roscoe."Hey, what did you just say?" he asked her, as she moaned more and more, bouncing like crazy."Nothing at all." She responded in her normal voice."You crazy bitch, come on! Ride me!"He flipped her over onto her back and began pounding away on top of her."Don’t look at me! I told you!"She turned her head to the side."He’s a filthy man pig who needs to join the others!"She screamed in that scary deep man voice again."You really are fuking crazy! I love it!" he yelled."Give it to me, give it to me!" she bellowed in her normal voice.After another ten minutes they both came at the same time, in perfect harmony. Their sweat drenched naked bodies lying next to each other. They lit cigarettes and stared up at themselves in the mirror.Roscoe began getting more paranoid than usual probably because of the meth he did. He started having images of his dick turning green and falling off in a few days. I mean why didn’t I just use a rubber! He began to yell at himself in his head.His mind started thinking about the fact she was a crazy serial killer who seemed to be possessed by some sort of fuked up entity. He wondered if she was going to try and kill him now.She got up and went to the bathroom."Where are you going! What are you doing!" he demanded."Relax you freak, I have to take a shit after all that exercise."Something about her fascinated him. He always liked dangerous crazy women. But this woman had to be one of the craziest. He wanted to walk away from her. Walk out of this dam strip club. Drive away and never come back. But it was like she was some sort of magnet now, sucking his soul into her deeper and deeper.Roscoe quickly got off the bed and began getting dressed in somewhat of a panic. His heart was racing way to fast and his mind was getting more and more paranoid. He thought he was having some sort of panic attack. He kept seeing images of his unhealthy heart beating so fast that it exploded. "Calm down dude, just take some deep breathes." He mumbled to himself.She came out of the bathroom, still nude and went right up to his face and looked in his eyes."I’m looking at your eyes freak boy! I’m looking in them!" she yelled, and let out some psychotic laugh.Roscoe’s slide show started and he saw her cooking up testicles, he saw her running naked through the dark woods and speaking in tongues. He saw her slicing a razor blade into a pumpkin over and over, and the pumpkin had ‘Daddy’ written on it in big letters. He saw her digging shallow graves in her tomato garden, while she dragged out big black hefty bags from some torture shed."I gotta get the fuk out of here. It was nice meeting you. I really have to get going." Roscoe stuttered."You asshole, just fuk and run hey, is that how it is?"She blurted out."No, I had a great time, but really I got to get going.""No problem asshole, and by the way if you have a burning sensation in your dick, or if you start having painful yellow fluid discharge from it, don’t worry. Its just syphilis. Oh, and another thing, welcome to the wonderful world of herpes, hepatitis, and HIV asshole!"Roscoe stood there shaking. A feeling of complete dread came over him. He felt sick to his stomach. His Dick had a sudden sharp pain shoot through it."You fuking bitch! You are dead! I swear you are a dead bitch! I’m gonna chop you up like you did to all those men! You hear me!" he shouted."Man pig Man pig Man pig! Always get what they deserve!"She yelled in that horrible monster man evil voice.Roscoe ran from the strip club. He curled up on his truck bed in a fetal position and began weeping. Streams of puke came gushing from his mouth like some broken fire hydrant. It sprayed all over his truck walls but he didn’t care. His life was over. That Gina had purposely given him all sorts of diseases. Another sharp pain shot through the center of his dick. His balls began burning. He couldn’t stop scratching them. She probably gave you crabs to. A voice in his head said.He knew what he had to do. He had to kill her. He had no other choice. He would be saving countless lives by doing this. He would be honored as a hero once the cops went to her place and found all the bodies. She had to go.Roscoe pulled out a long razor sharp hunting knife from under his bed and began plotting his plan out. I can’t do this. A voice inside his head said. You have to do this you pussy! And you will do it! Another voice in his head told him.He pushed play on his mini tape recorder and listened to all the different people from inside his head having discussions about how he had stopped taking all his medications."You all shut up!" he yelled at the tape recorder, smashing it with his foot.Roscoe dressed himself in black. He walked over to Gina’s car and the back door was unlocked. He climbed in and curled up on the floor, waiting.The voices in his head all started talking out loud. All these different sounding people, from a little girl, to an old wise man, to a scared infant crying."Shut up! Shut up! All of you!" he screamed.Some how he fell asleep. He was awakened by the sound of Gina opening her door and the rattle of keys.He grabbed the back of her hair and yanked back hard on her head. Roscoe sliced her throat clear in half. Almost decapitating her the blade went in so deep. Her mouth kept making these gargling drowning sounds. Blood spit up from her mouth spraying her windshield. Her body went into a few spasms and it was over.He went back to his truck and passed out with blood still all over his hands and arms. He had horrible nightmares about Gina. She was torturing him in her shed with different torture devices while she screamed ‘Man Scum!’ at him.Roscoe awoke to a loud violent pounding on his truck window."This is the police! Stick your hands out the truck window now! Or we are throwing in tear gas canisters! Comply with our demands now! Stick your hands out the window where we can see them!"Oh fuk. He said."OK! OK I’m going to stick my hands out now!"Roscoe took down his window curtains. There were about 15 police cars and cops all over with guns drawn. Swat team sharp shooters on top of the truck stop roof with rifles pointed at him.Roscoe slowly rolled down his window and stuck his dried blood ridden hands out. About ten cops swarmed the window and bashed the door open. They pulled him out of the truck and threw him on the ground. Their knees digging into his back. They clamped the cuffs on so tight that they broke one of his wrists."Sick freak!" one of the cops yelled at him, as they stood him up.Another one spit in his face."I’m a hero you assholes! Just you wait and see! I stopped her! You stupid pigs don’t know shit! Just you all wait and see!"Roscoe screamed. They shoved him in the back of a police car and drove him off. Roscoe stared out the window of the car at a huge crowd that had gathered outside the truck stop.Truckers yelled at him."Murderer! Sick Asshole! Give him the death penalty!"Roscoe couldn’t wait till he got to talk to a lawyer. The dumb pig detectives hounded him for hours, day turned to night, to day again. They refused to let him sleep until he told them some information on why he did it."All I’m going to say is what I told you 15 hours ago. I was doing the world a favor by getting rid of her. It will all come out soon enough when you search her house and land. Now I’m not saying anything else till I speak with my lawyer!"This big fat cop in a sweaty dress shirt and crumpled tie got right in Roscoe’s face. He looked into his eyes and Roscoe saw this man jerking off to beastiality porn. Roscoe saw this man raping the family dog while dressed in a pink tutu. He saw this man sneaking into zoos at night and molesting the baby elephants."I just want to tell you one thing you low life punk! You are a worthless piece of shit and the state is going to fry your ass!"The cop spit a huge green lung cookie into Roscoe’s eyes.Just as the cop was about to leave the room Roscoe began laughing like a mad man."I like your pink tutu you dog raping fuk!"The cop just looked at him like he was insane."What the fuk you say!" the cop yelled."You heard me you lassie humping sicko!""Piece of shit! That’s all you are boy! A piece of shit!"The cop screamed, slamming the door behind him.Roscoe finally got to speak to his lawyer. His lawyer was a tall Jewish man with pointy glasses and some sort of nervous twitch. Roscoe didn’t care for the man right off the bat. But Roscoe told him everything. About how Gina was a mass serial killer and how she was possessed. He begged the lawyer to please send some cops to her place to find the bodies. The lawyer adjusted his glasses and looked somewhat frightened of Roscoe. Roscoe looked into his eyes. He saw this man dancing at home in a ballerina outfit. He saw him plucking hairs from his legs for hours at a time while whistling to the moon. He saw this man sticking a douche inside his vagina hole, which was right next to his dick."Please sir! Just please send some cops out to where she lived and you will see!"The lawyer’s nose twitched and his eyes sort of spastically flickered. He adjusted his glasses."Roscoe. The police have already been out there days ago. There are no bodies. There are no torture sheds. There are no skin suits or anything. No hefty bags. You do realize that this is a tight nit community and that we look out for our own? Now lets talk about a possible insanity defense. I understand you are suppose to be on medication and you stopped taking it, correct?""What the fuk you mean there’s no bodies! And I don’t need that dam medication anymore! She was a mass serial killer! I’m telling you! Why wont you people believe me!"Roscoe grabbed the lawyer by his throat. Two guards quickly tackled Roscoe and began beating him."I am not insane! You people are playing games with my head! I am not insane!"The guards dragged him off back to his cell where he would become catatonic in the weeks to come. He stopped eating and speaking. Rubbed his own feces all over his body and face. He just stared at his cell wall seeing the entire towns eyeballs glaring back at him.
　
by nrm

William Dongleberry and snookims

mr dongleberry awoke from his slumber at 6 o-clock in the morning. It sounded like someone was throwing huge boulders into an empty dumpster just outside his window.He peeked out his window and saw these Mexican workers doing something in the dumpster. Banging away with hammers while they slammed bricks around inside the dumpster.William hated being woken up. He didn’t even like to be awake at all. He preferred to just try and sleep his life away. He put on his pink bathrobe and his daffy duck slippers and headed down stairs to confront the men.He marched right up to them."Excuse me! Seniors! What on gods earth are you doing!"The Mexicans looked at each other puzzled and just ignored him. They went back to hammering things into the dumpster and slamming bricks around."Hey! Seniors! What in the Fuk are you fools doing! People are trying to sleep around here! Hello? do you speak English?"One of the fatter Mexicans threw his hammer down."WE here doing a job! Ok! Now go away!""How dare you!" Mr. Dongleberry barked.He marched back up to his apartment and dialed 911."What is your emergency?" this lady asked in some nasal ridden voice."There are illegal immigrants outside my apartment making a ruckus and I was trying to sleep!""Sir, that is not an emergency, why did you call 911 sir?""I just told you! Send some police right away! It is so an emergency, and don’t get snippy with me young lady!""Sir, I’m going to hang up now, and please don’t call 911 unless you have an emergency." She hung up.William was infuriated now!"I will call the police myself!" he screamed.His little pampered poodle lie on the couch wishing he could talk so he could tell him what a fuking idiot he was."Can you believe the nerve of some people Mr. Snookims?"His dog stared back at him, thinking how much he hated that stupid name William called him by.He called the police and they said they would send a patrol car by to check it out.William waited. He waited some more. After about an hour the Mexicans all loaded up into the back of a pick up truck and drove off. Just as they did the patrol car pulled up and this slick looking body builder cop stepped out of his car and walked up to Williams apartment.William had his door open and ready."Well it’s about time officer! You just missed them. They been making noise for the last 2 hours!"The cop got real close up to Mr. Dongleberrys face, and flipped his shades up."Sir? Who and what are you talking about?"Mr. Snookims lie on the couch growling at the officer."Shush Snookims!""OK, let me spell this out for you. Obviously police are not the brightest people in the world with your silly two-year college degrees. There were a bunch of illegal Mexicans in that dumpster all morning making dreadfully loud noises non stop and I want them arrested!"The officer stepped into Williams’s apartment. The shitty little poodle ran off the couch and began biting the cop’s leg.The cop kicked it across the room and it went flying into a wall and whimpered off under the couch."How dare you kick my dog sir!"The cop grabbed William by his neck and lifted him off the ground choking him."You listen to me you fairy creeped out fruitcake. It’s people like you that make my job almost unbearable. Now if you ever call the police again for such nonsense I will personally come back over here and shove that poodle down your throat!" the cop yelled, dropping William to the floor.William gasped for breath clutching his throat, crawling on the floor over towards Mr. Snookims.William curled up with his dog on the floor and began weeping."You got anything to eat in that fridge? I’m hungry" the cop said, walking over to the fridge.William quickly reached way under the couch for his gun.The dumb cop opened the fridge and saw two human heads staring back at him surrounded in pineapples."What the fuk?" the cop said, turning to look at William and his dog.Mr. Dongleberry quickly shot the officer right between the eyes. The cops muscle bound body dropped to the apartment floor.The dog ran over to the cop and started licking up the blood."Why don’t people ever learn Mr. Snookims?""Woof Woof!" the dog responded with blood all over his white poodle chin."Oh my, look at this mess with have to clean up now Mr. Snookims."William began to undress the dead officer."Oh my gawd Mr. Snookims, no wonder this man was so angry. He is hung like mouse. I have seen bigger dicks on newborn babies. My goodness." He put the cop uniform on and stared at himself in the bathroom mirror."My, I must say I love a man in uniform," he snickered.He got the cops keys and went and started up the patrol car. William drove down the street in search of the Mexicans who had woken him up.After a couple blocks he saw them at some other apartment complex in the dumpster making noise.He pulled up in the squad car, loaded the dead officers shot gun up. Plus he had the officer’s handgun.He walked up to the Mexicans and without a word began shooting them one by one. Once they were all dead, he walked down the street, got on the bus and went home.He dragged the dead officer’s body into his bathtub and began cutting it up with a huge saw while the dog watched.Bugs bunny was blasting from his small TV.William dipped the officer’s heart in some flour and deep-fried it in some Crisco. He cut a foot off for Snookims and let him gnaw on that all night.William repeatedly watched cartoons all night long while he hummed Barry Manilow tunes to his poodle.Mr. Dongleberry slept great that night. He even slept in most of the next day all curled up with his doggie.Every news channel was talking about the missing officer and the slaughtered Mexicans. A massive investigation was going on in search of the killer. William never watched the news. Only cartoons.
　
　
by nrm

Loony bin (part 1)

Telekinesis Armageddon cosmic over flow lights a small fuse in this universe I have created in my head where I can have late night conversations with childhood friends when I’m in that sleep yet awake state- until I realize there is someone there actually conversing with me & when that reality hits I will ask them "Are you still there?" but they wont be, you see, cause as soon as one’s mind clicks into the fact of what is going on that is when the conversation is lost- 2012 the kid knew who drank a ton of belladonna- he knew the score, & so did that guy Max who never showered until they forced him to- with a beard down to his balls- he never spoke a word even tho everyday I’d say "Hey Max! What’s happening, great day today aint it?"I stared at a cup of juice for 5 hours once & the staff was getting concerned, I could not & would not speak to anyone while I went into this trance like state where nothing mattered but me staring at that cup of juice, & inside my mind I saw with my eyes that juice finally begin to boil & that’s when I came out of the trance.hang around a bunch of lunatics long enough you will start acting like one- it’s like a feral child being raised by a pack of dogs that walks on all fours and barks and acts like a dog- any environment one is in will rub that energy off in one way or another until the conscious mind excepts that as normality- for instance I now know I do have friends to speak to as night falls-they may not be people you or somebody else can hear but I hear them perfectly clear now-5 points to the darkened sun when Yosemite explodes after the earth’s massive quakes melt & burn anything with lungs & you can scrub your soul all you want with bleach but that smell you now see, taste, and hear will stay around one’s aura like a volcanic fire ball of circling worms that out stretch from the inner hole of a brain damaged poetic urine fountain- the seven seals of revelation come like a tidal wave of bursting unpredictable showers of fire- your medications to make me a zombie are no longer needed because when I stare into the sun & make my mind as blank as a lobotomy patient- I can feel every sound or every star that explodes in the never ending black holes of an emotion galaxy inside another universe with in the sanctity of simple breathing- I can feel invisible sand morsels surrounding my feet in a hot summer day while distant ocean waves slowly come to this new shore of enlightenment- we can feel the cat itching it’s fleas while it cleans it’s over fed belly now that the tree stumps have been cut down to mind sized elements of a future that no longer matters.My friend Antonio in the mental ward who was a confused pedophile who could barely speak English could turn into a monkey as soon as I said "ewe, ewe, ahh ahh…"& every time- he would have me rolling around on the ground in hysterical laughter- & that substitute doctor who thought she knew it all trying to cut my Prozac in half while not believing my shaking hands anymore after the fourth day of non stop Librium doses that put me in such a state where all I wanted to do was make new colored drawings like some whacked out third grader non stop- Antonio & others would draw with me and Antonio wrote down a movie he was going to direct with all these alien crafts up in the air. He told me it would be called"Bank Stony tee and the funky family tree movio the grandma Mexican American unknown kavino.""That’s a wonderful title for a movie." I’d respond.Certain staff members looked at us as if we were crazy, others seemed so use to any sort of behavior that came about they could never be surprised with whatever was going on- like the time this guy named Sam –an asian man- came into the TV room –pulled his shorts down & began shitting all over the tile floor while yelling some sort of gibberish in Japanese at the top of his lungs- others began to vomit from the smell but for some reason it smelled like fresh apricots to me- maybe I was starting to lose it for real- or maybe I already had-Sam was on constant suicide watch. Always a big black guard sitting outside his room with the door cracked staring at Sam laying in bed- it made me and the suicidal belladonna drinker roommate of mine wonder what the fuk Sam had done- so one time at lunch-if you can call their lunch food ( it was more like some mystery small portion of what looked and smelled like vomit every day, and a piece of bread) I lost 15 pounds in that place.Well. Suicidal belladonna drinker and me who were both obsessed with 2012- tried to spark up a conversation with Sam."So Sam? What’s your deal? Why are you in here?"He quietly looked up from his food and said…."It’s just a big misunderstanding, that’s all it is."We left it at that. But my mind began to wander, seeing him shoving sewing needles into his ear holes or something while he played Russian roulette with some ancient Japanese gun that was possessed by his grandpa who had killed himself after the war.My mind always thought things like this- maybe it was good I was in this funny farm- if they only had a sensible doctor that knew what she was doing- not this cunt who kept cutting all my medications that made me feel non suicidal- every time I had to look at her face and eyes or even come close to her I felt like splattering my brains all over the fuking walls & hopefully chunks of my brain matter would go flying into her stunned open mouth as I did it.Something about her was just wrong- she gave off that aura that she was so above everyone- like the time I tried to warn her about 2012 and she starts laughing at me saying she worries about what’s going on today, not what will happen in the future. But if we knew what was going to happen in the future it would affect us as to how we act today! I tried to tell her. She was so stupid and condescending-I told her one-day. "Don’t tell me what meds I need and don’t need, I practically have my PhD in medications- I know what makes me happy and what makes me angry-Everything you see around you is an illusion of an atmosphere that other people who have brainwashed you & the rest of society have inflated into this gigantic floating balloon of bullshit that you and most are all stuck in! & one day, with just one pinprick that fuking balloon is gonna pop! Understand! POP! And only than will you & the other robots understand any sort of meaning or truth or love! Understand!"She let out this snide smirky chuckle and whispered something to her assistant who seemed to be writing down everything I said.She made me so angry that I decided to let out this massive fart so that the entire session or whatever it was that we were having would end.So I did."BLLLLLffffffLUUUUUUUffffllRRRRRRRRRPPPPPP!"my butt cheeks ripped one out like a trumpet of belching rabbits being slaughtered all in synchronicity."That’s it MR. Martini! This session is over! Now get out of my office!"Her assistant covered her nose with her shirt and I started hysterically laughing at the looks on both their dumb faces.I walked towards the door & let out one tinier squealer-sounding fart just for good measure.I walked back out into the main room with the other loonies and Antonio came up to me and started acting like a monkey, and I was laughing so hard by that point that I just let out this huge scream of joy or insanity! I’m not sure what it was but I started tipping over chairs and running around in circles like a mad man as the staff of low IQ retards all chased me around trying to get me to stop.I had learned from some whacko they brought in the night before who went on a non-stop cursing fit of such vulgar insanity for hours at 3 a.m., that the crazier you acted the better drugs they would give you. Cause the next day that guy was stumbling around like a slobbering slow motion zombie. his eyes like half shut clueless brain dead glowing numbness.I wanted a big shot of whatever they had given him, and this would be the best way to go about getting it I assumed.I continued to run around in circles, tipping chairs over, and began screeching like a chicken or a rooster.."BEEEEEE GAAAWWWWK! BEEEEEEE GEEEEEEK !" I bellowed, while Antonio ran around doing his monkey impersonation right behind me. This one schizophrenic lady that was always walking around cursing and clapping her hands and singing religious hymns covered her ears and began letting out these horrid screams of pain.When they finally caught me, about five of the Mongoloids grabbed me and wrestled me to the ground and put me back in the straight jacket I seemed to have arrived in my first day there. They took me in this weird little room that was painted purple with doves flying around the walls with no windows. They all held me down and one of the goons brought out this huge needle filled with something. The mere sight of a needle filled with anything always brought a rush of excitement to my drug riddled junkie brain.Last thing I remember was that thing going into one of my few remaining veins & I woke up about 10 hours later feeling like everything was in slow motion and that all my limbs had turned into slippery spaghetti noodles."Feeling a little calmer today Mr. Martini?" this big black guy said opening the door. Only his voice was all slow and warped like some sort of fuked up drunken demon on Thorazine.My lips tried to answer but they were just big globs of jellyfish that wouldn’t form any sort of sentence. It felt like gallons of slobber was drooling down my chin. I had gotten just what I wanted, the less I felt, the more zombie-fried I became all the better was my reasoning. My manic mind & mood swings had to be shut down for long periods of time so that I could just stop thinking so much about so many things. I just wanted that feeling of nothing. Of such zonked out numbness that I wouldn’t even realize I was a human being anymore.

Jail Institutions or Death
by nrm

bynrmthe black guard dog lay next to me. he smells, he needs a bath. He's got greasy ears. but i can barely shower myself these days. i can stick my hair up into a Mohawk just from the dripping grease in it. I'm a slob with bad hygiene, my teeth in pictures look bright yellow so I never smile. the dog just farted and tried to act like he didn't. It smells terrible. I yelled at him but he just slightly lifted his head from wooden floor and went back to sleep.this morning I ate 100 milligrams of Prozac and five of my klonopins. is it normal to go through 60 klonopins in a few days. there are only about 9 left. I don't remember snorting or eating that many.I met this senile old psychiatrist who by the power of suggestion will seem to give me just about anything, got 30 ambiens too, but don't have money to fill, ambiens are fuking expensive, like 70 bucks for 30 of them with no insurance, i had to scam, pawn and swindle just to get my klonopins filled.I fed all three cats and most of them just licked at the soft food and walked away. what's wrong with them? now later when I try and feed it them they will know it's been open and not think it's fresh enough to eat.a friend of mine told me he heard once cats are apparently tripping on extacy all the time. I laughed telling him that was such bullshit. this kid is only 20 but has a knowledge of every drug possible. even more so than me. we did some 2CI the other day that made me half trip balls if only there was a little more of it. i hear it's still legal as well.I'm just about out of gas, have no money, no job, and I'm sick of being broke, no unemployment anymore, no food stamps. I applied at like 30 places yesterday when I was a little wired on adderal. why wont these ass holes hire me? I mean I am not applying for a senate seat. just give me 2 to 4 days to get any drugs out of my system since most places drug test these days. just a dishwashing job or pizza job or something. i mean yeah, I'm kinda funny looking but it's not like I'm rocky Dennis from the movie mask or anything. the economy really is fuked thanks to that ass hole Bush. so I'm a convicted drug felon, i didn't realize your not aloud to clean toilets because of a 3 year old possession charge with intent.a few weeks ago when I had money and was drunk I went to the bad part of town where black people hang around and hookers. they all stand around outside working on their cars making drug deals on their cell phones. all these streets are named after big cities like Detroit, or phoenix, it really is ghettosville. And white folk should not be coming around here period.I pulled up and said to one..."Hey man, can you help me out?""On what?" he asked, looking angry already."Just a 20 rock." I said, fearful."Sure, no problem, just pull over to that side of the street.I kept watching them in my rear view mirror and they kept staring back at me making cell phone calls, glaring at the stupid white boy.After about 10 minutes I started getting nervous and started my car up to leave, but one of them yelled to chill, it's on it's it's way.5 minutes later a state trooper pulls up with his partner. i just about shit a brick. I had needles in my car and used crack pipes.they came walking up to me, and the black guys started pointing at me narcing on what I was up to. those slimy no good afro motherfukers. why couldn't they have just told me to fuk off and leave!I stepped out of my car."lets see some ID sir," one of them said, looking me over real good. I was drunk too but was chewing on mint gum, always saves my ass.his partner chimed in..."Mind if we ask what you are doing parked here in a known drug area Mr. Martini?"my mind could come up with a million lies quickly if it had to."I was just having car trouble and I saw those guys over their working on cars so I asked them if they could help me with my car for 20 bucks.""Don't try and bullshit us Mr. Martini.""Yeah, we aint rookies," his partner chimed in."What's wrong with your car?" one asked."I don't know, it's old, may have just been over heating or something."I looked back at the Negroes who had framed me, and they were all watching with smiles on their faces. what dick heads, I mean for real, what fuking ass holes."You wouldn't happen to be here trying to buy some crack now would you?""No sir. I quit drugs years ago sir.""We don't belive a dam word your saying Mr. Martini. Will you give us consent to search your vehicle.oh hell no, i thought."No sir I wont, I have rights as well, and you will have to have probable cause or get a warrant. I know my rights.""Why are your hands shaking so much Mr. Martini?""Cause I take Prozac and drink too much coffee sir."I cant believe they didn't run my license and see that i was on felony drug charges.They both kinda looked at each other."We know you are full of shit Mr. Martini, but were giving you a break, now get the hell out of here now," he said, handing my lisence back."Thank you officers, thankyou so much."i would have been looking at a second felony and prison time in the big butt raping cages of some god awful place."Get the hell out of here now!" one yelled.my shaking hands started up the car and i cut down some side roads, contstantly looking in my rear veiw mirror for any more pigs. i grabbed my needles and crack pipe and threw them out the window. oh thank god i kept saying, crossing myself in the name of the father son and holy ghost.i promised that was my final warning and decided to start going back to NA meetings and go to chruch on sundays with mother.3 days later i was racing drunk down the freeway to go meet my normal connection.
　
　
　
　
　

the day the clown came
by nrm

she lost me when she started eating colored crayons claiming her poop would be beautiful with rainbow colors.she had been eating acid everyday like it was candy and I'm no drug counselor but I could see it was really making her already psychotic thoughts become into boiling versions of soon to erupt schizophrenia.her sentences never made sense anymore, it was all babble about the earths water and how to help the animals of the world after she took a boat ride to Egypt on an underwater spaceship, to save the dieing iguanas, who had now became gods. blabbering crazy girl talk, she thought she had these 2 monkeys around her all the time who were her spiritual guardians, one's name was Fedget, he was the male, and the female monkeys name was Elizabeth the third.i tried at times to coach her into not eating acid everyday but her parents were gone on a vacation for a month and she had no brothers or sisters, just me staying with her in this huge rich doctors house for a month. sometimes she would take steak knives and cut her hands and up her wrists, and when i tried to stop her once she called me a sissy and stuck the knife to my throat while chewing on acid and crayons. she would always be singing to. like some little kid songs only in an evil voice, jumping up and down saying... "lets do something fun today My beautiful Roscoe!"i had stopped taking the acid after she freaked me out one too many times. i need a mellow trip, not some paranoid worried trip about what she might do next. one time she came out in her dads business suit and his shoes and everything and came out with a pad and pen and she had written some long speech, and she stood at this podium statue like thing they had and she began.."Ladies and Gentleman, I'd like to thank you for all coming to this gathering to save the planet through telepathic thought patterns which we can all do through one conscious universe once we realize it can be done. the iguanas know we are coming through the underground tunnels and everything is being prepared for are arrival. These are my grad students who are helping me, this is Mr.Fedget, she pointed to her right telling him to take a bow, and here we have Elizabeth the third, please take a bow mam."i was sitting on her couch thinking about calling 911, but i decided to just keep sucking on this giant bottle of Swedish vodka her dad had in his liquor cabinet, and light one joint after another and watch her."MMMHHHMMMMM, excuse me, i didn't mean to be rude, this is the love of my life named Roscoe, lets all give him a big round of applause." there was just silence till she took out some crayons and started munching away on them.she went on..."this society is a brainwashed group of clowns and we all know clowns are not as funny as they think they are. Soon we will be having a clown come here to prove my point. I too can change into different versions of any animal I choose, especially colorful ones cause look how colorful my shit is. " she pulled down her underwear and began shitting all these crayolas out into her hand, her dog running up to lap some of it up. she held piece of it up for her invisible monkeys to eat as well, then threw a big chunk at me. I dodged it and freaked out a little.Look girl, you gotta get your head back on straight, you cant be eating crayons and talking about clowns and underwater vessels in Egypt to some iguana gods. she looked down at the ground sad, underwear still around her ankles."But I thought you said you loved me?" she sighed."I do, but just slow down on all the acid and get a grip on things for a little while, just smoke some of this weed for a while."Chicken shit back stabber. goat fuking Elvis imposter!" she yelled at me.That's when there was a knock on the door. She collapsed on the floor sucking her thumb and spitting up crayons."I'll get it honey, just wait right there on the floor."I peeked through the peek hole and sure enough it was a real live fuking clown face smiling back at me holding a bunch of balloons.made me panic, what had she done, really gone and called a clown to come to the house?I think she had already eaten three tabs this morning as she had that crazed acid look on her sweaty face."Sir, please go away, you got the wrong house, huge misunderstanding."I told him through the door."No. wrong house Mr.!"" a lady ordered me. PUFFY THE CLOWN CLOWN! FOR A CELBRATION!"that's when she sort of came out of her daze and puked up crayons and acid all over the pad she had been writing on and came running to the door."Is he here! oh Roscoe baby! let Mr. puffy the clown in! LET HIM IN I SAID" she said, getting evil and pushing past me and the door.she swung the door open and this 4foot 5 dwarf of a chubby little man all dressed as a clown with make up and said."You must be the lady I talked to on the phone! I'm here to entertain you!""Oh thank god, Roscoe here was boring me to death, come in come in."he started doing these stupid magic tricks with a hat and rabbit and all these other dumb ass silly balloon shaping things and making third grader jokes while my girl rolled around on the couch laughing her ass off.I slugged some more Swedish vodka down and could not believe that this girl I had met over a month who I thought I was falling in love with, maybe just cause she was so good looking, like an exotic Russian model, maybe she had lost her mind this quickly, or maybe there was something in her past I didn't know about. like she was bonkers to begin with.I did see some strange pictures of her and her father in S & M outfits on a red silk bed. but I tried to tell myself it must have just have been Halloween or something. but I knew there was something wrong. very wrong with this girl. no woman can be that beautiful and not be some kind of nutcase, plus she liked me, and I looked like an ugly toad.I saw that dam clown swallow a hit of acid and began to laugh. He was a dirty old pervert for sure. must have been around 68 under that make up, some old crazy hippy in clown make up had come and ruined everything. now those two were having more fun and leaving me out."Time for you to go now scruffy the clown or whatever your name is!"i said, getting angry."No , No honey i want to show Puffy my outline for the final days before i go to Egypt. just wait here, I'm taking him to my room to show him.I sat there with my face full of anger and booze, having all these horrible thoughts that she was going to take him back there and fuk his clowny brains out.After 15 minutes i couldn't take it anymore. I slammed open the room to her door and there it was. One of the sickest sights i could ever see. I almost barfed my vodka up right away.she had his clowny pants down around his ankles and was sucking him like a vacuum cleaner. he had this big grin under his clown make up grin.for a second i didn't know what to do. the thought of homicide came to mind, but i just started shaking..."Fuking Slut! i hope you choke on his cock and all those crayons you eat!"i yelled at her.she didn't even turn around.I grabbed all her dads booze i could carry and raced home in a fit of rage and anger. drank till i puked for hours, and then she starts calling me non stop at 3 in the morning leaving these weeping messages that she;'s gonna kill herself or something. I just turned my phone off and passed out.


cake sounds good

broken nails & screams come
from a mans upstairs window
he bangs away on an old sears guitar
where he has snorted 10 benzos
& all it brings on is wanting to sleep
klonopins are shit compared to xanax
got a script for 30 ambiens too
but no way to swindle up money
for them
if feel sluggish all the time
maybe that's a sign my body is giving out
people have heart attacks at 39, sometimes earlier
we can only hope and pray someday
made a vanilla cake
with graham cracker crumbs on top
along with this chocolate syrup
it wasn't even cooked and i took it out of oven
& i ate the entire thing
vanilla all over the dogs and cats
& floor when i put the spin things on to high
next day i had all this dried vanilla and chocolate
all crusted around my goatee
& i panicked for a second not knowing what it was
maybe it was that flesh eating disease.
but then i remember what i had done
all wobbling round on benzos
falling on my face, animals staring at me
no wonder i'm a fat fuk these days
　
Maximum Glorification
By nrm

Max looked down at his huge gut in disgust. He didn’t want that gut. It seemed to just keep getting bigger and bigger. He couldn’t stop eating. He use to be thin and in shape but ever since he started taking his new meds it felt like he was always hungry no matter how much he ate.He would rather stare at his weight bench and treadmill than actually use them. Max didn’t even have a job and he was 38 years old. He had no friends in the town he lived in. He lived with his grandmother. Max had a cat named Felix who was his best friend. Max wasn’t even sure half the time if the anti depressants were making him better or worse. When he got his bi weekly unemployment check he’d just waste it on hard booze and drugs. His grandmother still treated him like he was 12. Always asking where he went if he happened to go out for the night. Always accusing him of being on drugs.Max had many pipe dreams and plans that he never followed through with his entire life. It wasn’t long before he hardly left his grandmothers house at all. He started getting more and more paranoid about the outside world.He stopped taking showers. He’d just sit in his room staring at the useless TV. Max use to write short stories and paint with acrylics. It was his passion. Art and literature. But for some reason the last few years or so his mind had sort of run out of creative fuel for some reason.The only time he felt half way inspired to write anything was when he was drunk or on some good uppers or opiates. The meds he was on had killed his sexual drive, which was fine with him. He didn’t have enough self-esteem left to try and meet a woman. He really didn’t have much to offer a female. He had no money and no plan for his future. His dick didn’t really work anymore either.Sometimes he even thought his cat Felix didn’t really care for him. Max tried meditation, bouts of sobriety, religion; anything that he thought might help him feel better about things. Nothing seemed to work. He felt like there was something missing from his life. But he just didn’t know what.His Grandma came knocking on his door."Max? What are you doing in there all day long?" she asked, trying to open his locked door."Trying to figure out why I exist Grandma.""Max, I want you to take Bubbles on a walk today."Bubbles was his grandmothers annoying dog.Max didn’t respond. He despised taking that dog on walks. There were always other people out walking around all happy in the sunlight. Sometimes they would try and talk to Max, and Max was not a sociable person at all these days."Max! Max! Did you hear me?""Yes grandma, can I wait till tonight when it’s not so hot out?""Ok Max, but don’t forget. Bubbles will be waiting."Max nodded his head in despair and curled back up into his mattress."Fuking bubbles troubles doubles snuggles, gobbles, fuggles," he muttered, in some angry voice. A massive wave of depression shot through his entire being and he shivered. His mind kept trying to come up with some kind of plan. Some sort of job he could handle without wanting to blow his brains out after every shift. Something that would get him motivated again. Something to give him some sort of joy in his life.He contemplated suicide all the time but realized he would really hurt his family members by doing such an act. Plus he always thought, what if it’s even worse when you die?Where does ones soul go? What if all that heaven and hell stuff is the real deal? Max was raised catholic and he always wondered about death and religion.Max looked down at his gut again and poked it with a finger. He wished he had some money to get drunk or buy some cigarettes.Felix hardly even hung out with him anymore. Felix would just chill in another room and ignore Max most of the time.Max would try and pet him sometimes and Felix would just look annoyed and swat at him.Max’s only real comfort was stuffing his chubby face with food all day long. But that was turning him into a blob of human fat. He waited every month for those dam food stamps to come through. He’d go on a massive drunken spending spree at the grocery store each month when he first got them."Are you eating again?" his grandma would ask every time he opened the fridge."Yes Grandma, am I not aloud to eat now?""Well I’m just saying, that’s all you do is eat, I don’t understand it is all.""I don’t either Grandma," he’d respond, shoving a burrito down his throat.One night Max was taking Bubbles on a walk when he saw some lady coming towards him walking a dog as well. She was slightly over weight like Max, and her dog was the same breed as Bubbles. As they got closer to each other, their dogs struggled to sniff each other’s butts."Hi." Max said to the lady."Well hello, it looks like our dogs are quite curious about one another." She said.Max sort of looked down at the ground trying to remember when his last shower was? Two weeks ago? Three? He knew he probably smelled real bad."My name is Gloria.""Oh, my name is Max," he said, slowly looking up from the ground into her face. Max was never real good with eye contact.They both stood there in the dark night just sort of staring at each other while the dogs sniffed each other."So you live in the neighborhood?" she asked."Yeah, I live with my Grandma right down the street," he told her."No way!" she blurted out."Why you say that?""Cause I live with my Grandma too!"Max let out some awkward chuckle that turned into a hacking smoker’s cough."How old are you?" Max asked."38, what about you?""Me too." He said."Weird hey? It must be a full moon or something, next you’re going to tell me you’re unemployed and take meds for depression?" she laughed."How did you know that about me?" Max asked."Oh my god! Cause I’m in the same boat too! Ha. How crazy is that?"There was a moment of weird silence."Well I guess I better get going Max," she said." Uhhh…. Please… Don’t go yet, I mean, do you want to exchange phone numbers and maybe hang out sometime?" he asked her, all nervous like, looking down at the ground.It was like a miracle when he heard her friendly inviting voice respond."Sure Max, you got a pen and paper?"Max fumbled around in his smelly pockets. He had no pen or paper."Uhhh. Uhhh. No I don’t.. I guess not.""Well you got a good memory?""Not really these days, I mean I use to but, but…""My number is real easy to remember, it’s 555- 3399. Can you handle remembering that till you get home and write it down?" she laughed, winking at him."I sure can, sure I can. Ok Gloria, nice meeting you, I will call you tomorrow if you like?""Sure thing Max. That sounds great. Maybe we could take the dogs to a park and walk them or something?""Yeah, we could do that.""Bye Max.""Bye Gloria."He walked away for about twenty feet. His mind kept telling him to turn around to see if she would turn around as well and look at him.Just as he turned his fat head around, Gloria did the same.She waved to him. He waved back. A spark of hope and an inch of happiness shot through his soul and brain. He hadn’t felt any sort of hope in years.He walked back into his Grandmothers ancient house. It smelled like old people and dog piss. Max took Bubbles leash off and sat down on the couch next to his Grandma with a huge goofy grin on his face staring at the TV. She was watching some ridiculous so-called reality love show called ‘the bachelor.’A commercial came on and his Grandmother muted the volume, looking over at Max’s stupid grinning face."What are you all giddy and smiling about you dam weirdo?" she asked him, taking another slug off her massive glass of wine."I met a girl tonight while on a walk with Bubbles, and we are going to go out on a date.""How old was she? Twelve? Was she retarded and blind or something? Are you sure you didn’t just imagine that she was there? Why would any woman want to go out on a date with you?" his grandma spitted out, grinding her dentures around in her mouth. She let out this evil drunken laugh, while Bubbles lie next to her; feverishly licking his ugly pink crusted brown asshole.The old bag of saggy wrinkled skin and gray hair could be a real bitch after she got enough glasses of wine in her."You know Grandma! Sometimes I wonder how Granddad put up with your negative bullshit for all those years before he finally died.""Your Granddad loved me to death for your information! He never had much to say about you! I Can tell you that much! God rest his soul. I was his life. He was a winner in life. Always had a good job and took care of his family. Unlike you. That’s why he left me all his money and left you nothing. He knew what a no good drug taking loser you always were.""You know GRANDMA! Why don’t you FUK the FUK off! and……and….. another thing….!""Shush now! My favorite reality show is back on. Settle down Max, shush now!""That bullshit is not reality! Those are all actors and the entire show is a fake ludicrous script! I mean look at those people! They aren’t real! They don’t live in any sort of reality!""Max! Go to your room and shut up! Granny is trying to listen to her show!""Fuk this shit!" Max yelled, stomping off to his room and slamming the door with a rage of anger in him. That old witch really knew how to push his buttons. She always had.He punched another huge hole in his wall."FUUUUUUUUUK YOUUUUUUUUU!" he screamed.He heard his Grandma mute her stupid show again and she yelled…"Max! take your dam medication! Don’t make me call the cops again to take you away! Remember what happened last time?"He jumped onto his bed, grabbing a pillow, covering his entire face, he screamed into the pillow, while his legs kicked up and down. He felt trapped. He was so angry. Any time he started feeling any sort of joy or hope that old bag of bones had to bring him down again.Max took some deep angry breaths. Felix came and jumped on his bed, which rarely happened. Felix sat on Max’s legs and stared at him purring. Max began to pet Felix. It made him feel better. Max looked into Felix’s green eyes. Cats always had a calming soothing effect on him when he was freaking out.The next night Max called Gloria and they went out for dinner and a movie. They had so much in common that it seemed strange. They liked the same foods, the same books, they had both been truck drivers in their past, they were both jobless with no friends. The second night they hung out in Max’s room and made love for the first time. Max was surprised his dick still seemed to work fine. They started hanging out all the time and Max no longer felt so depressed. He started writing and painting again and they tried to come up with ideas for their future.Max’s grandma could not stand Gloria. She just could not stand to see anyone happy. She wanted everyone to be miserable like herself. Gloria’s grandma could not stand Max. One day Gloria noticed that Max had a massive collection of bank robbery books on his bookshelf she had never noticed before. Just about any book Max could get on bank robbers or robbing banks he bought."What’s up with that?" Gloria asked him."It’s just sort of a pipe dream of mine that if I ever fully snap I am going to rob a bank. I have studied up on it so much that I think I’d get away with it.""Are you being serious about that Max?""Well, of course I never have done it, I’m just saying you know, maybe if I had never met you and life kept sucking I might have turned to it.""Why don’t we do it? Sounds like a plan to me." She said, surprising Max."Yeah right, your kidding right?""No Max. I’m up for it if you are. Teach me more about banks and how we could get away with it?""I can’t believe you are being serious.""I don’t want to live at grandmas for the rest of my life, do you? And we both hate the idea of getting jobs again."Max began filling her in on all the information he knew about banks. Their security. Their vaults. What days and time are the best to hit a bank. What managers do what and hold which keys. Exploding dye packs and how to spot them. Where their secret bank alarms are. How to watch out for tracking devices in the money. How to case out a bank. How to take control of the robbery quickly and immobilize any security guards. Disguises. Transportation to the bank. The get away. How to hot-wire a car. How to never leave any finger prints. How long you have to get in and out of the bank. How big of a score it will be. Learning the lay out of the bank. If violence is needed. What sort of weapons to use. What to do if something goes wrong. Escape plans. It went on and on.Max gave Gloria his favorite books to read on the subject and she studied them with a passion. He told her about his favorite bank robbers through out history and how the good ones got away with it.They chose a bank that was close. Max figured the closer the bank the quicker they get away and safe.He went into the bank with Gloria so she could open an account one day. He took notice where all the cameras were, how many people were working, the two entrances and exits, what sort of security they had, and he calculated in his head how much time they would have to get in and out with the cash. He noticed the head manager open the vault in the back, and Max took notice of the time he was opening it. He eyed the tellers to see what kind of people they were; he asked what their hours were. Gloria took notes in her head as well as she scoped the entire bank’s lay out.The two of them became obsessed with the entire idea. The planning. They tried to think of every detail. They both agreed if for some reason something went wrong that they would not go to prison. They both agreed they would rather go down shooting. For months and months they went over it non stop, it almost seemed unreal to them, like they were just playing a game, but they both knew they were going to do it. No matter what the outcome they were ready. They watched the video of the north Hollywood shoot out where the men had full body armor suits on and blasted away at the cop’s non-stop. They discussed what if any armor they would have.Max even got a hold of bank robbers in prison and told them he was doing research for a book. He would go to visit them and try and get some more secrets to the art of bank robbery.The plan was coming along just fine in this year of 2012.Max and Gloria built up an arsenal of weapons and bulletproof suits. They began shooting meth for weeks at a time going completely insane together with non-stop sex parties of freak speed sex. Both their grandmas began to get suspicious and ask too many questions but they had Max’s door bolted shut with 8 different locks for security.The news channel blared in the background as Max and Gloria fucked away at each other in a naked pile of sweat with huge jittery pupils of insanity."North Korea has sent another nuke to the island of Hawaii and the chemical attack in New York by the Iranians has now killed over 17, 000, 000!" this petrified looking newsman said.He went on…"President Obama is in hiding after Secretary of state Hillary Clinton was assassinated by the infiltration of terrorists in Washington DC. Mrs. Clinton took a bullet to the head on live television yesterday as most of the American public watched. Most of the city of Los Angeles has been reported to be on fire from the massive earthquake and looting is reported in every-major city, as law enforcement seems to have given up on keeping any sort of order. We have reports of rabid anarchists taking over the city of San Francisco with machine guns. Vice President Biden is nowhere to be found after his trip to the Middle East. His plane went down somewhere in the Atlantic ocean many are speculating it was terrorist related. Congress and the senate have all but disappeared to underground bunkers we assume. America is in shambles folks and it looks like it’s getting worse with another massive chemical attack reported in Detroit. We also have reports coming in from Portland Oregon that another massive infiltration of alien space ships are landing, raping and killing anyone left."The TV goes all fuzzy and shuts down. Max pulls his banana shaped spotty dick from Gloria’s love hole and cums all over her back moaning."What the fuck were they rambling on about on the news honey? That shit was annoying. It’s like who cares what’s going on in the world. We as humans are all fucked sooner or later. You know. People worry about such dumb shit."Max said, scratching his whiskey gut. Gloria agreed. She let out a pussy fart and yellowish stomach juice that looked like lumpy porridge came squirting out all over the bed sheets."Eww, sexy honey, real sexy. For sure." Max said."Couldn’t help it Max."The Cat begins to lap it up."What is today anyway? Holy shit! It’s December 21, 2012! Honey! It’s time to go rob that fucking money filled bank!" Max yelled.He began to dress in his bulletproof armor and load his arsenal of machine guns. Gloria smiled with glee and got in her armor, loading a Mac Ten. They taped all sorts of grenades to their armor. Had bags of dynamite ready.Tons of ammo and guns strapped to their armor covered bodies. They shot up one more big shot of a particular strong batch of meth, ate a few more xanax bars for the nerves and headed out the door.Max’s grandma was having a nervous break down from watching the news, nailing all sorts of wooden boards up over the windows in her gas mask and her Hazardous Materials jumpsuit.They stood in the driveway looking like futuristic fighting machines. They were in love. Crazed neighbors were all freaking out loading up their possessions in hopes of driving somewhere safe. But there was nowhere safe. This was the end of earth. The final day. Max glared over at this one neighbor he never liked. He raised his machine gun. The neighbor was a yuppy snob who would make Max clean up Bubbles dog shit off his lawn.Max aimed at the man and began firing non-stop till the guy was a bloody mess of human road kill splattered in his driveway. Blood and brain matter blew all over the man’s always-perfect lawn. His kid came running out of the house and Gloria aimed her machine gun, squatting down into a sniper position."Gloria! Stop, He’s just a little kid. What the Fuck has gotten into you!" Max yelled at her.Her eyes looked deep into Max’s with tears pouring down her half armored covered face and she let out a painful cry of doomed love from the bottom of her rotten stomach. Something had snapped in her. Her entire body was shakingShe pointed the gun at Max."What the hell are you doing Gloria?" Max managed to say.She fired in a rapid non-stop quivering fashion. Her trigger finger pointing at the only non-armor proof part of his face. Into his eyes. Max dropped to the ground in a dead mess of blood.She stared at his dead body and felt some weird tinge of relief and loss filled with meth-induced psychosis setting in. She never really wanted to rob the bank after all. She was only trying to please her Max. And the stress and aggravation that built in her all those months of planning had finally exploded in a volcano of insanity and violence directed to her true soul mate. She had stopped taking her meds a month ago, never telling Max about it.Gloria looked up at the sky and it went completely black.A thunderous roaring evil almost indescribable horror filled sound came from the sky. Like a zillion tortured babies from some other planet all yelling through the loudest speakers in space.A universal scream of the end of earth, as we knew it. Other people at some of the other houses began to spontaneously combust and evaporate into reddish sand shards shooting up into this yellowish glowing wormhole that seemed to be sucking everything into it’s vortex of power.The sky turned red and cracked in half, blood pelted down from falling clouds, while the worm- hole grew stronger.The ground of earth began to break open into massive chunks of what looked like a never ending black hole and certain people were sucked down instead of up. Things going up, things going down.No one knew how or why they went up or down. For it was decided long ago by the planet hopping alien gods- that had developed wisdom beyond comprehension. The Spinning Wormhole went up into galaxies humans never knew existed. Aliens were going to show some of us chosen ones planets and knowledge we never could have imagined. The prophecy of December 21 2012 had come true.Gloria grabbed Max by the arm. her body couldn’t fight the pulling of the wormhole anymore. A massive piece of earth cracked open under Max and a fifty-foot monstrous underground mutant hand with spinning souls shaped as knives on its fingertips snatched his body downwards. Gloria got zapped up into a whirling time warp of stars & shapes, her body evaporating into red clouds of dusty sand as her soul continued to glide through the massive hole upwards.
　
Penny fo yo thots
by nrm

They had moved all the rehab chairs into a huge circle in the main room where all the meetings were held. Some special guest speaker was standing in the middle of the circle of chairs, strutting around in his cowboy boots and taking a look at all of us sickos.He told us that he had 5 years of sobriety and we all clapped like trained monkeys. He made us all stand up and move in closer. He pulled out a penny and held it up to the ceiling."Now! What we are going to do is pass this penny to the person next to you without dropping it. We are going to do this in a perfect movement where we are all in synchronicity till I say to stop."All the junkies looked around at each other puzzled. The penny began getting passed around the circle."Can’t we do this sitting down?" some grouchy crack head yelled out.The penny went round and round the circle and I could see that some people were starting to get very pissed off with this exercise. The guy in the middle with the cowboy boots on would say stop about every 5 minutes and then we’d start passing the penny again. A few people walked out. And a few more after that. One tattooed heroin felon marched up to the guy in the middle in a fit of anger."This is fuking aggravating and it’s bullshit!" he yelled in his face and walked out."What the fuk is the point of this!" one dude yelled."I’m not paying all this money for this bullshit! I’m here for recovery!" another man yelled."Shut the fuk up!" one guy yelled at some other guy."Fuk you punk!"They got in each other’s face and the cowboy guy in the middle tried to break them up.Half of the people had walked out and were outside complaining. The entire exercise erupted into a yelling match and fights broke out."Great job buddy, you really know how to piss people off don’t you! You fuking jerk!" this crippled drunk with a big red nose in a wheelchair screamed at the guy.I went up to the guy who thought this was going to be some great learning experience and I said.."What was the point of that? Seriously?"He had no answer. He just looked all scared at the near riot he created. Some head counselor lady of the entire rehab came in to talk to the penny man. She looked infuriated.In another building this big black guy was screaming at the top of his lungs that someone had stolen his Nike tennis shoes! He ripped his shirt off and was going berserk as counselors called the police and tried to calm him down.It turned out one of his roommates had just moved them to a different spot while he was sweeping.They kicked that black dude out after his crazed fit of anger.Another guy who was in my group was standing in the hallway arguing with our counselor. She was a mean power tripping little munchkin of a lady that seemed to hate her job and all of us druggies."You are a bitch!" he screamed at her.He got kicked out that day as well. He had only been there for about 3 days and he complained non-stop about how he couldn’t sleep cause of some slob snoring all night long. He demanded they give him a different room and they wouldn’t. Earplugs buddy. I had to use them every night cause I had three snoring roommates.This one guy who never spoke much was having a panic attack in the middle of the hall. I mean a panic attack like I had never seen. His entire body was shaking and he looked like someone had just frightened the shit out of him. His arms and legs, shaking, his hands trembling, people tried to sit him down, and he went into some sort of seizure and the paramedics were called. The entire place was a drama filled freak show every day."Line up for medication! Medication time!" a man’s voice said over the speaker system.After a while it was time for meditation outside. They had put all our chairs in a circle. Some old hippy-looking guy was running the mediation. He was trying to speak and no one was listening to him. People just kept talking over him."Everybody shut up!" this new guy next to me suddenly yelled."Fuk you! You shut up!" this other guy yelled back at him.A huge fight broke out in the middle of the circle. People punching each other. Screaming, tackling each other. The hippy teacher just sat there with a look of disbelief on his face. I walked off back to my room and some counselor told me I wasn’t aloud to go to my room. That I was supposed to be in meditation. I just laughed at him."Go out there and see for yourself. It’s a disaster." I told him.The penny guy that almost started a riot was walking by me in the hall with his head down looking like he was about to go relapse. I got to my room and laid down wondering if all rehabs were this disorganized."I need everyone outside again for meditation guys! Right now!" this counselor said over the speaker system.I decided to try and hide in the closet and get some sleep. It was the only place I didn’t think they would find me. Part of their program seemed to be sleep deprivation. I couldn’t believe people actually paid five grand to come to this place. I was state funded.

Sister Hella
by nrm
When I was a young boy of about twelve or thirteen I would stand behind large grown ups in Sunday mass and see halos around certain people’s heads. Sometimes they were different colors. The longer the catholic mass went on the brighter the halos seemed to get.I figured the people that didn’t have the halos were not going to heaven. Some of my friends were alter boys. I remember when church would be going on I’d pick my nose and make all sorts of funny faces at them to try and get them laughing. Many times they almost completely lost it while they were up there. They had to look away from me so they could try and put their serious face back on.We had this nun named sister Nancy that taught a lot of are classes. We use to call her sister Nasty. She had a bright white chubby face covered in red freckles. When she got mad or aggravated her freckles would turn even redder and the veins in her neck would start to throb out. She use to sneak up behind you if you were speaking during a test and smack a ruler down across your hand with a ferocious whack! The girls would always cry or scream but it was a un written rule among the boys that you did not let out any sort of cry or weep what so ever. If one of the boys did, we all took turns throwing a basketball at his back during lunch until he would be in tears.I remember one day at lunch I was sitting with my crew. Sitting across from us was Booger Eater. That’s what we called him anyway. His real name was Ralph Franklin. He had big goofy thick glasses. His hair was always cut into a bucket like buzz cut. It was always greasy and when he wasn’t picking his nose and eating it, he had his hand half way down the back of his pants and was scratching his ass cheeks for some reason only known to him.Every day his mother packed him the same lunch. Tuna fish sandwich, a carton of milk, 2 carrots, and a rotten looking apple.I’d catch him sometimes looking at the other boys who would be eating cake or twinkies. Or they would have home made cookies and different sorts of candy bars. Booger Eater would just stare at them as they ate those things with his massive coke bottled eyeballs. He’d sometimes start picking his nose real slow and savoring every booger as if he was imagining it was a cup cake or cookie.I felt sorry for Booger Eater. My crew and me were always picking on him. He had no friends at all and never uttered a word to any one. Sometimes we would try and make him speak at lunch. We would all start chanting "booger eater! Lets hear you speak! Booger eater! Lets hear you speak!"He’d just sit there chomping away on his carrots with some bizarre half smile on his face. He had something going on in his brain it’s just no one knew what. He got the best grades out of anyone in our class. My one friend who was the biggest bully of them all use to get Booger Eater up against a wall sometimes at recess or lunch and tell him he was going to smash his face apart if Booger didn’t let him cheat off him on the next big test.One of the few times Booger Eater did speak or felt too threatened he would say in this weird nasally voice…."Keep it up and I’ll tell Sister Nancy on you."No one liked Sister Nancy except Booger Eater. He was her best student. Sometimes she would even pull him aside at lunch and he’d get to go eat with her and the other nuns in their special cafeteria. We would all hoot and holler at him as she led him away by the hand.The girls in my class were always separated from the boys at recess and lunch. The only time you really got to try and talk to them was during class or if you came to school early in the morning. There was one girl named Darla Jenkins who would have her mom sew her school skirt up higher. So it would be higher up than any of the other girl’s skirts. Sister Nancy would always warn her that if her skirt got any shorter she would be expelled. I loved her short skirt. She had these great sexy smooth legs. During class, we would pass notes to each other. I’d stare at her legs and dream of touching them.I could tell she liked me but the problem was my friend, Richard Scumpter, he had told everyone that he made out with her and that her breath and pussy stunk like rotten fish. My crew called her "Fishy Girl" They never did to her face. But I’m sure she had heard the nickname. I think Richard was full of shit. She always smelled like strawberries and some exotic perfume when she sat next to me.If my crew caught me talking to her too much they would let me have it at lunch.."You in wuv wit fishy girl! Eh?"We were all only about 12 to 13 years old. Most of us hadn’t even hit puberty. They’d just say all sorts of stupid little kid stuff. I think they were just jealous that she seemed to like me. She was one of the best looking girls in our class.One day at lunch Booger Eater didn’t open his lunch bag. He just sort of stared at us all with a crazier look than usual while he tapped a finger on his leg."What’s a matta? Booger man! You don’t like mama’s lunch no more? Hey pussy?" this mean kid named Kevin Froddle said to him.Booger Eater just stared at him not saying anything."Come on four eyes! Can’t you speak! What’s a matta? Mama didn’t put your apple in there today!"Booger Eater let out a weird grunting like noise and opened his lunch bag up and pulled out a knife. He jumped off the bench and stuck it right in Kevin’s neck!"My name is Ralph!" booger eater screamed.We all looked at the knife in Kevin’s neck stunned.Kevin let out this huge girly scream of horror and pissed his pants. We all ran to go get a school nun.Kevin was ok. He had to get some stitches and ware this weird bandage around his neck for a few weeks afterwards.Ralph got suspended for a week. When he came back to school no one ever made fun of him again.At least not to his face. He walked around with pride now. His shoulders no longer slouched. He even started telling certain members of my crew to shut up if he didn’t like what they were saying during lunch. Just out of the blue."Shut up!" he would bark.We would be silent in fear of a knife in the neck.One-day sister Nancy caught Darla and me passing notes during a test. She grabbed both our notes and marched us out of the classroom into her office. Her neck veins were throbbing. Her freckles turning as red as blood."Both of you are going to sit in nowhere land for the next 3 hours until you learn some respect!" she yelled at us.Nowhere land was this half dark room with crosses all over the walls where students got sent to be punished if they were bad. It only had a few desks in it and there were all these rumors that it was haunted.You were not aloud to talk when in Nowhere land, but everyone did anyway. The nuns would come and check on you every 20 minutes or so. Some of them would say…"Take this time to pray and beg forgiveness for your sinful ways."So me and Darla were sitting there alone together staring at each other. We just started laughing non-stop for some reason."Well this is funner than class." She said."Yeah, this aint so bad at all.""So tell me Darla? Is it true the rumors Richard spreads about you?""What the heck has Richard been saying about me?""You don’t know?" I asked."No.""Well, never mind.""What! What! What! is that loser saying about me?""Nothing, never mind.""He’s the one that tried to kiss me on the bus last year and I turned my lips away from him and told him I didn’t like him in that way.""Really? You never made out with him?""God no! Not in a million years would I!""Well I guess he’s a liar." I said."He sure is." She said, nodding her head in disgust.Sister Nasty stuck her crazy head in the door."No speaking you two! Silence!"I sat there staring at Darla’s legs. She knew I was looking cause she hiked her skirt up even more and sort of grinned a little bit while she put her head down on the desk and let out this sexy sigh."Why you looking at my legs?" she giggled."Because I like them.""Hmmm, is that so? Well why don’t you ever try and kiss me if you like my legs so much?" she asked, in a sexy whisper.I looked at the door worried about another sister poking their head in and decided I had about 14 minutes left to make my move.I stood up and walked over to her desk and bent down. She looked at me with this big smile on her face. I went in for the kiss and our foreheads smashed into each other awkwardly. We both sort of laughed and tried it again. This time our lips connected perfectly. I had never kissed a girl. She started laughing and told me to open my mouth more and to use my tongue on her tongue, so I did.She didn’t taste like fish at all.She got down on the floor and spread her legs open and guided me on top of her while our lips interlocked. She had on these bright pink panties with red hearts all over them. Something was going on with my penis. It was growing while it rubbed up against her panties. She began to moan and grabbed one of my hands. She put it down her panties. I felt some sort of wet slimy pubic hair with a slit in the middle.Just as I was trying to figure out how to put a finger in her the door swung open and it was sister Nasty!We both jumped up off the floor but it was too late. She had seen what we were doing."Sinners Sinners Sinners! Now you two are in some serious trouble! Lets go! The both of you! Absolutely disgusting, both of you should be ashamed. Just think what your parents will say when they find out!" she marched us out of there and up to the head nun’s office. The head nun was feared. Her name was sister Bella!Some of the guys called her Sister Hella!Sister Nancy explained to her what had happened and left the office. Sister Bella pulled out her ruler and yelled…"Let me see both your hands now!"We put our hands on her cold desk and she began smacking both our hands with a great force that shot waves of pain all through me. Darla began crying but I tried to be brave. She smacked us about 15 times and got on the phone to our mothers."Both of you are to be suspended for 8 days! And you will both come to the church each day when you are not in school and clean it from head to toe so father John can give his sermons in a clean chapel!""Yes Sister Bella," we both muttered.Darla’s mom showed up first. She looked Darla in the face and slapped her."No daughter of mine is going to be a fornicating slut! Get in the car Darla!" Darla ran off crying.I sat there with sister Bella across from me. She glared at me with this weird smirk."So? You little monster, you like to touch girls do you?"I didn’t no what to say so I said nothing."Come over here to me for a minute now boy!: she demanded.I went and stood next to her and she grabbed my hand and put it on her breast."How does that feel you sick little sinner!" she asked.I was stunned. I just stood there frozen. She made my hand caress her old saggy tit."Lets see how you like the feel of this!" she yelled, grabbing my hand and sticking it up her skirt. She forced my hand to rub her big bloated pussy. She began moaning this old lady in heat scary moan."What’s a matter boy? I thought you liked this sort of thing!"We heard footsteps coming up the steps and she quickly removed my hand and told me to go sit back down.It was my mom. My mom apologized to the sister for what a sick boy I was and promised her it would never happen again.My mother scolded me the entire drive home, saying how I had disappointed her and the nuns and what an angel that nun Bella was. How she didn’t understand how she could have given birth to the anti Christ himself. Me! She kept going on about what a wonderful holy person Sista Bella was! I said nothing.Later that night I sat on the couch next to my dad."I heard you have been a very naughty boy!" he yelled at me, bursting out into some half drunken British laughter."So, tell me? Was it worth it son? Is this girl pretty?" he asked."Yeah Dad, she is the best looking girl in my class.""Well good for you son, good for you, don’t let them nuns bring you down and your mother will get over it."My dad was never nice to me. I felt really good that he said that to me. I smiled at him."Thanks Dad."He buried his head back in the newspaper and winked at me.Darla’s mother ended up taking her out of that school and made her go to some private all girls school 100 miles away. I never saw her again and had no idea how to get a hold of her. She was now just a dream. Booger Eater was caught with Sister Bella the next year in some sort of sexual misconduct that Sister Nancy had walked in on. Now Sister Nancy became head Nun and sister Bella waited to go to trial. She was looking at some serious prison time and it was the biggest story to ever hit that lame town.Booger Eater went on to become some multi billionaire computer genius years and years later. The school burnt down in some sort of arson ten years later and they decided not to rebuild it. Sometimes I drive by where it use to stand and wonder where that Darla girl is now a days.

Homeless Alien Haywire
by nrm
I kept seeing glowing space crafts up in the sky following me.I sped out of the driveway with my bashed apart car. The entire back end looked like I had just been rear-ended because of a drunken Christmas Eve where I was driving about 90 to go score and lost control, ended up spinning out about 4 times into a ditch, other cars had pulled over to call the cops and stare at me. Some how I had managed to finally rev it out of the ditch, but in doing so, the ditch ripped off most of the back end and bumper and parts of the side of the car. I had two flat tires and pulled into my driveway and hid it in the garage. I saw alien spacecrafts in the sky that night. Three of them. Paranoid at any time the police would be pulling up and taking me to jail. It was my dead fathers car, which he loved.Some 1997 shitty old ford escort with over 100 thousand miles on it. He had a brand new 2005 black Mustang parked in the garage that he never drove. He just demanded that I wash it on weekends. It was his baby not to be touched or driven by anyone except on a rare occasion when he was drunk enough; he’d rev up that powerful engine in the garage and go speeding around the block with it, like he was some race car driver. He never invited me to go on these drives. I always figured it was his trip. He worked his ass off his entire life for his family and never spent a dime on himself till he bought this mustang a few years before he died.My Dad didn’t believe in oil changes. He took some sort of pride in the fact the escort had never had an oil change. It was the same thing about dentists. He was from England and that rumor about the British not caring about their teeth is true. He took pride in never going to the dentist until his major front tooth fell out one night when he was drunk eating a steak. Now he looked like some crazed toothless mad scientist. Even he realized he could not teach his rich college students looking like hillbilly backwoods Joe.He got it glued back on several times. But it would always fall off again at the dinner table while he crunched into one of mom’s tacos or chicken casserole."Fuking bloody shit!" he would scream, glaring at me, like I had something to do with his misfortunes. I’d stand up and leave the dinner table and go drink by myself. I knew how to avoid him when he was about to blow his top. I had been practicing and watching him for the last 33 years out of fear.There was only one time that I ever fought back when he was trying to beat me or freak out on me.It had just happened about 3 months ago.He was loaded and spilt an entire bottle of wine in the laundry room, he was down on all fours trying to clean up the glass but he didn’t seem to know how to. He had a PHD in physics and was a respected professor with thousands of publications in fancy science journals.But he didn’t know how to use a microwave or a broom and pan or mop. He didn’t know how to wash his dishes or do his own laundry. He relied on my mom for that stuff.I had been drinking as well on this day. Like father like son I guess. I walked into the laundry room."What happened dad? Need some help?’ I asked."Fuk you ! You bloody shithead! Go fuk off! I spilt some wine! Can’t you see!"I kept my cool and walked away from him and went and hid above his garage where I had my own room. I drank a shitload more and heard my mom pull back into the driveway in the jaguar he had bought her.After a few more hours, when I thought it was safe. When I thought they had both gone to bed. I went over there to eat some food.I was pretty drunk and accidentally dropped a bottle of beer from the fridge that went crashing to the kitchen floor with a loud bang!Fuk!I knew I had to get out of there right away. I was just turning off the laundry room light when my mother was standing there and flipped the lights back on! She had this vulgar filled angry expression on her face with sleepless eyes."You arsehole! What have you done now!" she screamed at me, in her British accent."Mom, I accidentally dropped something out of the fridge, I cleaned it up and am leaving now, im sorry.""Your father told me how you broke a bottle of our wine all over the laundry room floor and refused to help him clean it up!" she screamed at me.That drunken motherfuker went and told her some huge lie just so he didn’t feel guilty! I couldn’t believe it!"What the fuk are you talking about! What did he tell you! I didn’t drop any wine! And I tried to ask him if he needed help cleaning his mess!""Sure you did! You no good drunken drugged out liar!" she screamed at me."Mom! Can you hear me! Can you listen for once! I Did not do anything! He is a drunken crazy liar with mental problems!"That’s when dad came running into the laundry room in his silly looking purple Speedo type underwear. His weird bole-legged skinny chicken legs filled with ape like hair, which he had passed on to me as well. His insane white scientific balding hair sticking up all over the top of his angry head. His gigantic red veiny alcoholic nose glowing with fire."Don’t you talk to your mother like that you bloody fuking no good free loading worthless piece of shit!"He screamed at me, coming at me.I sort of blacked out or something snapped inside me. I was very drunk myself. I didn’t want any violence or arguments or un needed confrontations. I was a non-violent peace-loving drunk for the most part. But they had got me in a corner. A corner of lies told by my father. I was being yelled at and called names for something I had nothing to do with…Next thing I know my fist connected with the old mans nose and face. As hard as I could swing. 33 years of frustration towards him in that punch.His old drunken body flew backwards and he hit the floor with some stunned look on his face that I had never seen in 33 years. What happened next is up for speculation.I seem to remember yelling at him…"Stay down old man! Just stay down!"That’s all I remember.But according to my mom……. the next day she called my sisters in California and said that I attacked him for no reason. That I knocked him down and jumped on him and began swinging non-stop punches at his face. She claims she tried to pull me off him but that I turned around and my eyes were not mine. She claims that my brown eyes were pure red with anger! And that I was yelling crazy shit in some evil voice in some other language that she thought sounded French. I don’t know any other languages and I don’t remember attacking him anymore than that one punch.Either way. I went to work at my low paying bookstore job the next morning. It was all I could think about all day. Was the night before. I kept going over and over it in my head trying to figure out what I had done wrong to them.I got home and headed straight to my apartment room above the garage hoping to avoid them both.There was this note taped to my front door written by my mother.I grabbed it off the door and read it."Dear Roscoe,Your father and me don’t feel safe with you living here. We want you to pack your things and get out. You had no right to attack your father like that. There is no telling what you might do next. We both know that you are on drugs all the time and your behavior is erratic and unpredictable. We paid for your college education for years and years and you never accomplished anything. If you have no where to go? That is not me or your fathers problem: we are no longer going to help you out with bills or in any other way. We can’t believe you attacked your father like that last night after all we have done for you and all your problems in life! You are an un grateful dangerous person that needs to either go to rehab or check into a mental hospital. Please have all your stuff moved out by tonight. And you cannot take our car you use for your job! Leave the keys outside in driveway. We have changed the locks on our doors and if you are not gone by the morning we will call the police on you and have you arrested. Call one of your drug buddies for a ride, because you better leave the car or we will report it stolen.!"Love MomI felt sick to my stomach after reading it. I felt so unwelcome in my own garage apartment as I turned the key to get in. My cat was standing there to greet me with a friendly concerned meow. Sometimes I think animals know what’s going on with humans. They can sense it.I sat on the couch in silence staring at the walls. My cat kept trying to comfort me but I was in no mood.I was more concerned about his fate than my own. What was he suppose to do?I started packing my shit up into big black hefty bags with tears pouring down my face. I had nowhere to go. I only had a few friends, and they weren’t even really friends, more like drug dealers. I had no money and no plan.I grabbed my cell phone, which they paid for as well and tried to dial a number…… It said, "Your account is no longer valid with Sprint. Thank you. Now your call will end."They even killed my cell phone. I was fuked now.I felt awful about everything and tried to figure out why my Dad would have done this to me.Everything pretty much turned to anger after a few hours.I had no way of carrying all my stupid stuff around in hefty bags.I grabbed my cat, looked him in the eyes…."I’m gone buddy, I love you and wish you the best."He let out this worried meow as I headed to the door.I walked out of the neighborhood still weeping. I got to the freeway and hopped some fence. I started trying to hitch hike for the first time in my life. I thought about calling my x girlfriend but I had no money for even a pay phone. Plus she was with another man now and wanted nothing to do with me. That restraining order made that perfectly clear.For hours I stood there like some freak with my thumb stuck out. All people did was speed by and give me dirty looks. One car full of frat boys screamed at me…"Faggot tramp! Get a life!" a beer bottle was thrown at my head in fast forward motion. It missed me. I wished it would have hit me and knocked me out so I didn’t have to try and think anymore. Just as I was about to give up hitch hiking this truck full of Mexicans pulled over. Three in the front. 8 to 9 in the back.One guy in the back yelled something in Spanish at me."I don’t speak Spanish!" I yelled back.They all motioned for me to hop in the back with them so I did and the driver sped off down the freeway.I was all squished up next to two of them near the trucks tailgate as the Texas wind blew all our hair out of control.They spoke among themselves in Spanish, passing a forty ouncer of beer around between them and a big jug of tequila. I just stared at all of them wishing I knew Spanish. The guys up front handed us out a smoldering joint that got passed around. That’s one word I knew."Mota!" I screamed, while taking a huge hit off it. They all laughed and said…"Mota! Gringo mota! See. See! Es loco!"I had no idea where these guys were headed and I didn’t really care. I was just glad I wasn’t standing on that freeway corner anymore. The weed they had tasted like some swaggy shit. It made me cough like crazy but gave me a much-needed buzz.The driver seemed to head north for a long time before cutting down some backwoods farm road to head west.It got dark out. For some reason I felt sort of happy just sitting there half stoned with these guys riding across texas on a beautiful night. I tried to block out all my bad thoughts. I could do it when I had to.I think we might be going to Waco. But I wasn’t sure.I had been to Waco a few times as a trucker. Wasn’t much to do or see there. Only thing that ever seemed to happen there was all that David koresh shit."Gringo es Stupido! See?!" one of the Mexicans sitting next to me suddenly yelled while elbowing me in the ribs."What! " I screamed at him."Puto Gringo es Stupido see?!" he yelled again, laughing with these yellow broken teeth, elbowing me in the ribs again.I looked around at all the other Mexicans in the back of the truck and they all started laughing at me, yelling shit at me in Spanish!I could see why they hated white men but I had never done anything to them or their race. I started feeling like a cornered wounded animal as that fuker elbowed me again in the ribs and they all laughed at me, the gringo.I grabbed him by his throat and punched him in the face. His head flew backwards out the tailgate and I quickly grabbed his neck and started choking him while making sure his head stayed out the back of the truck.A few of the others in the back of truck started freaking out and yelling. One tried to stand up and come help his friend but the wind just blew him back on his ass. The driver finally saw what was going on and pulled into some gas station out in the middle of no where.When the truck stopped it was chaos! They all started yelling at me in Spanish as I continued to punch that one dude in the face that had started everything. A few of them grabbed me off him, and swung my body out of the truck.About 4 of them surrounded me, cursing at me in rapid Spanish. I stood there with my fists up like I knew how to fight or something.They were all yelling among themselves about what they should do when the driver revved up the engine. They all jumped into the back of the truck and sped off out of the gravel dirt gas station. Pebbles, rocks and dirt flying everywhere.I heard some huge engine explosion just as they were about to get back on the main road. Smoke came pouring out of their truck and they pulled over about 500 feet away.I sat on a bench in front of the gas station and lit a cigarette, one of my last ones. I mumbled and cursed to myself watching them all try and work on the truck in the dark distance. Some pregnant white trash young looking girl who worked in the gas station came outside and lit a smoke."What the hell are those wetbacks doing anyway?" she asked me."I don’t know. For all I care they can all rot with their broken down pile of crap!""Ha! Yeah man, fuk em, they come to our country and take all the jobs and get more free shit than us! And what about all them dam niggars with their dam niglets getting welfare invading our great state!" she yelled.Oh Shit, I thought. I have the grand female wizard of the klu klux klan talking to me."I don’t know about all that racist shit lady!" I told her.Now I was even more aggravated. This half toothless trailer trash pregnant brainwashed retard out in the middle of nowhere working gas station redneck was bellowing out her racist ignorant shit into the night air. I didn’t want to deal with her or the Mexicans.I thought of my cat and the comfort of my apartment above the garage.Suddenly there was some kind of struggle between two of the Mexicans. They started fighting each other in the distance. Some sort of power struggle I figured.They tackled each other out into the freeway right in front of a state trooper. He pulled over and him and his partner drew there guns and made them all get on the ground."Man oh man, some excitement for a change in this dag naggot town! Yeeee hawwww!"the racist pregnant hick girl yelled, pulling out a big piece of gum, chewing on it, blowing a bubble, looking at me, laughing some sort of inbred laugh, and heading back into her gas station. I looked in there at her and saw her snorting what looked like lines of yellowish meth off the counter as she stared up at the fuzzy TV. It was that old show green acres playing. The racist girl sat on some stool and began laughing like crazy at the TV.I kept looking down the road to see what was going on with the Mexicans. Eventually all these border patrol immigration officers pulled up in white vans and some huge bus. They loaded all the Mexicans onto the bus and drove off. The cops sat for about 15 more minutes making me paranoid and sped off with lights flashing.I started weeping. Laid my head into my lap and pulled my sweatshirt hood up around my dumb face.I went inside the gas station while that ugly bitch was taking a piss in the bathroom, and I stole 35 cents out of the penny jar that was upfront.I went outside to the payphone and tried dialing my parent’s number. A voice came on saying."The number you are trying to reach has been changed with no forwarding new number. Thank you. Goodbye."I sat on the bench trying to come up with a plan.I stared down the road at those Mexicans abandoned truck.Maybe I could fix that thing? Maybe I could fix it and jump-start it. Drive out of this 30 people population weird town and start a new life wherever the road takes me.I started walking towards the broken down truck.That racist white trash chick came out of the gas station and started yelling at me.."Hey Arian brother! Where you going? What you gonna do!"I just looked at her puzzled and didn’t say anything, kept walking towards that truck.I started fuking around with different things under the hood that I had remembered from 20 years ago in high school auto class. First I figured I better see if I remember how to hot wire a car. I use to be real good at it. Back in my Michigan junkie days I’d steal cars for a living so that I could always have a fix. Never got caught once.I put all the wires together after prying the steering wheel open with a crow bar I found under the seat. Connected them all the way they should go.. But now I had to figure out what was wrong with this truck. I discovered in the darkness with grease all over my hands and face that a simple hose that ran from the engine to the rest of some vital components under the hood was not attached anymore.I found some duck tape and rigged it back up. Just as I was starting up the truck this monster truck pulled behind me with bright lights on.I couldn’t see anything with the bright lights. Finally I saw the outline of some creepy looking giant dude in a cowboy hat come walking towards me. Someone in his truck must have jumped in the drivers seat and was revving the engine so that smoke was bellowing out everywhere and it made it harder to see.I lit a smoke and looked for a better weapon other than the crow bar. I found nothing.His massive big head was now at the driver’s side window. He was covered in scars from a case of the worst acne I had ever seen. His face like a pot holed map of science fiction monsters. He had a big wad of chewing tobacco in his mouth. His eyeballs sort of jerked around in circles like he had been up on meth for weeks. He was tall. Maybe six foot eight. A true Ogre like specimen that should be in some circus freak show.. A monster like missing link bread on barbecued cow ass, pig shit, hey & corn soup, childhood rape, animal humping, and lots of hunting deer and any other animal that dared to breath around him. near his backwoods cabin of fart smelling body odor."My girl in there tells me you had some sort of trouble with some wet backs?""Uhhhh, no, not really dude, its all taken care of now.""What’s a matter? A fellow white man can’t look out for a fellow Arian brother?" he asked, spitting a huge wad of chew out."I aint an Arian brother, and maybe you should just mind your own business when you see another white man. I got shit under control here, ambassador dumb shit." I said, regretting it right after it rolled off my tongue.He spat into the back of the truck."Well you see Mr. We don’t take kindly to strangers around here, specially Mexican nigger loving strangers!"He opened the truck door and pulled me out by the hair and started dragging me back to where his monster truck was.."You see man, I was trying to be nice to another white man, but now I’m gonna have to treat you just like one of them wetbacks you came here with boy!"I struggled to get my footing and he’d kick me in my legs every time I tried to stand up.Soon enough we were back at his truck.He lifted my body up to the very top of the inside of the truck and that ugly pregnant girl was sitting there chewing gum and blowing bubbles. Some super inbred looking giant in a cat diesel power grease covered hat sat next to her. His gut was beyond massive. He smiled at me and his teeth looked like that guy ‘jaws’ from the james bond movies. They were all silver, some gold, shiny and sharp looking. He was some sort of freak out of a real life horror movie that I seemed to be starring in."He sure is perdy, preeety, I mean perty, wouldn’t you reckon there billy bob?" he said in some weird ass high pitch voice."I reckon so too," the guy holding me up by my hair answered.Next thing I know billy bob whacked me across the face and I was out. Unconscious.I woke up in the middle of some kind of cow shit or horse manure field with giant marijuana trees and corn all around me sprouting from the field of crap. I was tied to some sort of cross made out of really strong hemp branches. My wrists were tied up as well. bleeding. They had me in some sort of Jesus like pose. I saw big roof staples going through my hands into the giant planks behind them with dried up infected looking blood.Some little albino inbred kid with dark brown buck teeth came running up to me from I don’t know where and started throwing these rocks at my face. He had on these grease ridden over alls and no shoes."Gonna git some yeah, gonna git some yeah, gonna git some yeah," he sang..He had these bizarre freakishly long toenails that wrapped around him in long decaying circles. He started making this weird snorkeling like laughter and he skipped around in a circle throwing these rocks at my face. Blood began gushing from my nose. I think he had broken it.Many more rocks hit my forehead making me dizzy."Stop it you sick little mutant!" I screamed at him.He stopped for some reason and got up real close to me and grabbed where my dick was and tried to rub it for a second and said…"MUTANT! MUTANT! MUTANT~ DADDY CAUGHT A MUTANT!"He ran off laughing. My face dripping with blood. I could hear a freeway way off in the distance. Maybe a mile or so away. I was already planning my escape.The one monster inbred nightmare guy with the silver and gold teeth came up to me next with a big jar of Vaseline. He opened the jar and rubbed it all over his face. He dropped his pants and he had some sort of mutant two-headed purple dick with what looked like 5 extra balls dangling down some saggy brown scrotum.He let out some sort of indescribable animal noise and started stroking his down stairs mix up violently.I heard a woman’s voice."GutShank! Don’t be messing with our new slave yet! Save it for tonight! And put that dam freaky dick of yours away!"Next I heard hillbilly music. Like country mixed with fiddles and shit kicking old time jamboree like twangy guitars of bluegrass behind me.I could smell some sort of meat cooking on a barbecue and a lot of odd laughter like I had never heard in my life. I heard shotguns being blasted away. It sounded like some of them spoke in thick Cajun accents.That sick kid who threw rocks at my face came running up to me with some other kid with a melted off face and giant drooping mouth that had been shot off and put back together in some botched plastic surgery operation. He had a hat on with an American flag on top that spun around in circles."Looky Bojo, he is a MUTANT! We gonna hump his ass later after story time and marshmallows!"Bojo ran up to me and punched me in the nuts. Now I couldn’t breath. They ran off laughing. I just wanted to die at this point. I begged to any God that would listen to let me take a quick bullet to the head.After a while the main guy that had kidnapped me came over to me, about ten feet in front of me and started putting branches and twigs and human bones into what looked like some sort of fire pit."How you doing there buddy? You getting comfortable in your new surroundings!" he yelled at me."Us white men gotta stick together to keep the blood line pure, understand what I’m saying my Arian brother?"I figured maybe if I played along with his racist shit he might let me down. Maybe I could escape."I hear you loud and clear my white brother!"I yelled back at him"Got Dang, we just might teach you all a trick or two anyhows before we chop ya up for stew!"He started doing some sort of backwoods dance and clapping his hands."Yeeee haw! Lets git this party started!" he screamed.The guy with jaws teeth came out in just a blue rainbow striped mini skirt with high heel hooker boots on. He sprayed lighter fluid all over the fire pit and lit it. Next, the chick from the gas station that was pregnant came out naked holding another little inbred albino kids hand. Four other backwoods insane looking naked women with buck tooth jaws came out behind her all holding the hands of deformed little ugly white kids that were grunting like dieing farm animals, all naked except for a few weird American flag spinning hats on their heads.The main freak that had captured me came out naked.Massive body of fat and flubbered folds… all painted up in what looked like white creamy egg shell drippings. He had that kid who was throwing rocks at me and Bojo on dog leashes with spiked collars on them. They moved like rabid dogs on all fours barking and growling.A few more backwoods looking bearded inbred men dressed in chicken feathers and yellow egg drippings with broken off shovels sticking out their assholes gathered around the camp fire and they all formed a circle and started chanting some sort of crazed hillbilly space alien babbling clucking nonsense like language all in harmony, while they skipped around the fire.I just couldn’t wait to die. My fear had turned into shock, which turned into some sort of catatonic psychotic state where I could leave my body, float above it and feel a beautiful peaceful warmth engulf my being until I shot back into my body. When I left my body all these Indian looking shaman magic men kept pulling at me, they had crosses of Jesus in their hands, they wanted me to come with them over to some sunny lake where the water was all red like a sea of blood.All the freaks were dancing around the fire chanting.That Bojo kid with the deformed burnt face and drooping plastic surgery mouth suddenly ran out of the circle and looked up to the moon. Everyone else stopped dancing and stared at Bojo. He seemed to be sniffing the air while he looked up at the sky. His back heels dug into the ground like a dog digging into the earth…"BOWWWWWBOOOOOWWWERRREHEEE!"He bellowed like some sort of spastic crazed animal.And his body dropped to the ground and was still.The others looked at each other in a panic, grunting and speaking in their sick language.The big goofy jaws teeth guy ran up to Bojo and picked his body up and held it towards the sky, letting out this whale like grizzly bear sound. All the others ran up to Bojo as well. They were all crying and stroking Bojo’s body. I had been working all day and night to get my hands loose and now I had one free. I quickly undid my other hand and my body fell to the ground in a massive amount of blood-riddled pain. None of them had noticed I was down. One of the naked backwoods guy with a shovel coming out his ass had laid a shotgun down near the fire with an entire box of bullets. I thought of my cat and my family that told me to get out.I ran as fast as I could, moving like a ghost on speed, and grabbed the shotgun and bullets. I saw those shamans making me invisible for a short period of time so I could escape. I ran off into this massive decaying ganja planted cornfield, making sure the shotgun was loaded.I must have ran a good 300 feet when I dropped down to the ground and got into a sniper like position between the broken corn stalks. My heart had never beaten so fast and my ears were on full alert for any sort of sounds or footsteps coming my way.I heard all those freaks in the distance! They were screaming in that retched horrible language of theirs. They were all yelling the same thing. Over and over.I heard something up in the sky suddenly and I looked up.Sounded like an electrical buzzing loose wire.It was this blinding light in the shape of a flying saucer that broke off into three different crafts and began beaming down closer to their camp. It shot out rays of colorful heat that radiated this red glowing warmth of kindness, that’s the only way I can describe it.With in about 3 minutes the space crafts zipped back up into the night sky and formed into one craft again and vanished in a light of speed up into the stars.I slowly made my way back to the camp. I couldn’t hear anyone.When I got back to the camp there was no one left. No one but Bojo. He was now glowing with some sort of reddish green energy around his head. He was alive again levitating above the fire sitting Indian style. His face was morphing into what looked like Marshal Applewhite as it spun around gaining speed on each spin.I aimed the shotgun at the back of his head and blasted a massive hole through his head.A light of screaming sound and zillions of black particles that looked like angry miniature bees came buzzing out into the sky.His body fell to the ground and began twitching. I went up to it, staring at it, his body started changing different colors and his head caught on fire and he let out this alien like ear screeching animal howl from some other world.I blew another huge bullet hole into his chest and he seemed to be still after that. His body warped into what looked like some baby slimy alien like ball of guck that withered up into a curled fetus and shot up into the sky and was gone.I stood there covered in my blood still holding the shotgun.My eyeballs seemed to shoot around in the top of my skull.I looked up into the sky and started hysterically laughing. I spinned around the fire in circles non-stop blasting off the shotgun into the night air.
　
no more chances
Bynrm
Myron stared at his zitty sleepless face in the mirror. One of his eyes had turned bright red from not sleeping for 7 days. He felt insane. His hands shook uncontrollably. His wife, Samantha walked into the bathroom."What you doing honey? Would you please try and get some sleep? Take my last xanax if you want.""It won’t work. Nothing does anymore." He said with an unstable sounding voice."You are really starting to worry me honey," she said, trying to stroke his arm."Don’t touch me dammit!" he exploded.His wife got in her car and sped off down the street.She was sick of dealing with the freak.Myron walked into his backyard and sat in the sun and began to weep."Fuk this!" he screamed.He went back in his house and began flushing all the drugs down the toilet. He grabbed all his drug pipes and smashed them one by one.When he was done he felt a sense of accomplishment. He forced himself to eat a piece of bread. He lie in bed staring up at the ceiling."I need a dam hobby, a healthy way to kill time." He said to himself.He got on his computer and looked up local ping-pong clubs. As a boy and teen he always loved playing ping-pong. Samantha pulled back up in the driveway.She came barging in and gave him a dirty look."Where’s the shit Myron, I need a bump big time," she said."It’s all gone. All of it. I’m done with all that shit.""What do you mean it’s gone? Where the fuk is it?""I flushed it all down the toilet cause it is nothing but poison that is ruining our lives.""You are fuking kidding me right? Right!""No I’m not. I’m going to start playing ping pong again and maybe join a church.""Oh my God! You really have lost your fuking mind this time! What the fuk are you talking about? Ping Pong? Church? You need some serious mental help Myron! Now give me my share of the dam drugs! I know you couldn’t have flushed it all!""It’s all gone Samantha. You need to stop using as well. That shit is destroying us both.""Speak for yourself Myron! I can function just fine on it!"Samantha slapped Myron in the face and began swinging wild girly punches at him. He just stood there and took it until she was done. She stormed off out of the driveway again in search of a fix.Myron got a bunch of colored markers out and began writing all over the walls.Things like…I am now healed. Now I have seen the light. I will become a ping-pong champion and start my own church. I ask for forgiveness for all my sins. I can now hear the sun voices through the clouds.He went on and on for hours writing all sorts of bizarre things on his walls in different colors.He curled up on the floor when he was done in a fetal position and began sucking his thumb begging God for sleep. Promising he would change.Just as he was about to finally get to sleep, Samantha came storming in the front door wired to the gills."Oh no." Myron muttered.She came into the main room and her mouth dropped open when she saw the writing on the walls."What the hell is this? Do I need to call the mental hospital to come pick you up Myron!""Just leave me alone! I am trying to change my life for the better! Can’t you understand that!""What about my life Myron! What the fuk about my life! For your information we are drug addicts. It’s what we are good at. I don’t give a shit about ping pong and I have no intentions of quitting drugs or joining some church!" she screamed."Then fuk off please, leave me alone. I need to heal.""WHAT? WHAT? WHAT DID YOU SAY?" she yelled, her hands shaking."You heard me, go stay at one of your dope dealers houses or go stay with your mom for a while. Just get away from me. Please."Samantha kicked him in the balls as hard as she could and sped out of the driveway. Myron grabbed his balls trying to breath, rolling around on the floor in agony.He finally got a few hours sleep, which helped his head clear up just enough to feel almost alive again. He managed to eat another piece of bread and sip on some orange juice. He went back to bed and prayed for sleep. He managed to fall asleep for 14 hours. When he awoke he felt like a new man. He drove down to the local gym where they held table tennis matches. He asked some of the people how he could get signed up to play and they gladly helped him.After that he went to a church down the street that he had always wondered about. He wrote down their hours and what time they held services. Next he went to an NA meeting down the street from his house where he shared a little bit of his story with the others.He was feeling much better about himself and his new choices until he pulled back up to his house and saw Samantha’s car in the driveway. A feeling of doom came over him when he saw her car. He walked in and couldn’t find her anywhere."Samantha? Where are you?" he yelled.He found her in the bathroom with a needle stuck in her arm. Her body was lying on the bathroom floor lifeless.Myron picked her body up and began shaking her."Samantha!" he screamed, He ran to the phone to call paramedics. He tried to give her CPR. It was too late. She was dead.The day after her death he sat alone in his house staring at all the writings on the walls. He had brought out every picture he could find of her and had them all laying around him in a circle on the floor.He loaded up another huge bowl of meth and his quivering lips sucked all the smoke out of it. He didn’t understand why he couldn’t just change once and for all.His new ping-pong paddle sat next to him. He called a few rehab centers but just hung up the phone when they started asking him too many personal questions.


the sick one
By nrm
I was at some bar in the middle of Iowa. I had parked my big rig early this day cause all I felt like doing was getting drunk. It was snowing outside and the roads were terrible.I was slugging down whiskey and staring at the bartender lady. With each drink she started looking better and better.She was probably about 100 pounds over weight. I kind of figured she had spurted out several kids in her lifetime. She looked about 50 maybe. She had a real bad frizzy perm with dyed blonde hair. There were a couple rednecks sitting down on the other side of the bar that kept giving me dirty looks. They kept getting louder too the more they drank.The bartender lady was mostly down on their side, chatting them up and giggling away.I looked around the rest of the bar to see if I had any other female options for the night. There was only one other lady in the bar. She weighed about 400 pounds and was sitting by herself drinking and chomping down popcorn in some dark booth in the back.I guzzled a few more drinks and decided to try and go talk to her. When I got closer to her I could see that she had one of those down syndrome faces. I didn’t know retards drank. Fuk it."Hi there, my names Roscoe, mind if I sit with you?"I asked her.She let out this weird hackling laugh like choking sound and popcorn came spraying out of her mouth."Sure you can!" she said.I sat across from her trying to get a good look at her face through my whiskey goggles."So what’s your name?" I asked her."My name is Belinda but my grandparents just call me Bindy." She said.I expected her voice to be more retarded sounding, but it wasn’t all that bad."So you live around here?" I asked her."I’m not aspose to talk to strangers." She informed me, rocking back and forth in her booth."Well we are not strangers anymore. You know my name and I know your name." I said, smiling at her."I go to Disneyland last summer with Gladys!" she blurted out, popcorn spraying all over me."Oh wow, that sounds like fun, who’s Gladys?""She my friend from camp.""Cool" I said."Can I buy you a drink?""Sure you can!" she yelled at me."What are you drinking?" I asked."log island rice tea!""You mean long island ice tea?""Dats what I said silly!"I went up to the bar to get us some fresh drinks."Fuking faggot looking creep." One of the red necks said under his breath to me as the bartender was fetching my drinks. I just pretended I didn’t hear him. I was in no mood for a fight on this night, especially two on one.I sat back down with Belinda but now there was an odd smell wafting around the booth. It smelled like she may have shit her pants, so I just tried to breath through my mouth."My favorite music is the Go Go’s!" she suddenly yelled at me."Ok. That’s great, yeah they have some good songs don’t they?""Fuk you!" she blurted out."Excuse me?" I asked her."Sowwy," she said, with some big goofy grin forming on her face. What teeth she had left were brown and dark yellow."How old are you Belinda?""I’m 43 and a half since last year.""Has anyone ever told you Belinda that you are very pretty?""I’m not a spose to talk to strangers.""You already told me that, but we are not strangers anymore, understand?""OK then!" she yelled."Hey, you know I have some great Go Go’s cds back in my truck. Would you want to come back to my truck and listen to them?""Ok Then!""Alrighty then Belinda, lets get out of here.""Where we going?" she asked."I just told you, now come on, follow me."We walked across the snow-covered street back to the truck stop where I was parked. For a second I had a coherent sobering thought. I questioned what the hell I was doing.What the fuk was wrong with me? I was a very sick man."You drive big truck do you do you do you!" she yelled at me."Why yes I do, it’s right over here."We climbed in my truck and she sat in the passenger seat and just started laughing for no apparent reason."What’s so funny?" I asked her."Me did poo poo in my pants cause of log island rice teas!" she yelled."You silly girl, I thought I smelled something yucky."I turned on the stereo and it was led zeppelin playing."Dis is not duh Go Go’s!" she screamed."I know, but I bet the Go Go’s like led zeppelin, so that makes it ok, right?""OK then!" she screamed."Want to sit on my bed?""OK then!"We sat on my bed and I almost felt like I was going to throw up for a second cause of the horrible shit smell coming from her crapped in pants."Have you ever kissed a man Belinda?""NO! you stupid! Ha!""Can I try and kiss you?""Ok then!"I moved in close to her face and gently started kissing her un responsive lips."Open your mouth up a little more and use your tongue." I coached her."Dat felt icky! Icky!Icky!" she yelled."Lets try it again,"I grabbed her face and started sticking my tongue down her mouth. I started trying to rub her gigantic flubbery pussy area. That’s when she freaked out!She chomped down on my lip, biting part of it off!"You no touch my coochie! You no touch my wee wee! No No No! You a bad bad man! Let me out of truck!""But Belinda, this is what grown ups do." I said, while blood spurted from my lip.She managed to open the door herself and run off into the snow-covered truck stop screaming something about her coochie."Fuk man, what is wrong with me!" I screamed.I passed out into some drunken fog. But at about 3 in the morning I heard some hick screaming at the top of his lungs and pounding on my truck."Git yer ass out here boy! Yee fuking sick fuk! Trying to touch my dam sister were you!"I opened my truck curtains and saw some crazed hick in a big cowboy hat pounding on my truck. Belinda stood behind him."He try and touch my pee pee!""Oh fuk man." I hopped out of my truck."Look dude, calm down, it wasn’t like that, me and Belinda had a few drinks and she got the wrong idea and and.." I stuttered."You sick Fuk!" the crazed redneck yelled at me.He punched me as hard as he could in my face. My head flew backwards violently. He clobbered me again in the back of my head and I fell to the ground. I saw a big pointy cowboy boot coming towards my face and then I blacked out. While I was un conscious he continued to kick me in the ribs and face non-stop until Belinda screamed."No mo Billy No mo Billy! You gonna kill duh bad man!"I woke up in some weird Iowa hospital two days later. I had three broken ribs, a broken jaw, a fractured skull, a broken leg, most of my teeth had been knocked out, and I had some internal stomach bleeding.I suppose I learned my lesson. Now to this day whenever I see a person with that down syndrome face I begin shaking with fear, and I cant look at them without having a full blown panic attack.
by nrmmad man at the windowI was parked at some scary truck stop out in the middle of nowhere land. Somewhere south. I think it was Alabama. I was right on the border of some other state I can’t recall.Some other state where they promote inbreeding.It was a run down shithole of a truck stop that was just a dirt lot with big potholes all over. The only place to park was way in the back. It was dark out and I had been driving for over ten hours. I was tired and hungry.I locked up my truck and walked over to the only greasy diner around. I ordered a hamburger that looked like a pile of greasy crap with uncooked French fries. I kept staring at the skuzzy looking dude in the back cooking it. He kept glaring back at me with hatred.I sat there eating it, watching cockroaches run across the floor and up the walls."What’s the name of this town? Mam?" I asked this crazed looking skeleton like lady who was slumped in the corner of a booth.She opened her mouth but there were no teeth in her mouth."Gula downs slodak fer sho" she answered.Have I stumbled into some twilight zone episode? What the hell kind of weird ass place is this? The quicker I get to sleep and get out of here in the morning, the better.I threw most of the food away. I was walking by another truck and I heard what sounded like sexual pig noises, or goat’s fuking or something. I walked by another truck and the driver had his inside light on. He was just sitting there with this insane look on his face staring at me. Then he waved at me with both hands. I started walking quicker to my truck. I walked by another truck and some voice from the window goes.."Yo yo yo. Hey Yo Yo Yo!"Why cant people just leave me alone. Seriously. What is wrong with these people? I saw another truck with the inside cab light on. It was these two Japanese looking twins, both eating noodles with chopsticks out of some plastic containers.I was almost at my truck when this retched looking run down smelly prostitute (or as truckers call them, lot lizard)Came coughing over towards me mumbling some sort of drunken cracked out gibberish about if I wanted a date or something. I just ignored her and got in my truck and locked the doors. She stood in front of my truck."Fuk you mothafuker!" she screamed at me and flipped me off.I sat in my front seat for a while in the darkness. I noticed these two shady looking guys with bolt cutters messing around the back of some guys trailer. I watched them cut the lock off the back. But for some reason they panicked and ran off without opening the back trailer door.This is the kind of place where I’d feel a lot safer if I had a loaded gun with me.Some real scary looking homeless guy with bugged out eyeballs suddenly appeared at my window, knocking on it. It scared the shit out of me."What!" I screamed at him.He was making some sort of weird hand gestures like he wanted me to roll down the window. Dried up cottage cheese encrusted around the corners of his chapped lips."Get the fuk away from my truck dude!" I yelled at him.I shut my truck curtains and grabbed my knife. I stuck it under my pillow and tried to fall asleep. But now I couldn’t sleep. This place I had stumbled into for the night was starting to creep me out big time. I heard some woman screaming off in the distance out in the woods. Next I could have sworn I heard someone at the back of my truck trailer thumping around and blubbering silly rap songs.After many hours of tossing and turning and hearing weird noises outside I was just about to fall asleep when this loud violent banging on my window shot my head out of bed in a total panic. I grabbed my knife. And again this monstrous pounding on my window. Fuk man, I was scared now. My heart was racing."What the fuk do you want! Me and my wife are trying to sleep in here!" I yelled at whoever was pounding on my window. I figured if they thought I had my wife in here maybe they’d leave me alone.I was frightened to open my window curtain and see who it was. But once again…."Pound! Pound! Pound! Thump Thump Thump!""That’s fuking it!" I tried to inflate my balls, clutching my knife, and I swung the curtain open.It was some insane looking cracked out of his mind black dude. He must have been about six foot seven.Some giant afro. He had blood all over his hands and what looked like bugs crawling around in his fro."Roll down the mothah fuking window white boy!" he demanded."Get the fuk away from my truck!" I yelled, holding my knife up for him to see."I say roll down the mothah fuking window!""I’m about to pull my gun out and blow your brains out you psycho! You got 2 seconds to get away from my truck!"He gave me some insane look and barfed all this orange looking bile all over my window and sprinted off between some other trucks.I was almost in shock. I shut my curtains again and checked to make sure my doors were locked. I just couldn’t believe it. What did he want? My shaky hands reached for my cell phone to call the cops. And sure enough my cell phone was not picking up any reception. This was like some horror movie now. I thought about starting my truck up and driving somewhere else but I looked at the map and there were no other truck stops for the next 100 miles and I had driven all day.I tried to lie down again, but I mostly just kept staring at the clock as hours went by with no sleep. At about 3:30 in the morning it happened again."THUMP THUMP THUMP!" on my window.I thought I was about to have a heart attack. I jumped out of bed and grabbed my knife."I’m gonna have to shoot your ass now! I warned you asshole!" I yelled, trying to sound scary.I flung the curtains open and he wasn’t there. Just as I started to calm down again and try and lie down, he was now thumping on the side of my trailer with what sounded like a sledgehammer."WHY? JUST TELL ME WHY GOD?" I screamed.I tried my cell phone again and it worked! Oh thank God!I dialed 911 and told the lady on the phone what was going on and that I needed some cops to come get this guy."What County are you in sir?" she asked me in this rude tone."I don’t fuking know! I’m at the only truck stop around here for 100 miles in some backwoods fuked up town! Somewhere in Alabama and I’m on the border of some other hillbilly crazed state!""Sir, you need to relax and stop cursing at me or I wont be able to help you.""Ok, fine, but did you hear what I said? Some crazy crack head with blood all over his hands keeps pounding on my truck and telling me to roll down my window!""I understand that sir. What’s the name of the truck stop?" she asked."I don’t know. I don’t think it has a name. Maybe its called the shittiest place on earth truck stop! How does that sound!""Can you see any landmarks around you sir?""Wait, wait, I ate at some greasy diner. I think the place was called Greta’s kitchen or something. Does that help?""Ok sir. I know where you are. I have dispatched a patrol car to come out there. I just need your name and what truck you are in?""My name? What for?" I asked, getting all-paranoid."Sir, do you want our help or not?""Well yeah, but I don’t want to give out my name and tell you what truck I’m in and all that, cant the cops just drive around the back of the truck stop and see if they can get this crazy dude?"I had whiskey bottles in my truck and a few illegal drug type things. I didn’t want any cops questioning me."Ok sir, a patrol car is on it’s way.""Thank you mam."I sat there all paranoid, occasionally peeking out my curtains to see what kind of horrors were out there.I lay in bed staring up at the trucks roof. I started feeling real angry and bummed out that I had not slept. I don’t think the cops ever did come. I never heard any sort of vehicle out there. Luckily that crazy window thumper seems to have gone away. The sun began to rise and I felt a little safer. I opened my curtains and started my truck up on no sleep. I just wanted to get as far away from this place as possible.
　
by nrm
American Family
Simon got home from his construction job, grabbed a cold beer out of the fridge, and sat his fat ass down in his lazy boy. He grabbed the remote and started flipping through the news channels. All the news was still coverage on Michael Jackson’s death."Enough already, he was a child molesting plastic surgery nightmare drug addict! I’m so sick of hearing about this weirdo!" he yelled at the TV.His timid wife was in the kitchen cooking up some tacos for his fat ass. Her hands shook from the 4 different medications she was on."I mean shit! This aint news, what the fuk is going on with North Korea and them nukes! And what about all them sand niggers in Iran? What the hell is going on over there? King of pop my ass. More like the king of bullshit!" Simon yelled at the TV.His wife’s nervous shaking hands mixed up the taco meat. She was on the verge of having her tenth nervous break down."When is supper ready you dumb bitch!""In in in bu bu bu about te te ten minutes honey." She answered."Well fuking hurry up, I work all dam day and you can’t even have supper ready for me when I get home! And grab me another beer woman!"Her shaking hands handed him another beer.Their 40-year-old son who still lived with them came stumbling into the living room, scratching his head like he just woke up. His stained sweats he never changed out of with no underwear underneath. His gross boner always sticking up."Dam boy, when are you gonna get a job and get your shit together? What do you do all day long besides jerk off and sleep?""Daddy, I told you I’m reapplying for disability unemployment. I can’t work. You know what the doctors say about me. I got mental problems. That’s why im on medication.""The entire world has mental problems boy, but everyone still works for a living. You lousy sack of shit.""My wife is a fuking mental case. My son is a dam retard. All the news ever talks about is some dead freak that liked to touch little boys. The dam country elected a half-breed to be president. What the hell is this world coming to?""Obama is a very smart man Daddy! You shouldn’t be so racist. Obama is going to save the world from war Daddy!""Shut up retard." Simon said, farting.The overweight goofy looking son went into the kitchen."Mommy, why is Daddy so mean all the time?" he asked her."He is is is you you your fa fa fa fa father, he lo lo loves uh uh uh us."They all sat down at the dinner table. The son began shoving two tacos at a time down his throat. Sour cream all over his face. Simon sat there waffling down tacos while slugging more beer and farting up a storm. The wife just sort of picked at her salad with trembling hands, mumbling stutters to herself."One of these days, I’m just gonna decide I don’t feel like working either. I’m gonna walk out of here on the both of you! And then where would you losers be!" Simon said, letting out a huge belch and fart at the same time."OOOPS, think that one is running down my dam leg.""Did you do my dang laundry woman? I need a clean pair of bridges.""Yea yea yes. I di di di did lau lau lau landry.""Der duh duh der der duh! Well don’t just sit there woman, go get me a clean pair of bridges, cause I just shit in these ones.""Daddy! Why you gotta always shit yourself at the dinner table?""Shut up retard, it’s my dam house. I pay the bills, I’ll shit where ever I please."The 300-pound goofy smelly son ran off into his room to play with his star wars action figures and pick his ears and nose while rubbing his dick.Simon took off his shit in underwear at the dinner table and threw them at his wife’s face."Eat some of that woman! Might get rid of all that retarded stuttering your always doing."The wife ran off into her room in tears, her entire body going into some sort of crazed shivering panic attack.Simon sat back in his lazy boy and continued slamming beers and yelling at the TV. He looked out his backyard window at the dead lawn. There were auto parts all over, useless tires, broken down microwaves and rats running around."Boy! Get your fat ass back out here now!" Simon screamed.His son came waddling out rubbing his dick with a huge booger hanging from his nose, holding one of his toys."Tomorrow when I’m at work, I want you and your crazy mother to clean up that dam backyard! Understand me!""I don’t wana do that daddy. I don’t wana."Simon stood up. Drunk as ever. He slapped his son across the face and punched him in his fat gut."I didn’t ask you if you wanted to do it. I told you your dam well gonna do it!"His obese son dropped to the floor and began gasping for breath as tears came streaming down his face.The wife came out of her room holding a kitchen knife in her trembling hands."Neh neh no muh muh muh more. Ne ne ne never hee hee hee hit him a a a gain.""What the hell you doing with that knife woman?" Simon asked, grabbing it off her, and smacking her across the face.Simon suddenly got an intense pain in his heart. He clutched his chest, slumping back in his lazy boy."Oh Jesus, OH shit. I’m having another heart attack. Don’t just lay there on the floor you morons! Call 911!"His wife ran to the phone and picked it up. But the Son grabbed it out of her hands and hung it back up."No mommy, not this time. NO!"Their tearful eyes looked at each other. They embraced in a long hug. Simon lie on his lazy boy in a massive amount of pain. clutching his chest."What the fuk you idiots doing in there? Help me!"After about 15 minutes Simon was silent. Mother and son stood there staring at his lifeless body."What do we do now mommy?" the son asked.

By nrm
That Woman

Gina awoke in her blood-splattered motel 6 to find laying next to her the bloated dead body of another john she must have killed while in one of her blackouts. She cycled through her mind to try and remember what had happened while she wiped off streams of diarrhea from her face & lips. Flashbacks of torture, sex, poop eating, came racing back to her in movie like images inside her fuked up head. She tried to block it out. Just block it all out like she had done with all her problems through most of her life.The stench in the crappy little motel room was too much for her nostrils to handle. She let out a gagging throat slit cow gargling snarling pig like sound, putting her hand to her mouth, trying to hold it back. Projectile vomit came shooting through the cracks in her fingers until she sprayed the entire wall with 3 pounds of yellowish orange shit colored vomit chunks that slipped down the wall in slow motion color…. like some genius rejected art masterpiece of stomach juiced slime.Gina went outside to the trunk of her car. She brought in a large duffle bag. Inside the duffle bag were hacks saws, razor sharp sling blades, ropes, ky jelly, massive hunting knives and a small chain saw. She started on his fat stubby left leg with a hacksaw. She began digging it into his flesh as blood spurted everywhere. When she hit the bone she began feverishly sawing as hard as her 100-pound frame could. Her thin straw like meth riddled arms; sweat dripping down her crazed blue eyes to her constantly moving jaw.She had shot the last of her tweak right before the body chopping began. Her pupils huge with the job at hand. She could not leave any evidence. Not like last time. Last time she was too sloppy and the pigs were on to her. Fireworks kept going off outside for the fourth of July. Every time she heard an exploding firework, a paranoid feeling would come over her and she would rush to the window, peeking out the blinds, looking up at the colorful humid sky.She had most of his body in plastic black garbage bags after a few hours of work. All that was left was his torso and his pale blue face. Blood dripping down one side of his open dry lips.The john’s eyes still wide open frozen in some sort of shock.Gina looked into his eyes, grabbed his hair and began rubbing her bloody naked breasts into the dead mans face as she wept."Oh god, oh god, oh god, I can see the light of the future through each of my killings, and I know lord, I just know, I’m doing your requested work…" she sobbed, sticking one of her hard nipples into the dead johns open mouth.She hacked his head off next and loaded that into a cooler full of ice and put his torso into another black garbage bag and tied it up. Gina began loading the body parts into the trunk of her shitty car. The summer sun beat down unforgiving. It was about 115 out this day. The kind of sticky hot weather where people don’t want to leave their air-conditioned apartments. Where you step outside for 5 minutes and your shirt is soaking wet, glued to your hot body. The world was melting. The world was getting hotter each year.Gina pulled out onto the main avenue, her hands trembling, she babbled off old catholic prayers to herself she had learned while a catholic schoolgirl 20 years ago.As luck would have it a fuking state trooper pulled out of a street corner right behind her. Tail gaiting her. She reached under her seat for her loaded 357 just incase the dumb cop decided to pull her over. It wouldn’t be the first cop she had to kill. Her tweaking eyes darted back and forth in the rear view mirror as she watched her speed and tried to drive as straight as she could. After a few blocks the dumb ignorant hillbilly cop pulled off down another drug infested side road to go fuk with some black poverty ridden crack dealers who were just trying to make an honest living.Gina scratched her sweaty STD infested crotch and hit the freeway. She got off on an old farm road and pulled up to an empty ghost like Catholic Church out in the boonies where the priest who use to molest her growing up still worked and gave Sunday mass.She worked quickly, grabbing the hefty bags from her trunk and dumping them on the front door step of the church until her trunk was empty. Gina then grabbed john’s head from her ice cooler. She wrote a note on pink paper that read. "Oh father, oh holy one? I have killed another one just for you!"She stapled the note to his bleeding forehead and impaled the head through an iron pole near the steps of the old church.She got back in her car and burned rubber out of there. Gina drove to the truck stop up in the Mountains. She was late for her shift. She was a stripper at the small dinky strip club behind the truck stop called, ‘A Trucker’s paradise.’She lit a smoke as she pulled up. She stared at all the slimy truckers who were parked at the truck stop. She stared at their purring engines & all the logos and different colors of their trucks.She hated truckers. They were the scum of the earth as far as she was concerned. Nothing but southern hillbilly uneducated perverted animals with no morals or conscious. She doubted most of them could even read. Gina despised men, but she hated truckers the most. With their smelly fat bodies drunk every night trying to shove dollar bills down her thong while they ‘yee hawed!’ at the moon and tried their hardest to cheat on their toothless white trash wives far away in some other state.Gina walked to the front doors of her stripper job. A skinny weird looking dude with an offset somewhat deformed face was taking the final drag off his cigarette outside the strip club.Gina didn’t think he was a trucker. He didn’t look like the average trucker. Something about the way his greasy half long black hair covered one side of his face sort of intrigued her.The odd hunched over man walked to the front door and opened it for Gina, not saying a word, just sort of staring into her eyes and giving her a crooked smirk.His name was Roscoe. Roscoe Martini to be exact.And he was a trucker, not a true trucker at heart, but he was a traveler, a soul-wandering traveler of the United States map. To him life was one big adventure each day. He was really just sort of a fuk up in life who some how had the cracked out idea one day to become a truck driver. 3 months after that thought he was driving his companies 200 thousand dollar big rig down the freeways of America exploring places he had only heard of. He only drove his big rig as much as he had to so they wouldn’t fire him. He had always been a slacker no matter what kind of work he was doing. The less work the better life is was his philosophy. Most days after a few hours driving, maybe five or 7 tops, he would stop in some new town, some new state, some new city, with new people, and he’d find a bar and do what he did. He mostly liked to watch other humans. He was always taking mental notes in his head about people for later on when he pounded away on a keyboard in the back of his dark lonely truck at night as whiskey filled his blood."Thanks," she said, staring into his face.He lifted his arms to the air and said.."The world is yours my beautiful queen."She sort of gave an uncomfortable laugh and went into her dressing room to get into her stripper outfit and snort some more meth or hopefully some coke. All the other strippers would usually have something when Gina was running low. Share and share a like. It was a small town. Tight nit crew of people that all seemed to look out for one another. Everybody knew everybody’s business. They didn’t like out of towner’s poking around. Even the cops in this town were always high as fuk on methamphetimines. Shit. 95 percent of the town was on some sort of drug. Either stoned on super hydro weed, or on uppers, or drunk on pills. The town was like their own little twilight zone utopia of drug abuse hidden and kept somewhat secret from the rest of the world. It was sort of a backwoods type place at first glance, up in the green lush mountains. A real creepy vibe. That was their main rule. Only deal with locals and keep your mouth shut about the secrets of the town.Gina snorted three gigantic lines of meth up her rotting nose, she had no time to try and mess with a needle to find a vein.Her sleazy heavy industrial song came on and some creepy looking DJ with a slick 70’s fu man chu who was wearing a polyester jump suit slurred into the microphone…"Lets give a warm welcome all you truckers.. To Crystal!"That was Gina’s stripper name..She came out and started doing this sexy cat like dance around the stage rubbing her tits and her pussy while she slid up and down the pole, her mind wanting nothing but these scum bags money.Every time she looked at a man she imagined what it would be like to kill him and chop him up and make pancakes out of his intestines.That odd looking dude, who always looked out of place where ever he went, Roscoe, was sitting right up front near the stage with a handful of one dollar bills, and fives, and tens. Roscoe had just got paid the day before. He was bi polar. They use to try and tell him he was schizophrenic too, but he knew he wasn’t. He felt great with out his meds. Whenever he had money he would spend it all right away in some drunken drugged out daze. He could never save money. Never. Many times he’d wake up the next day all hung over and puking promising himself he’d quit drinking. He’d open his wallet and it would be empty and he would begin to panic and cry. Being broke for another two weeks. Living off ramen and sometimes running out of truck stop restaurants with out paying the bill.Roscoe would realize that if he didn’t hurry up the load he was pulling in his trailer would never make it on time to its weird back woods town. Always in some weird state out in the middle of nowhere. Sometimes he would drive through these rinky-dink little towns and wonder how people could end up there and why they would stay. Many times he was an unwelcomed guest at the local bar. Looking into his whisky glass. Never attempting to speak to any of the locals who glared back at him wondering if he was an outer space alien. He’d drive down the freeway sometimes in the slow lane puking into a trash can or dry heaving for miles and miles when he was hungover, swerving all over the lanes as other truckers talked shit to him over the CB.Most days he’d listen to music for hours & hours as he traveled through many state lines.For some reason this Roscoe guy thought life was one big crazy comedy mixed with a never-ending nightmare. He saw himself as living in some sort of movie. He thought he was the star actor in this imaginary movie that only he had a ticket for.Roscoe would also carry on long conversations with him self sometimes while driving. Sometimes up to four or 7 different characters from his head would all start carrying on a conversation in different voices out loud. Sometimes he would record these conversations on his mini tape recorder. But he was always too scared to listen to them later unless he was shit face wasted on booze or drugs.Ok, back to the strip club. So Gina came right up to Roscoe’s weird off set drunken face and began breathing into his ears getting him all hot and horny. He shoved bills down her thong as some huge security guard stood next to Roscoe eyeing him. Waiting for him to make one bad move so he could throw him out. Roscoe had been thrown out of too many strip clubs as of late, and too many bars.. He made sure he didn’t touch her in anyway. Just carefully put the bills down her thong when she opened it."Thanks baby, I think I love you, care for a couch dance?" Crystal whispered in Roscoe’s ear.Roscoe looked deep into her pale blue eyes and suddenly he saw. Images of Gina killing men, chopping them up, drinking their blood, screaming at the night sky…Roscoe had that third eye thing. Ever since he was young. He had visions and could see into people’s true souls.His hands began shaking, while Gina flaunted her big gapping vaginal shaved hole in front of his eyes.Roscoe stood up, and quickly went to sit at the bar, away from her.His hands were shaking as he ordered another double cranberry and vodka."You ok sweet thang? Looks like you just seen a ghost?"this mullet headed bartender lady asked with a huge protruding stretch marked pregnant gut."Drink please, drink please." Roscoe managed to stutter, his hands and legs shaking like crazy.He slugged down his drink. He felt her presence behind him, looking into the back of his head.He turned around and stared at Gina. More visions came of chaos, screaming animals locked in a barb wire fence starving, a shed where she kept human body parts, some sort of sewing machine where she made skin suits. Hefty bags stuffed with body parts,"Still think I’m a beauty queen Mr.? And how bout that couch dance?" She said, grinding her jaw all over the place, slowly reaching out and stroking Roscoe’s skinny pale arm.Roscoe didn’t respond. He turned away from her and ordered 4 shots of tequila. Guzzling down 2 quickly. Gina sat next to him, somewhat fascinated with a man for the first time in 15 years.She stared at him as his shaky hands reached for another shot."What’s a matter?" cant you speak? You a deaf mute or what!" Gina bellowed out, burping..Roscoe looked her straight in the eyes, lit a cig for her, and slid the final shot over to her, not saying a word, just sort of giving her another crooked smirk.That’s when a huge fight broke out between that gigantic black security guard and some loud mouth beer bellied trucker in over alls. They tackled each other across the floor into all the stools, and knocked Roscoe flying off his stool. Somehow the grizzly adams looking white trash trucker ended up on top of the security guard."Fuk wit me ya dam niggah! Come on boy! I’ll slap the living shit out of ya black ass!" the trucker yelled, while his hands rained down punches on the squirming security guard.Gina grabbed her stool, and casually walked over to where they were fighting. She clobbered it over the hillbilly’s head. There was this loud cracking sound that could be heard over the music like a gunshot. The big greasy drunken truckers body went limp and he went face first into the floor.Roscoe assumed the guy was dead. Blood began pouring out of the huge hole on the top of his head and that’s when polyester DJ man killed the music.One albino black stripper who looked like she had been living off meth and cigarettes for the last ten years let out this horrid ear-screeching scream.Most of the horny drunken truckers decided to get the fuk out of there and go pass out in their trucks. Truckers don’t like cops. And sure enough that ugly pregnant bartender was on the phone calling 911 with some putrid frown on her eroding meth face of acne.The big goofy black security guard came up to Gina."Danks, I owe doos one." I think he meant to say thanks but had some kind of clef pallet going on or something strange.Besides the strippers running around freaking out, there was only Roscoe left in the place and one other dork. He looked like one of those clean cut non-drinking no drug taking professional type of trucker. One of those guys who takes his job way to seriously, like he is some huge asset to society. He was busy putting his shirt underneath the grizzly Adams dudes bleeding melon. I took a closer look at the guys bleeding head and Roscoe could see little particles of brain matter starting to throb out of his cracked open skull.Gina just stood there calm as could be smoking her cigarette.She came right up to Roscoe’s face, and more images of her secret life began flashing before him like some nightmarish slide show."How bout that couch dance now?" she whispered into his ear in a real slow sexy voice. She stuck her tongue down his ear before she pulled away. He instantly got a hard on."Sure. Why not?"She grabbed his hand and they walked off into some dark corner of the place where they had these red silky couches and dimly lit strobe lights on the ceiling.The other strippers, security man, dork trucker, all stood around the bar arguing about what they were going to tell the cops. Gina wasted no time getting on top of Roscoe and gyrating her vaginal muscles into his hard on while she rubbed her milk white breasts into his weird drunken face.She turned around and stuck her perfectly formed ass a few inches from his nose and Roscoe took in a deep smell through his nostrils. Gina smelled like honey strawberries mixed with dank stinky meth sweat.Roscoe whispered in her ear.."Aren’t you worried about the cops coming, what are you gonna tell them?""Oh baby, I never worry, I blow half the cops in this town, plus I was only protecting a fellow employee. They can’t do anything to Princess Crystal. Now relax baby. Let your dick do all the thinking and let your mind go blank and enjoy."It was dark where Roscoe was getting his couch dance. He couldn’t get a good look at her eyes, which was for the best. It’s only in the light and when he looks deep into someone’s eyes that he gets the images of who they really are."You can touch me if you want" Crystal told him."You sure?""Sure baby, something about you really turns me on." She said, licking his forehead slowly, her tongue making its way down to Roscoe’s eager lips.They embraced in a wet sloppy kiss. Roscoe’s hands began feeling her all over and she let out a sexy moan like she was getting wet.Roscoe began reaching for her shaved vagina, sticking a few fingers in her slimy love canal."I want you inside me." She told him.That’s when two cops came into the strip club and began questioning people as to what happened to the bleeding trucker on the floor."Shit, guess we better head over there and talk to them." Gina said, removing his fingers from inside her.Gina walked away, turned around to look at Roscoe, and blew him a kiss. He just sat there with some dumbfounded look on his creepy face. Massive hard on bulging from his jeans.Roscoe didn’t want to walk over there till his hard on went down.He was paranoid about the silliest things.So he just sat there thinking of boring shit to try and make it go down. He thought of baseball, golf, algebra problems, hiking. It still wasn’t going down so he brought out the big guns. He thought of a 97 year old lady with globs of cellulite spread eagle on a bed with vomit all over her crotch as a double headed mutant eel came squirming out of her vagina, while she begged Roscoe for some hard cock in her encrusted dieing saggy brown hole that smelled like three week old rotting gorilla turds.His hard on went down right away and he stood up.The paramedics arrived and began doing what they do."He still has a pulse!" one of them yelled. They loaded him onto a stretcher, wrapping his head up in gauze. That super trucker dorko professional guy kept telling the paramedics how he was putting pressure on his head to stop the bleeding. He told them about 5 times, like he wanted some sort of good human of the year award.Roscoe sort of stood in the background sucking on peoples drinks they had left sitting at all the tables. Free Booze. What could be better? Trying to ease drop on what Gina and one of the cops was talking about. She whispered something in the pig’s ear, licking it, and the ugly cop got this ridiculous grin on his face. He wrote down the police report, slapped Gina on the ass, and him and his inbred looking partner were gone.A few bearded smelly truckers entered the place. More and more truckers started piling back into the strip club. The music started again and some bleach blonde over weight stripper with a dumb cowboy hat on was up on the stage dancing around to some awful country song. Her massive boobs flopping all around, while retarded truckers began yelling out hillbilly gibberish yowls.Roscoe looked around for that crazy serial killing Gina, but she seemed to have disappeared into the back dressing rooms.Whatever, Roscoe thought to himself, sitting back down on a stool at the bar and ordering a double jack and coke.That super dork trucker sat next to Roscoe and tried to start up a conversation."Wild night tonight hey there buddy?"Roscoe didn’t even look at him; he just stared down at his drink."So you a truck driver too?" the dork asked."Fuk! Look man, I aint up for any mundane chit chat, so just fuk off and go sit somewhere else!" Roscoe screamed at the man."Hey pal! I was just trying to be friendly! You know what! Fuk you! You got a problem with me?" the dork screamed, throwing his stool to the side & getting in some sort of karate stance."You wanna try me! Eh? Anytime your ready pal!" he yelled.Roscoe was a little stunned, but also didn’t mind a good fight when he was all plastered on liquor.Roscoe slugged down the rest of his drink and went to stand up off the stool but fell backwards in some awkward drunken stupor, hitting his head on the floor.The big security guard came up at that point and grabbed that dork by the shirt and started moving him forcefully to the front door."He’s the one that started it! He started it! Not me!" the creep yelled, like some second grader.Roscoe lie there on the floor for a minute feeling like an idiot. Gina came up to him and held out her hand to help him up."Feeling a little buzzed?" she asked him.Roscoe’s head started spinning right after she said that. The last thing he wanted to do was puke all over. He tried to trick his brain into thinking that he was not drunk at all and that the entire place was not spinning.Roscoe and Gina sat talking and drinking more."Come with me." Gina said, grabbing his hand and walking him off into some back room behind closed doors.It was this secret little room with a king sized bed and mirrors all over the walls and ceiling."You need a little pick me up?" she asked him."Uh, sure man." Roscoe said.She pulled out a nice sized bag of meth from one of her long blue zip up hooker boots. They snorted some hefty lines off a marble table."Tell me about you?" Gina asked.Roscoe felt that instant chemical drain down his throat & was now wide-awake and his head spins were gone."Not much to tell. I’m a traveling man.""Are you a trucker?""Sort of, I mean that’s what I do for money but I’m not all gung ho about it like most of these truckers.""Where are you from?" she asked, while gently guiding him over to the bed."No where and everywhere," he said smiling."Do you want to know anything about me before we fuk?" she asked him."I already know plenty about you." He answered."How so?" she asked."I’ll tell you later," he said, grabbing her body and rolling her onto the bed."What is your real name?" he asked her."GINA." She replied in some sort of voice that was not hers.Roscoe just decided to ignore it. Thinking his mind was just playing tricks on him.Before Roscoe even had a chance to get his pants down, she was already ripping them off of him. Her eyes focused on his throbbing veiny hard on. Her lips wrapped around it. She began sucking like crazy. Like a pro. She got on top of him and slid it in her with no rubber. She began bouncing up and down and moaning really loud. Roscoe let out a few weird grunts."Please don’t look at me while we do it, ok." He told her."But why?" she asked, still bouncing on him."Because when I look into your eyes I see things.""What kind of things?""Look, just don’t look into my eyes, ok?""Fine!" she screamed, turning her head to look up at the mirror ceiling."He’s just a pig, a no good man pig, like all the rest of them!" her voice screamed, only it wasn’t her voice, it sounded like some kind of bizarre evil mans voice.It frightened the shit out of Roscoe."Hey, what did you just say?" he asked her, as she moaned more and more, bouncing like crazy."Nothing at all." She responded in her normal voice."You crazy bitch, come on! Ride me!"He flipped her over onto her back and began pounding away on top of her."Don’t look at me! I told you!"She turned her head to the side."He’s a filthy man pig who needs to join the others!"She screamed in that scary deep man voice again."You really are fuking crazy! I love it!" he yelled."Give it to me, give it to me!" she bellowed in her normal voice.After another ten minutes they both came at the same time, in perfect harmony. Their sweat drenched naked bodies lying next to each other. They lit cigarettes and stared up at themselves in the mirror.Roscoe began getting more paranoid than usual probably because of the meth he did. He started having images of his dick turning green and falling off in a few days. I mean why didn’t I just use a rubber! He began to yell at himself in his head.His mind started thinking about the fact she was a crazy serial killer who seemed to be possessed by some sort of fuked up entity. He wondered if she was going to try and kill him now.She got up and went to the bathroom."Where are you going! What are you doing!" he demanded."Relax you freak, I have to take a shit after all that exercise."Something about her fascinated him. He always liked dangerous crazy women. But this woman had to be one of the craziest. He wanted to walk away from her. Walk out of this dam strip club. Drive away and never come back. But it was like she was some sort of magnet now, sucking his soul into her deeper and deeper.Roscoe quickly got off the bed and began getting dressed in somewhat of a panic. His heart was racing way to fast and his mind was getting more and more paranoid. He thought he was having some sort of panic attack. He kept seeing images of his unhealthy heart beating so fast that it exploded. "Calm down dude, just take some deep breathes." He mumbled to himself.She came out of the bathroom, still nude and went right up to his face and looked in his eyes."I’m looking at your eyes freak boy! I’m looking in them!" she yelled, and let out some psychotic laugh.Roscoe’s slide show started and he saw her cooking up testicles, he saw her running naked through the dark woods and speaking in tongues. He saw her slicing a razor blade into a pumpkin over and over, and the pumpkin had ‘Daddy’ written on it in big letters. He saw her digging shallow graves in her tomato garden, while she dragged out big black hefty bags from some torture shed."I gotta get the fuk out of here. It was nice meeting you. I really have to get going." Roscoe stuttered."You asshole, just fuk and run hey, is that how it is?"She blurted out."No, I had a great time, but really I got to get going.""No problem asshole, and by the way if you have a burning sensation in your dick, or if you start having painful yellow fluid discharge from it, don’t worry. Its just syphilis. Oh, and another thing, welcome to the wonderful world of herpes, hepatitis, and HIV asshole!"Roscoe stood there shaking. A feeling of complete dread came over him. He felt sick to his stomach. His Dick had a sudden sharp pain shoot through it."You fuking bitch! You are dead! I swear you are a dead bitch! I’m gonna chop you up like you did to all those men! You hear me!" he shouted."Man pig Man pig Man pig! Always get what they deserve!"She yelled in that horrible monster man evil voice.Roscoe ran from the strip club. He curled up on his truck bed in a fetal position and began weeping. Streams of puke came gushing from his mouth like some broken fire hydrant. It sprayed all over his truck walls but he didn’t care. His life was over. That Gina had purposely given him all sorts of diseases. Another sharp pain shot through the center of his dick. His balls began burning. He couldn’t stop scratching them. She probably gave you crabs to. A voice in his head said.He knew what he had to do. He had to kill her. He had no other choice. He would be saving countless lives by doing this. He would be honored as a hero once the cops went to her place and found all the bodies. She had to go.Roscoe pulled out a long razor sharp hunting knife from under his bed and began plotting his plan out. I can’t do this. A voice inside his head said. You have to do this you pussy! And you will do it! Another voice in his head told him.He pushed play on his mini tape recorder and listened to all the different people from inside his head having discussions about how he had stopped taking all his medications."You all shut up!" he yelled at the tape recorder, smashing it with his foot.Roscoe dressed himself in black. He walked over to Gina’s car and the back door was unlocked. He climbed in and curled up on the floor, waiting.The voices in his head all started talking out loud. All these different sounding people, from a little girl, to an old wise man, to a scared infant crying."Shut up! Shut up! All of you!" he screamed.Some how he fell asleep. He was awakened by the sound of Gina opening her door and the rattle of keys.He grabbed the back of her hair and yanked back hard on her head. Roscoe sliced her throat clear in half. Almost decapitating her the blade went in so deep. Her mouth kept making these gargling drowning sounds. Blood spit up from her mouth spraying her windshield. Her body went into a few spasms and it was over.He went back to his truck and passed out with blood still all over his hands and arms. He had horrible nightmares about Gina. She was torturing him in her shed with different torture devices while she screamed ‘Man Scum!’ at him.Roscoe awoke to a loud violent pounding on his truck window."This is the police! Stick your hands out the truck window now! Or we are throwing in tear gas canisters! Comply with our demands now! Stick your hands out the window where we can see them!"Oh fuk. He said."OK! OK I’m going to stick my hands out now!"Roscoe took down his window curtains. There were about 15 police cars and cops all over with guns drawn. Swat team sharp shooters on top of the truck stop roof with rifles pointed at him.Roscoe slowly rolled down his window and stuck his dried blood ridden hands out. About ten cops swarmed the window and bashed the door open. They pulled him out of the truck and threw him on the ground. Their knees digging into his back. They clamped the cuffs on so tight that they broke one of his wrists."Sick freak!" one of the cops yelled at him, as they stood him up.Another one spit in his face."I’m a hero you assholes! Just you wait and see! I stopped her! You stupid pigs don’t know shit! Just you all wait and see!"Roscoe screamed. They shoved him in the back of a police car and drove him off. Roscoe stared out the window of the car at a huge crowd that had gathered outside the truck stop.Truckers yelled at him."Murderer! Sick Asshole! Give him the death penalty!"Roscoe couldn’t wait till he got to talk to a lawyer. The dumb pig detectives hounded him for hours, day turned to night, to day again. They refused to let him sleep until he told them some information on why he did it."All I’m going to say is what I told you 15 hours ago. I was doing the world a favor by getting rid of her. It will all come out soon enough when you search her house and land. Now I’m not saying anything else till I speak with my lawyer!"This big fat cop in a sweaty dress shirt and crumpled tie got right in Roscoe’s face. He looked into his eyes and Roscoe saw this man jerking off to beastiality porn. Roscoe saw this man raping the family dog while dressed in a pink tutu. He saw this man sneaking into zoos at night and molesting the baby elephants."I just want to tell you one thing you low life punk! You are a worthless piece of shit and the state is going to fry your ass!"The cop spit a huge green lung cookie into Roscoe’s eyes.Just as the cop was about to leave the room Roscoe began laughing like a mad man."I like your pink tutu you dog raping fuk!"The cop just looked at him like he was insane."What the fuk you say!" the cop yelled."You heard me you lassie humping sicko!""Piece of shit! That’s all you are boy! A piece of shit!"The cop screamed, slamming the door behind him.Roscoe finally got to speak to his lawyer. His lawyer was a tall Jewish man with pointy glasses and some sort of nervous twitch. Roscoe didn’t care for the man right off the bat. But Roscoe told him everything. About how Gina was a mass serial killer and how she was possessed. He begged the lawyer to please send some cops to her place to find the bodies. The lawyer adjusted his glasses and looked somewhat frightened of Roscoe. Roscoe looked into his eyes. He saw this man dancing at home in a ballerina outfit. He saw him plucking hairs from his legs for hours at a time while whistling to the moon. He saw this man sticking a douche inside his vagina hole, which was right next to his dick."Please sir! Just please send some cops out to where she lived and you will see!"The lawyer’s nose twitched and his eyes sort of spastically flickered. He adjusted his glasses."Roscoe. The police have already been out there days ago. There are no bodies. There are no torture sheds. There are no skin suits or anything. No hefty bags. You do realize that this is a tight nit community and that we look out for our own? Now lets talk about a possible insanity defense. I understand you are suppose to be on medication and you stopped taking it, correct?""What the fuk you mean there’s no bodies! And I don’t need that dam medication anymore! She was a mass serial killer! I’m telling you! Why wont you people believe me!"Roscoe grabbed the lawyer by his throat. Two guards quickly tackled Roscoe and began beating him."I am not insane! You people are playing games with my head! I am not insane!"The guards dragged him off back to his cell where he would become catatonic in the weeks to come. He stopped eating and speaking. Rubbed his own feces all over his body and face. He just stared at his cell wall seeing the entire towns eyeballs glaring back at him.
　
by nrm
William Dongleberry and snookims
mr dongleberry awoke from his slumber at 6 o-clock in the morning. It sounded like someone was throwing huge boulders into an empty dumpster just outside his window.He peeked out his window and saw these Mexican workers doing something in the dumpster. Banging away with hammers while they slammed bricks around inside the dumpster.William hated being woken up. He didn’t even like to be awake at all. He preferred to just try and sleep his life away. He put on his pink bathrobe and his daffy duck slippers and headed down stairs to confront the men.He marched right up to them."Excuse me! Seniors! What on gods earth are you doing!"The Mexicans looked at each other puzzled and just ignored him. They went back to hammering things into the dumpster and slamming bricks around."Hey! Seniors! What in the Fuk are you fools doing! People are trying to sleep around here! Hello? do you speak English?"One of the fatter Mexicans threw his hammer down."WE here doing a job! Ok! Now go away!""How dare you!" Mr. Dongleberry barked.He marched back up to his apartment and dialed 911."What is your emergency?" this lady asked in some nasal ridden voice."There are illegal immigrants outside my apartment making a ruckus and I was trying to sleep!""Sir, that is not an emergency, why did you call 911 sir?""I just told you! Send some police right away! It is so an emergency, and don’t get snippy with me young lady!""Sir, I’m going to hang up now, and please don’t call 911 unless you have an emergency." She hung up.William was infuriated now!"I will call the police myself!" he screamed.His little pampered poodle lie on the couch wishing he could talk so he could tell him what a fuking idiot he was."Can you believe the nerve of some people Mr. Snookims?"His dog stared back at him, thinking how much he hated that stupid name William called him by.He called the police and they said they would send a patrol car by to check it out.William waited. He waited some more. After about an hour the Mexicans all loaded up into the back of a pick up truck and drove off. Just as they did the patrol car pulled up and this slick looking body builder cop stepped out of his car and walked up to Williams apartment.William had his door open and ready."Well it’s about time officer! You just missed them. They been making noise for the last 2 hours!"The cop got real close up to Mr. Dongleberrys face, and flipped his shades up."Sir? Who and what are you talking about?"Mr. Snookims lie on the couch growling at the officer."Shush Snookims!""OK, let me spell this out for you. Obviously police are not the brightest people in the world with your silly two-year college degrees. There were a bunch of illegal Mexicans in that dumpster all morning making dreadfully loud noises non stop and I want them arrested!"The officer stepped into Williams’s apartment. The shitty little poodle ran off the couch and began biting the cop’s leg.The cop kicked it across the room and it went flying into a wall and whimpered off under the couch."How dare you kick my dog sir!"The cop grabbed William by his neck and lifted him off the ground choking him."You listen to me you fairy creeped out fruitcake. It’s people like you that make my job almost unbearable. Now if you ever call the police again for such nonsense I will personally come back over here and shove that poodle down your throat!" the cop yelled, dropping William to the floor.William gasped for breath clutching his throat, crawling on the floor over towards Mr. Snookims.William curled up with his dog on the floor and began weeping."You got anything to eat in that fridge? I’m hungry" the cop said, walking over to the fridge.William quickly reached way under the couch for his gun.The dumb cop opened the fridge and saw two human heads staring back at him surrounded in pineapples."What the fuk?" the cop said, turning to look at William and his dog.Mr. Dongleberry quickly shot the officer right between the eyes. The cops muscle bound body dropped to the apartment floor.The dog ran over to the cop and started licking up the blood."Why don’t people ever learn Mr. Snookims?""Woof Woof!" the dog responded with blood all over his white poodle chin."Oh my, look at this mess with have to clean up now Mr. Snookims."William began to undress the dead officer."Oh my gawd Mr. Snookims, no wonder this man was so angry. He is hung like mouse. I have seen bigger dicks on newborn babies. My goodness." He put the cop uniform on and stared at himself in the bathroom mirror."My, I must say I love a man in uniform," he snickered.He got the cops keys and went and started up the patrol car. William drove down the street in search of the Mexicans who had woken him up.After a couple blocks he saw them at some other apartment complex in the dumpster making noise.He pulled up in the squad car, loaded the dead officers shot gun up. Plus he had the officer’s handgun.He walked up to the Mexicans and without a word began shooting them one by one. Once they were all dead, he walked down the street, got on the bus and went home.He dragged the dead officer’s body into his bathtub and began cutting it up with a huge saw while the dog watched.Bugs bunny was blasting from his small TV.William dipped the officer’s heart in some flour and deep-fried it in some Crisco. He cut a foot off for Snookims and let him gnaw on that all night.William repeatedly watched cartoons all night long while he hummed Barry Manilow tunes to his poodle.Mr. Dongleberry slept great that night. He even slept in most of the next day all curled up with his doggie.Every news channel was talking about the missing officer and the slaughtered Mexicans. A massive investigation was going on in search of the killer. William never watched the news. Only cartoons.
　
　
by nrm
Loony bin (part 1)
Telekinesis Armageddon cosmic over flow lights a small fuse in this universe I have created in my head where I can have late night conversations with childhood friends when I’m in that sleep yet awake state- until I realize there is someone there actually conversing with me & when that reality hits I will ask them "Are you still there?" but they wont be, you see, cause as soon as one’s mind clicks into the fact of what is going on that is when the conversation is lost- 2012 the kid knew who drank a ton of belladonna- he knew the score, & so did that guy Max who never showered until they forced him to- with a beard down to his balls- he never spoke a word even tho everyday I’d say "Hey Max! What’s happening, great day today aint it?"I stared at a cup of juice for 5 hours once & the staff was getting concerned, I could not & would not speak to anyone while I went into this trance like state where nothing mattered but me staring at that cup of juice, & inside my mind I saw with my eyes that juice finally begin to boil & that’s when I came out of the trance.hang around a bunch of lunatics long enough you will start acting like one- it’s like a feral child being raised by a pack of dogs that walks on all fours and barks and acts like a dog- any environment one is in will rub that energy off in one way or another until the conscious mind excepts that as normality- for instance I now know I do have friends to speak to as night falls-they may not be people you or somebody else can hear but I hear them perfectly clear now-5 points to the darkened sun when Yosemite explodes after the earth’s massive quakes melt & burn anything with lungs & you can scrub your soul all you want with bleach but that smell you now see, taste, and hear will stay around one’s aura like a volcanic fire ball of circling worms that out stretch from the inner hole of a brain damaged poetic urine fountain- the seven seals of revelation come like a tidal wave of bursting unpredictable showers of fire- your medications to make me a zombie are no longer needed because when I stare into the sun & make my mind as blank as a lobotomy patient- I can feel every sound or every star that explodes in the never ending black holes of an emotion galaxy inside another universe with in the sanctity of simple breathing- I can feel invisible sand morsels surrounding my feet in a hot summer day while distant ocean waves slowly come to this new shore of enlightenment- we can feel the cat itching it’s fleas while it cleans it’s over fed belly now that the tree stumps have been cut down to mind sized elements of a future that no longer matters.My friend Antonio in the mental ward who was a confused pedophile who could barely speak English could turn into a monkey as soon as I said "ewe, ewe, ahh ahh…"& every time- he would have me rolling around on the ground in hysterical laughter- & that substitute doctor who thought she knew it all trying to cut my Prozac in half while not believing my shaking hands anymore after the fourth day of non stop Librium doses that put me in such a state where all I wanted to do was make new colored drawings like some whacked out third grader non stop- Antonio & others would draw with me and Antonio wrote down a movie he was going to direct with all these alien crafts up in the air. He told me it would be called"Bank Stony tee and the funky family tree movio the grandma Mexican American unknown kavino.""That’s a wonderful title for a movie." I’d respond.Certain staff members looked at us as if we were crazy, others seemed so use to any sort of behavior that came about they could never be surprised with whatever was going on- like the time this guy named Sam –an asian man- came into the TV room –pulled his shorts down & began shitting all over the tile floor while yelling some sort of gibberish in Japanese at the top of his lungs- others began to vomit from the smell but for some reason it smelled like fresh apricots to me- maybe I was starting to lose it for real- or maybe I already had-Sam was on constant suicide watch. Always a big black guard sitting outside his room with the door cracked staring at Sam laying in bed- it made me and the suicidal belladonna drinker roommate of mine wonder what the fuk Sam had done- so one time at lunch-if you can call their lunch food ( it was more like some mystery small portion of what looked and smelled like vomit every day, and a piece of bread) I lost 15 pounds in that place.Well. Suicidal belladonna drinker and me who were both obsessed with 2012- tried to spark up a conversation with Sam."So Sam? What’s your deal? Why are you in here?"He quietly looked up from his food and said…."It’s just a big misunderstanding, that’s all it is."We left it at that. But my mind began to wander, seeing him shoving sewing needles into his ear holes or something while he played Russian roulette with some ancient Japanese gun that was possessed by his grandpa who had killed himself after the war.My mind always thought things like this- maybe it was good I was in this funny farm- if they only had a sensible doctor that knew what she was doing- not this cunt who kept cutting all my medications that made me feel non suicidal- every time I had to look at her face and eyes or even come close to her I felt like splattering my brains all over the fuking walls & hopefully chunks of my brain matter would go flying into her stunned open mouth as I did it.Something about her was just wrong- she gave off that aura that she was so above everyone- like the time I tried to warn her about 2012 and she starts laughing at me saying she worries about what’s going on today, not what will happen in the future. But if we knew what was going to happen in the future it would affect us as to how we act today! I tried to tell her. She was so stupid and condescending-I told her one-day. "Don’t tell me what meds I need and don’t need, I practically have my PhD in medications- I know what makes me happy and what makes me angry-Everything you see around you is an illusion of an atmosphere that other people who have brainwashed you & the rest of society have inflated into this gigantic floating balloon of bullshit that you and most are all stuck in! & one day, with just one pinprick that fuking balloon is gonna pop! Understand! POP! And only than will you & the other robots understand any sort of meaning or truth or love! Understand!"She let out this snide smirky chuckle and whispered something to her assistant who seemed to be writing down everything I said.She made me so angry that I decided to let out this massive fart so that the entire session or whatever it was that we were having would end.So I did."BLLLLLffffffLUUUUUUUffffllRRRRRRRRRPPPPPP!"my butt cheeks ripped one out like a trumpet of belching rabbits being slaughtered all in synchronicity."That’s it MR. Martini! This session is over! Now get out of my office!"Her assistant covered her nose with her shirt and I started hysterically laughing at the looks on both their dumb faces.I walked towards the door & let out one tinier squealer-sounding fart just for good measure.I walked back out into the main room with the other loonies and Antonio came up to me and started acting like a monkey, and I was laughing so hard by that point that I just let out this huge scream of joy or insanity! I’m not sure what it was but I started tipping over chairs and running around in circles like a mad man as the staff of low IQ retards all chased me around trying to get me to stop.I had learned from some whacko they brought in the night before who went on a non-stop cursing fit of such vulgar insanity for hours at 3 a.m., that the crazier you acted the better drugs they would give you. Cause the next day that guy was stumbling around like a slobbering slow motion zombie. his eyes like half shut clueless brain dead glowing numbness.I wanted a big shot of whatever they had given him, and this would be the best way to go about getting it I assumed.I continued to run around in circles, tipping chairs over, and began screeching like a chicken or a rooster.."BEEEEEE GAAAWWWWK! BEEEEEEE GEEEEEEK !" I bellowed, while Antonio ran around doing his monkey impersonation right behind me. This one schizophrenic lady that was always walking around cursing and clapping her hands and singing religious hymns covered her ears and began letting out these horrid screams of pain.When they finally caught me, about five of the Mongoloids grabbed me and wrestled me to the ground and put me back in the straight jacket I seemed to have arrived in my first day there. They took me in this weird little room that was painted purple with doves flying around the walls with no windows. They all held me down and one of the goons brought out this huge needle filled with something. The mere sight of a needle filled with anything always brought a rush of excitement to my drug riddled junkie brain.Last thing I remember was that thing going into one of my few remaining veins & I woke up about 10 hours later feeling like everything was in slow motion and that all my limbs had turned into slippery spaghetti noodles."Feeling a little calmer today Mr. Martini?" this big black guy said opening the door. Only his voice was all slow and warped like some sort of fuked up drunken demon on Thorazine.My lips tried to answer but they were just big globs of jellyfish that wouldn’t form any sort of sentence. It felt like gallons of slobber was drooling down my chin. I had gotten just what I wanted, the less I felt, the more zombie-fried I became all the better was my reasoning. My manic mind & mood swings had to be shut down for long periods of time so that I could just stop thinking so much about so many things. I just wanted that feeling of nothing. Of such zonked out numbness that I wouldn’t even realize I was a human being anymore.

what is it about society i don't get?why do i feel like a deformed monster every time i go outinto the sunshine, into the busy world of busy people,why am i so paranoid even when im not on drugs?does everyone really look at me as a weirdo?& if so should i even care?i don't wana be disturbed anymorei don't want to shoot methor smoke crack or eat pillsi don't wana drink to feel alivedon't want a black tar filled needle for comforti don't even wana write anymoreI'd like to just disappear into some ghost world of blissbut it's gone too far, i think i over did it allsomething is wrong with my brain& all i think about is different suicide methodsseen slobbering schizophrenicsin Austin mental hospitals splurging outchaotic words of non connecting thoughtswhile staring at clocks for 3 hours at a timescreaming, twitching,i don't wana draw or paint picturesthat scare mesometimes i think i'm not in control of my own body or thoughtshave started speaking aloud to myselfin different voices all the timei try and act like im doing it on purpose, but i'm notmost people i meet don't like me, maybe cause i don't really like myself,most of the time,it all comes down to one's belief in your own soul& where and what it will do when one finally physically diesnearing the end of this life spani have forgotten how to cryforgotten how to smilecant seem to enjoy the sunor the smell of fresh cut grass anymorecan one be dead while still breathing?the doctors med's don't help, their words seem useless,i'm just a bundle of painted joy, aint i?maybe the worst part about being a poetor a writeror a painteror a musicianis dealing with the silent lonelinessknowing if your luckymaybe two people will readthe dripping of your souli stare up at a ceiling that spins& have no idea which way to go& eventually everything you writesounds cheesysounds like some weeping third graderwho lost his first lovebin up for days drawing thinking it meant somethingnothing means anythingnot these silly fuking wordsnot those dumb songsnot that girls smiling blue eyesat the cash registerI'm not sure what it is to be insanebut i know enoughthat i am starting to feel nothing.no emotions mani numb myself with shots of dopeany dope i can findnot sure whyi didn't have that bad of an upbringingi'm making no excuses.& a poet should be full of emotions? i think?a poets eyes should shine as the sun rises full of new words & ideas?my face looks like one of my dripping dead eyed paintings& my new best suicidal friend in mental hospitalnamed Lucaswho drank enough belladonna to kill many large horsesmade me even sadderhe looked like a movie starbut for some reasonhe kept telling mehe'd say."Norman, i want to die, and i will be dead soon.i just want to die, and can't explain it."he bought us pizza one night& dr. peppers.it was a real treat from their horrible turd foodi know longer tried to get into his headhe had his mind set on deathno matter how young or good looking he was.another one of my roommates that never spoke a wordin the Austin mental hospitalwas suddenly at the end of my bed at 3;30 in the morningstanding over me shaking the bed"Patrick? what are you doing?"i asked, scared shitless."You ok Norman? are you going to be ok Norman?are you ok Norman? you sure your ok Norman?"he asked in this crazy whisper"Dude, go back to bed, I'm fine, thanks.""You sure your ok Norman? you sure now?" he asked again.Those were the only wordsi ever heard him speak in over a week of being there.dude was a freak. but we all were.we were all there for some reason or another.one guy just stared at the clock for 3 hours at a timenever changing his facial expression.this other lady who had obama hair, but more whiteand big ears would walk around yellingat all these invisible peoplecursing them out all day longwhen she wasn't playing her organbut sometimes she would start clapping her hands walking around in circlesand humming these religious hymnsso one time i followed behind herand started clapping and singingsomething about Jesus saves& before i knew itwe had a circle of about8 craziesall clapping and walking in a circleas they followed my lyrics.i noticed Lucas sitting indian style in a cornercryingas we all did this.it was a truly magical moment i thought.but it also creeped me out.i couldn't seem to feel comfortable with anything anymore.there was this one retarded schizophrenic slobbering mutantwith hands all bent upwards...that had raped a 5 year old girlhe had these huge lips and was always stroking his cockweird black dude from marshe was so far gone that i don't even gethow he had any sexual desiresthis place madeone flew over the koo koo's nestlook likea Christian picnicon a beautiful summer daywith nurse ratchida ravishing angel queen from heaven abovethere was this one dudethey brought in at 3 in the morningin a straight jackethe woke the entire unit upwith his foul mouth cursingi had never heard such a foul mouth evil freak"Cock sucking mother fuking! government anal lickingfuking asshole anal probing mother fukers!.you cock sucking clit licking turtle raping Mickey mouse butt fucking demonsfrom the pits of semen filled aids jizz bastard suns oh bitches!"he would screami was pretty sure he was possessed by some sort of evil demon.he would never stop this spouting of horrid foul languageno matter how many times they shot him up.and his middle fingers always up, saying fuk you!where did i start with this rant?oh yeah, society.I'd rather be around this element of societythenall the so called normal people for some reasonnot sure whyjust each day was like some new award winning bizarrecrazed independent movie in a dream thatwould have to be rated triple x of horror bacon paintingsso much to tell.that i think it would be bettersuited as a long short storyone day the cunt substitute doctor cut off all my librium!so i made some phone calls to get her in troubleand this nice jewish doctor came inand gave me all sorts of benzosbut i awoke the next day to findthat lady doctor had canceled them alli confronted herwithPatrick behind mePatrick had this thing about following me around nowand imitating my movements..."How dare you cancel my benzos!"i screamed at her"I'm not gonna be your Michael Jackson doctor!"she yelled back at me."You bitch!"i yelled."you bitch"Patrick quietly said,following me off outside.i began to walk non stop laps.must have done 70 of themand every time I passed a counselori said."Suicide by heart attack fuker!"till they had all these security guards grab me.what is it about society i just dont get?
　
　
what is it about society i don't get?why do i feel like a deformed monster every time i go outinto the sunshine, into the busy world of busy people,why am i so paranoid even when im not on drugs?does everyone really look at me as a weirdo?& if so should i even care?i don't wana be disturbed anymore i don't want to shoot meth or smoke crack or eat pills i don't wana drink to feel alive don't want a black tar filled needle for comfort i don't even wana write anymore I'd like to just disappear into some ghost world of bliss but it's gone too far, i think i over did it all something is wrong with my brain & all i think about is different suicide methods seen slobbering schizophrenicsin Austin mental hospitals splurging out chaotic words of non connecting thoughts while staring at clocks for 3 hours at a time screaming, twitching,i don't wana draw or paint pictures that scare me sometimes i think i'm not in control of my own body or thought shave started speaking aloud to myself in different voices all the timei try and act like im doing it on purpose, but i'm not most people i meet don't like me, maybe cause i don't really like myself,most of the time,it all comes down to one's belief in your own soul& where and what it will do when one finally physically dies nearing the end of this life span i have forgotten how to cry forgotten how to smile cant seem to enjoy the sunor the smell of fresh cut grass anymore can one be dead while still breathing?the doctors med's don't help, their words seem useless,i'm just a bundle of painted joy, aint i?maybe the worst part about being a poet or a writer or a painter or a musician is dealing with the silent loneliness knowing if your lucky maybe two people will read the dripping of your soul i stare up at a ceiling that spins & have no idea which way to go & eventually everything you write sounds cheesy sounds like some weeping third grader who lost his first love bin up for days drawing thinking it meant something nothing means anything not these silly fuking words not those dumb songs not that girls smiling blue eyes at the cash register I'm not sure what it is to be insane but i know enough that i am starting to feel nothing.no emotions man i numb myself with shots of dope any dope i can find not sure why i didn't have that bad of an upbringing i'm making no excuses.& a poet should be full of emotions? i think?a poets eyes should shine as the sun rises full of new words & ideas?my face looks like one of my dripping dead eyed paintings& my new best suicidal friend in mental hospital named Lucas who ate enough belladonna to kill many large horses made me even sadder he looked like a movie star but for some reason he kept telling mehe'd say."Norman, i want to die, and i will be dead soon.i just want to die, and can't explain it."he bought us pizza one night& dr. peppers.it was a real treat from their horrible turd food i know longer tried to get into his head he had his mind set on death no matter how young or good looking he was.another one of my roommates that never spoke a word in the Austin mental hospital was suddenly at the end of my bed at 3;30 in the morning standing over me shaking the bed"Patrick? what are you doing?"i asked, scared shitless."You ok Norman? are you going to be ok Norman?are you ok Norman? you sure your ok Norman?"he asked in this crazy whisper"Dude, go back to bed, I'm fine, thanks.""You sure your ok Norman? you sure now?" he asked again.Those were the only wordsi ever heard him speak in over a week of being there.dude was a freak. but we all were.we were all there for some reason or another.one guy just stared at the clock for 3 hours at a time never changing his facial expression.this other lady who had obama hair, but more white and big ears would walk around yelling at all these invisible people cursing them out all day long when she wasn't playing her organbut sometimes she would start clapping her hands walking around in circles and humming these religious hymns so one time i followed behind her and started clapping and singing something about Jesus saves & before i knew it we had a circle of about 8 crazies all clapping and walking in a circleas they followed my lyrics.i noticed Lucas sitting indian style in a corner crying as we all did this.it was a truly magical moment i thought.but it also creeped me out.i couldn't seem to feel comfortable with anything anymore.there was this one retarded schizophrenic slobbering mutant with hands all bent upwards...that had raped a 5 year old girl he had these huge lips and was always stroking his cock , weird black dude from some alien planet that didnt want him - was so far gone that i don't even get how he had any sexual desires this place made one flew over the koo koo's nest look like a Christian picnic on a beautiful summer day with nurse ratchid a ravishing angel queen from heaven above there was this one dude they brought in at 3 in the morningin a straight jackethe woke the entire unit upwith his foul mouth cursing i had never heard such a foul mouth evil freak"Cock sucking mother fuking! government anal lickingfuking asshole anal probing mother fukers!.you cock sucking clit licking turtle raping Mickey mouse butt fucking demons from the pits of semen filled aids jizz bastard suns oh bitches!"he would scream i was pretty sure he was possessed by some sort of evil demon.he would never stop this spouting of horrid foul language no matter how many times they shot him up.and his middle fingers always up, saying fuk you!where did i start with this rant?oh yeah, society.I'd rather be around this element of society than all the so called normal people for some reason not sure why just each day was like some new award winning bizarre crazed independent movie in a dream that would have to be rated triple x of horror bacon paintings so much to tell.that i think it would be better suited as a long short story one day the cunt substitute doctor cut off all my librium!so i made some phone calls to get her in trouble and this nice jewish doctor came inand gave me all sorts of benzos but i awoke the next day to find that lady doctor had canceled them alli confronted her withPatrick behind me Patrick had this thing about following me around now and imitating my movements..."How dare you cancel my benzos!"i screamed at her"I'm not gonna be your Michael Jackson doctor!"she yelled back at me."You bitch!"i yelled."you bitch"Patrick quietly said,following me off outside.i began to walk non stop laps.must have done 70 of them and every time I passed a counselor i said."Suicide by heart attack fuker!"till they had all these security guards grab me.what is it about society i just dont get?
　
　
　
　
　 　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　

i'm in a lunatic game show where you move up ladders made of marshmallow & the only way to win is to gobble invisible purple bugs from the tips of my tingly fingers while waves of serotonin are released around in side my head like buckets of funny farm gravy & it's some sort of circus like atmosphere only everyone is on pogo sticks within a universe of colorful laughter trying to kill each other while shooting beams of dream goop out their bionic eyeballs that ricochet into secret worlds that are built from lost marbles along freeways that don't exist-
-itchy red eyed portholes that lead to strawberry heart valves atop a mushroom cloud of lyposuctioned head holes that spin around into wire tapped suitcases full of my own horse shit strapped to enough dynamite to blow this over sized noggin of mine to the moon & back while marshin firecrackers sprout from my ear holes & my brain is fluttering around in a circle of non stop thoughts that don't seem to connect -

Maximum Glorification
By nrm
Max looked down at his huge gut in disgust. He didn’t want that gut. It seemed to just keep getting bigger and bigger. He couldn’t stop eating. He use to be thin and in shape but ever since he started taking his new meds it felt like he was always hungry no matter how much he ate.He would rather stare at his weight bench and treadmill than actually use them. Max didn’t even have a job and he was 38 years old. He had no friends in the town he lived in. He lived with his grandmother. Max had a cat named Felix who was his best friend. Max wasn’t even sure half the time if the anti depressants were making him better or worse. When he got his bi weekly unemployment check he’d just waste it on hard booze and drugs. His grandmother still treated him like he was 12. Always asking where he went if he happened to go out for the night. Always accusing him of being on drugs.Max had many pipe dreams and plans that he never followed through with his entire life. It wasn’t long before he hardly left his grandmothers house at all. He started getting more and more paranoid about the outside world.He stopped taking showers. He’d just sit in his room staring at the useless TV. Max use to write short stories and paint with acrylics. It was his passion. Art and literature. But for some reason the last few years or so his mind had sort of run out of creative fuel for some reason.The only time he felt half way inspired to write anything was when he was drunk or on some good uppers or opiates. The meds he was on had killed his sexual drive, which was fine with him. He didn’t have enough self-esteem left to try and meet a woman. He really didn’t have much to offer a female. He had no money and no plan for his future. His dick didn’t really work anymore either.Sometimes he even thought his cat Felix didn’t really care for him. Max tried meditation, bouts of sobriety, religion; anything that he thought might help him feel better about things. Nothing seemed to work. He felt like there was something missing from his life. But he just didn’t know what.His Grandma came knocking on his door.“Max? What are you doing in there all day long?” she asked, trying to open his locked door.“Trying to figure out why I exist Grandma.”“Max, I want you to take Bubbles on a walk today.”Bubbles was his grandmothers annoying dog.Max didn’t respond. He despised taking that dog on walks. There were always other people out walking around all happy in the sunlight. Sometimes they would try and talk to Max, and Max was not a sociable person at all these days.“Max! Max! Did you hear me?”“Yes grandma, can I wait till tonight when it’s not so hot out?”“Ok Max, but don’t forget. Bubbles will be waiting.”Max nodded his head in despair and curled back up into his mattress.“Fuking bubbles troubles doubles snuggles, gobbles, fuggles,” he muttered, in some angry voice. A massive wave of depression shot through his entire being and he shivered. His mind kept trying to come up with some kind of plan. Some sort of job he could handle without wanting to blow his brains out after every shift. Something that would get him motivated again. Something to give him some sort of joy in his life.He contemplated suicide all the time but realized he would really hurt his family members by doing such an act. Plus he always thought, what if it’s even worse when you die?Where does ones soul go? What if all that heaven and hell stuff is the real deal? Max was raised catholic and he always wondered about death and religion.Max looked down at his gut again and poked it with a finger. He wished he had some money to get drunk or buy some cigarettes.Felix hardly even hung out with him anymore. Felix would just chill in another room and ignore Max most of the time.Max would try and pet him sometimes and Felix would just look annoyed and swat at him.Max’s only real comfort was stuffing his chubby face with food all day long. But that was turning him into a blob of human fat. He waited every month for those dam food stamps to come through. He’d go on a massive drunken spending spree at the grocery store each month when he first got them.“Are you eating again?” his grandma would ask every time he opened the fridge.“Yes Grandma, am I not aloud to eat now?”“Well I’m just saying, that’s all you do is eat, I don’t understand it is all.”“I don’t either Grandma,” he’d respond, shoving a burrito down his throat.One night Max was taking Bubbles on a walk when he saw some lady coming towards him walking a dog as well. She was slightly over weight like Max, and her dog was the same breed as Bubbles. As they got closer to each other, their dogs struggled to sniff each other’s butts.“Hi.” Max said to the lady.“Well hello, it looks like our dogs are quite curious about one another.” She said.Max sort of looked down at the ground trying to remember when his last shower was? Two weeks ago? Three? He knew he probably smelled real bad.“My name is Gloria.”“Oh, my name is Max,” he said, slowly looking up from the ground into her face. Max was never real good with eye contact.They both stood there in the dark night just sort of staring at each other while the dogs sniffed each other.“So you live in the neighborhood?” she asked.“Yeah, I live with my Grandma right down the street,” he told her.“No way!” she blurted out.“Why you say that?”“Cause I live with my Grandma too!”Max let out some awkward chuckle that turned into a hacking smoker’s cough.“How old are you?” Max asked.“38, what about you?”“Me too.” He said.“Weird hey? It must be a full moon or something, next you’re going to tell me you’re unemployed and take meds for depression?” she laughed.“How did you know that about me?” Max asked.“Oh my god! Cause I’m in the same boat too! Ha. How crazy is that?”There was a moment of weird silence.“Well I guess I better get going Max,” she said.“ Uhhh…. Please… Don’t go yet, I mean, do you want to exchange phone numbers and maybe hang out sometime?” he asked her, all nervous like, looking down at the ground.It was like a miracle when he heard her friendly inviting voice respond.“Sure Max, you got a pen and paper?”Max fumbled around in his smelly pockets. He had no pen or paper.“Uhhh. Uhhh. No I don’t.. I guess not.”“Well you got a good memory?”“Not really these days, I mean I use to but, but…”“My number is real easy to remember, it’s 555- 3399. Can you handle remembering that till you get home and write it down?” she laughed, winking at him.“I sure can, sure I can. Ok Gloria, nice meeting you, I will call you tomorrow if you like?”“Sure thing Max. That sounds great. Maybe we could take the dogs to a park and walk them or something?”“Yeah, we could do that.”“Bye Max.”“Bye Gloria.”He walked away for about twenty feet. His mind kept telling him to turn around to see if she would turn around as well and look at him.Just as he turned his fat head around, Gloria did the same.She waved to him. He waved back. A spark of hope and an inch of happiness shot through his soul and brain. He hadn’t felt any sort of hope in years.He walked back into his Grandmothers ancient house. It smelled like old people and dog piss. Max took Bubbles leash off and sat down on the couch next to his Grandma with a huge goofy grin on his face staring at the TV. She was watching some ridiculous so-called reality love show called ‘the bachelor.’A commercial came on and his Grandmother muted the volume, looking over at Max’s stupid grinning face.“What are you all giddy and smiling about you dam weirdo?” she asked him, taking another slug off her massive glass of wine.“I met a girl tonight while on a walk with Bubbles, and we are going to go out on a date.”“How old was she? Twelve? Was she retarded and blind or something? Are you sure you didn’t just imagine that she was there? Why would any woman want to go out on a date with you?” his grandma spitted out, grinding her dentures around in her mouth. She let out this evil drunken laugh, while Bubbles lie next to her; feverishly licking his ugly pink crusted brown asshole.The old bag of saggy wrinkled skin and gray hair could be a real bitch after she got enough glasses of wine in her.“You know Grandma! Sometimes I wonder how Granddad put up with your negative bullshit for all those years before he finally died.”“Your Granddad loved me to death for your information! He never had much to say about you! I Can tell you that much! God rest his soul. I was his life. He was a winner in life. Always had a good job and took care of his family. Unlike you. That’s why he left me all his money and left you nothing. He knew what a no good drug taking loser you always were.”“You know GRANDMA! Why don’t you FUK the FUK off! and……and….. another thing….!”“Shush now! My favorite reality show is back on. Settle down Max, shush now!”“That bullshit is not reality! Those are all actors and the entire show is a fake ludicrous script! I mean look at those people! They aren’t real! They don’t live in any sort of reality!”“Max! Go to your room and shut up! Granny is trying to listen to her show!”“Fuk this shit!” Max yelled, stomping off to his room and slamming the door with a rage of anger in him. That old witch really knew how to push his buttons. She always had.He punched another huge hole in his wall.“FUUUUUUUUUK YOUUUUUUUUU!” he screamed.He heard his Grandma mute her stupid show again and she yelled…“Max! take your dam medication! Don’t make me call the cops again to take you away! Remember what happened last time?”He jumped onto his bed, grabbing a pillow, covering his entire face, he screamed into the pillow, while his legs kicked up and down. He felt trapped. He was so angry. Any time he started feeling any sort of joy or hope that old bag of bones had to bring him down again.Max took some deep angry breaths. Felix came and jumped on his bed, which rarely happened. Felix sat on Max’s legs and stared at him purring. Max began to pet Felix. It made him feel better. Max looked into Felix’s green eyes. Cats always had a calming soothing effect on him when he was freaking out.The next night Max called Gloria and they went out for dinner and a movie. They had so much in common that it seemed strange. They liked the same foods, the same books, they had both been truck drivers in their past, they were both jobless with no friends. The second night they hung out in Max’s room and made love for the first time. Max was surprised his dick still seemed to work fine. They started hanging out all the time and Max no longer felt so depressed. He started writing and painting again and they tried to come up with ideas for their future.Max’s grandma could not stand Gloria. She just could not stand to see anyone happy. She wanted everyone to be miserable like herself. Gloria’s grandma could not stand Max. One day Gloria noticed that Max had a massive collection of bank robbery books on his bookshelf she had never noticed before. Just about any book Max could get on bank robbers or robbing banks he bought.“What’s up with that?” Gloria asked him.“It’s just sort of a pipe dream of mine that if I ever fully snap I am going to rob a bank. I have studied up on it so much that I think I’d get away with it.”“Are you being serious about that Max?”“Well, of course I never have done it, I’m just saying you know, maybe if I had never met you and life kept sucking I might have turned to it.”“Why don’t we do it? Sounds like a plan to me.” She said, surprising Max.“Yeah right, your kidding right?”“No Max. I’m up for it if you are. Teach me more about banks and how we could get away with it?”“I can’t believe you are being serious.”“I don’t want to live at grandmas for the rest of my life, do you? And we both hate the idea of getting jobs again.”Max began filling her in on all the information he knew about banks. Their security. Their vaults. What days and time are the best to hit a bank. What managers do what and hold which keys. Exploding dye packs and how to spot them. Where their secret bank alarms are. How to watch out for tracking devices in the money. How to case out a bank. How to take control of the robbery quickly and immobilize any security guards. Disguises. Transportation to the bank. The get away. How to hot-wire a car. How to never leave any finger prints. How long you have to get in and out of the bank. How big of a score it will be. Learning the lay out of the bank. If violence is needed. What sort of weapons to use. What to do if something goes wrong. Escape plans. It went on and on.Max gave Gloria his favorite books to read on the subject and she studied them with a passion. He told her about his favorite bank robbers through out history and how the good ones got away with it.They chose a bank that was close. Max figured the closer the bank the quicker they get away and safe.He went into the bank with Gloria so she could open an account one day. He took notice where all the cameras were, how many people were working, the two entrances and exits, what sort of security they had, and he calculated in his head how much time they would have to get in and out with the cash. He noticed the head manager open the vault in the back, and Max took notice of the time he was opening it. He eyed the tellers to see what kind of people they were; he asked what their hours were. Gloria took notes in her head as well as she scoped the entire bank’s lay out.The two of them became obsessed with the entire idea. The planning. They tried to think of every detail. They both agreed if for some reason something went wrong that they would not go to prison. They both agreed they would rather go down shooting. For months and months they went over it non stop, it almost seemed unreal to them, like they were just playing a game, but they both knew they were going to do it. No matter what the outcome they were ready. They watched the video of the north Hollywood shoot out where the men had full body armor suits on and blasted away at the cop’s non-stop. They discussed what if any armor they would have.Max even got a hold of bank robbers in prison and told them he was doing research for a book. He would go to visit them and try and get some more secrets to the art of bank robbery.The plan was coming along just fine in this year of 2012.Max and Gloria built up an arsenal of weapons and bulletproof suits. They began shooting meth for weeks at a time going completely insane together with non-stop sex parties of freak speed sex. Both their grandmas began to get suspicious and ask too many questions but they had Max’s door bolted shut with 8 different locks for security.The news channel blared in the background as Max and Gloria fucked away at each other in a naked pile of sweat with huge jittery pupils of insanity.“North Korea has sent another nuke to the island of Hawaii and the chemical attack in New York by the Iranians has now killed over 17, 000, 000!” this petrified looking newsman said.He went on…“President Obama is in hiding after Secretary of state Hillary Clinton was assassinated by the infiltration of terrorists in Washington DC. Mrs. Clinton took a bullet to the head on live television yesterday as most of the American public watched. Most of the city of Los Angeles has been reported to be on fire from the massive earthquake and looting is reported in every-major city, as law enforcement seems to have given up on keeping any sort of order. We have reports of rabid anarchists taking over the city of San Francisco with machine guns. Vice President Biden is nowhere to be found after his trip to the Middle East. His plane went down somewhere in the Atlantic ocean many are speculating it was terrorist related. Congress and the senate have all but disappeared to underground bunkers we assume. America is in shambles folks and it looks like it’s getting worse with another massive chemical attack reported in Detroit. We also have reports coming in from Portland Oregon that another massive infiltration of alien space ships are landing, raping and killing anyone left.”The TV goes all fuzzy and shuts down. Max pulls his banana shaped spotty dick from Gloria’s love hole and cums all over her back moaning.“What the fuck were they rambling on about on the news honey? That shit was annoying. It’s like who cares what’s going on in the world. We as humans are all fucked sooner or later. You know. People worry about such dumb shit.”Max said, scratching his whiskey gut. Gloria agreed. She let out a pussy fart and yellowish stomach juice that looked like lumpy porridge came squirting out all over the bed sheets.“Eww, sexy honey, real sexy. For sure.” Max said.“Couldn’t help it Max.”The Cat begins to lap it up.“What is today anyway? Holy shit! It’s December 21, 2012! Honey! It’s time to go rob that fucking money filled bank!” Max yelled.He began to dress in his bulletproof armor and load his arsenal of machine guns. Gloria smiled with glee and got in her armor, loading a Mac Ten. They taped all sorts of grenades to their armor. Had bags of dynamite ready.Tons of ammo and guns strapped to their armor covered bodies. They shot up one more big shot of a particular strong batch of meth, ate a few more xanax bars for the nerves and headed out the door.Max’s grandma was having a nervous break down from watching the news, nailing all sorts of wooden boards up over the windows in her gas mask and her Hazardous Materials jumpsuit.They stood in the driveway looking like futuristic fighting machines. They were in love. Crazed neighbors were all freaking out loading up their possessions in hopes of driving somewhere safe. But there was nowhere safe. This was the end of earth. The final day. Max glared over at this one neighbor he never liked. He raised his machine gun. The neighbor was a yuppy snob who would make Max clean up Bubbles dog shit off his lawn.Max aimed at the man and began firing non-stop till the guy was a bloody mess of human road kill splattered in his driveway. Blood and brain matter blew all over the man’s always-perfect lawn. His kid came running out of the house and Gloria aimed her machine gun, squatting down into a sniper position.“Gloria! Stop, He’s just a little kid. What the Fuck has gotten into you!” Max yelled at her.Her eyes looked deep into Max’s with tears pouring down her half armored covered face and she let out a painful cry of doomed love from the bottom of her rotten stomach. Something had snapped in her. Her entire body was shakingShe pointed the gun at Max.“What the hell are you doing Gloria?” Max managed to say.She fired in a rapid non-stop quivering fashion. Her trigger finger pointing at the only non-armor proof part of his face. Into his eyes. Max dropped to the ground in a dead mess of blood.She stared at his dead body and felt some weird tinge of relief and loss filled with meth-induced psychosis setting in. She never really wanted to rob the bank after all. She was only trying to please her Max. And the stress and aggravation that built in her all those months of planning had finally exploded in a volcano of insanity and violence directed to her true soul mate. She had stopped taking her meds a month ago, never telling Max about it.Gloria looked up at the sky and it went completely black.A thunderous roaring evil almost indescribable horror filled sound came from the sky. Like a zillion tortured babies from some other planet all yelling through the loudest speakers in space.A universal scream of the end of earth, as we knew it. Other people at some of the other houses began to spontaneously combust and evaporate into reddish sand shards shooting up into this yellowish glowing wormhole that seemed to be s